WitchVine19925 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 This guy (lets call him Daniel) and I have known each other for a few years now and back in 2012 he would flirt with me constantly on Facebook and would repeatedly ask me out on dates. However, at the last minute, something would mysteriously come up and he would cancel. This happened a few times and eventually I got sick of it. Then, one night at a school event we hooked up. We both had our year 12 final exams and so we decided that if the both of us are still interested then we could see where it goes after our exams had finished. I finished my exams and I didn't hear from him for 9 months. After 9 months Daniel sent me a message via Facebook and we spoke but this didn't lead anywhere. Then on my birthday in December last year he messaged me again and he started getting flirty again and we met up before he went overseas for a month but nothing happened on this date. After he came back from overseas we met up again and by the end of the night, Daniel and I hooked up (we didn't have sex). A bit over a week passed and he texted me asking me how I am and when I was free next. We were supposed to meet up last night and I waited for him to organise a time and place but he never came through! He was the one who instigated this and asked me out and I didn't pressure him into it. And I still haven't heard anything from him...did he suddenly loose interest? Why did he bother asking me out again if he didn't intend on going through with his plans? What are his intentions? If he asks me out again should I bother?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 This guy (lets call him Daniel) and I have known each other for a few years now and back in 2012 he would flirt with me constantly on Facebook and would repeatedly ask me out on dates. However, at the last minute, something would mysteriously come up and he would cancel. This happened a few times and eventually I got sick of it. Then, one night at a school event we hooked up. We both had our year 12 final exams and so we decided that if the both of us are still interested then we could see where it goes after our exams had finished. I finished my exams and I didn't hear from him for 9 months. After 9 months Daniel sent me a message via Facebook and we spoke but this didn't lead anywhere. Then on my birthday in December last year he messaged me again and he started getting flirty again and we met up before he went overseas for a month but nothing happened on this date. After he came back from overseas we met up again and by the end of the night, Daniel and I hooked up (we didn't have sex). A bit over a week passed and he texted me asking me how I am and when I was free next. We were supposed to meet up last night and I waited for him to organise a time and place but he never came through! He was the one who instigated this and asked me out and I didn't pressure him into it. And I still haven't heard anything from him...did he suddenly loose interest? Why did he bother asking me out again if he didn't intend on going through with his plans? What are his intentions? If he asks me out again should I bother? Good grief, no. He's wasting your time. What do you expect of him? He's shown you that you should expect very, very little. He's a huge flake and generally disrespectful of your time. My guess is that he's flirting and setting up dates with other girls too, and going with the first one that bites. He seems content to keep you as Plan B, but he's not all that interested in you. He gives you little crumbs to keep you on the hook for his convenience but disappears when someone else comes along. I'd cut ties with this guy or you'll continue to feel disappointed and confused when he does this again.
OhThatGirl Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 No. No. No. You shouldn't bother. It doesn't matter WHY he is not following through. It only matters that he isn't. Sounds like he has a bunch of stuff (maybe even relationships) going on in his life and when they don't work out or he's bored he reignites things with you for an ego boost, female attention, or a distraction. He's just entertaining himself. Accept a date with him (after he has repeatedly cancelled, flaked on the details) and you tell him exactly how much you think of yourself. Find someone that's willing to chase you and is so excited about spending time together he wouldn't possibly cancel. 1
OhThatGirl Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 ExpatInItaly beat me to it. Listen to her. 1
Author WitchVine19925 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I figured as much...I have two theories as to why he has done this. It was either out of boredom or because he is shy, he is scared of whatever we have becoming reality and so he backs out. Whatever his reason is, I don't deserve to be treated like this. Being blown off really isn't a nice feeling. If I'm just a game to him, I'm glad that we didn't have sex (it was definitely heading that direction but I said no), especially considering that I'm a virgin...it just sucks that I've been dragged back in and I'm made to feel confused and disappointed. Really not impressed with him.
Poppygoodwill Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I figured as much...I have two theories as to why he has done this. It was either out of boredom or because he is shy, he is scared of whatever we have becoming reality and so he backs out. . I think you've got the point so I won't repeat what others have said, except to point out that of the two theories above, it's A. He was bored and selfish and not thinking about how his flaking affected you. He's not shy and scared and overwhelmed. It never got that far because he kept flaking out! So often we women talk ourselves into the dumbest theories about men's behaviour. Don't you do it too :-)
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