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Man in hurry to get married...odd?


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Posted

Okay, I am racking my brain.....can someone help me with something?

 

Is there any particular reason a guy would be in a hurry to get married? I mean...other than desire. Had a date with a guy the other night, and he mentioned in a very off the cuff way that he NEEDED to get married. I thought the way it was phrased was very odd. He NEEDED to get married.

 

When I asked him about it, he bumbled out some excuse about being an only child and family lineage and giving his parents grandkids and stuff like that. I brushed it off. BUT a couple of days later, in a text, he stated he didn't have the time or patience to be waiting on me to decide what I want.

 

All of this seems so odd. Is there ANY reason a guy would feel the need to get married, whether it is some legality or....who knows?

Posted
Okay, I am racking my brain.....can someone help me with something?

 

Is there any particular reason a guy would be in a hurry to get married? I mean...other than desire. Had a date with a guy the other night, and he mentioned in a very off the cuff way that he NEEDED to get married. I thought the way it was phrased was very odd. He NEEDED to get married.

 

When I asked him about it, he bumbled out some excuse about being an only child and family lineage and giving his parents grandkids and stuff like that. I brushed it off. BUT a couple of days later, in a text, he stated he didn't have the time or patience to be waiting on me to decide what I want.

 

All of this seems so odd. Is there ANY reason a guy would feel the need to get married, whether it is some legality or....who knows?

 

To get citizenship?

  • Like 4
Posted

Maybe someone is threatening to out him as being gay.

Posted

Some guys do freak out about passing on their bloodline. It may happen to me, as I am the only one right now physically capable of passing on my parents genes. We will see how the future progresses though.

Posted

Is he from your country? Some people will marry anyone to obtain residency/citizenship.

 

In any event, his pushiness is inappropriate. I would not respond to his text about not having time to wait. Eff that noise. Something is off here. Next!

Posted

Con-artists want to lock you in before you figure them out.

  • Like 4
Posted

I wouldn't even be interested enough to try and "figure it out" in your shoes, but as a man I'd either say;

 

- he's a weirdo, has some kind of desperate obsession

 

- it's a ploy to manipulate you into thinking he's the "commitment" type or some other dumb thing like that

 

- some obvious gain/reason that has nothing to do with you

 

So why does it matter? move on...automatic giant red flag

  • Like 1
Posted
Is he from your country? Some people will marry anyone to obtain residency/citizenship.

 

In any event, his pushiness is inappropriate. I would not respond to his text about not having time to wait. Eff that noise. Something is off here. Next!

 

Yes, I have seen this a lot with foreign guys. The worst part is that they pile on the romance and marriage talk early on and think women are so desperate for marriage they will buy it.

 

My home country is doing very poorly right now (it always has truthfully). The unemployment rate is close to 40% among many other negatives. A life in Australia is amazing compared to that (thank you parents for moving here when you could :) ). The last time I went over there, guys were throwing themselves at me. I mean: hot, smart, young, old - it was insane. I could have been married in a week. Too bad I want true love :D

Posted

Yikes, ditch him. It's all fun and games to joke, but he sounds nuts. Next!

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Posted

1) I am about 99.9% sure it is not the citizenship thing. I mean, I haven't seen a birth certificate yet, so that accounts for the remaining .1 percent.

 

2) The lineage thing is something I definitely do not understand, as men are generally able to pro-create well into their 40's, 50's and beyond. Now, I understand if one parent is aging or ill, and feeling the need to give them a grandchild. That makes sense. The whole, "It's up to me to make sure the family line goes on" like they are the Royals of Windsor...that to me, doesn't make sense.

 

3) The thing is: I have a tendency to overthink and second guess myself. I mean...trust me, it seems as bonkers to me as it does to you guys. But, I wonder...am I being crazy and paranoid and looking for things or remembering things a certain way? Or should I run for the hills because it is legitimately a bad situation?

Posted
a couple of days later, in a text, he stated he didn't have the time or patience to be waiting on me to decide what I want.

Well, say "OK, bye". Or just don't reply at all.

He sounds like a psycho.

Get out while you can.

  • Like 1
Posted

He might be taking the whole "not interested in game playing' to an absurd level by bringing up Big Commitment and trying to force you into an indicator of whether or not you want to continue. Or maybe he's self-sabatoging? If he scares 'em off early, he won't have to go through being dumped later? But my guess is that he's a control freak and this is the first sign of it. He's going to find a woman desperate to be married and who will overlook the red flag this is, and then she'll be stuck in it with him.

 

Whatever it is, it's not cool and you're well within your rights to use your Get Out of Jail Free card and take a pass on this one. I say walk away.

 

In the event that you go the other route - and out of curiousity ask him point blank why he's trying to rush you into that sort of statement - please do report back on what he says!

Posted
Or should I run for the hills because it is legitimately a bad situation?

The fact that he sent that text afterwards would make me think he was a very controlling person. So I vote for the bolded.

  • Like 1
Posted

Who really cares what the reason is, I'd be freaked the fu*k out.

  • Like 1
Posted

I was going to say there is but that sounds pushy and scary

Posted

Ask him how much money he would be willing to pay you. You might at least get some sort of story out of him. Or even the truth.

Posted

His biological clock must be ticking, or it's for immigration purposes :D

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