M30USA Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I think it's fair to say that, in general, the hotter the woman, the more drama and heartache. After experiencing enough of this, I believe mostly just want peace in their lives. They don't want the endless drama, even if it means dropping their expectations in the physical looks department. So what age do you think this happens?
Woggle Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 After we learn the hard way that having a hot woman isn't worth it if she is a looney tune, 3
hotpotato Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I'm still searching for a man who values peace and stability. 2
mammasita Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 IME men who have solid relationships with their children value peaceful relationships. This is why I've always sought and been attracted to men who have sole custody of their kids. It's certainly very true in my current relationship.
Woggle Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Any male drama addict should date my ex. That was like a scared straight program for men like drama. No more drama for me from now on.
Author M30USA Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 IME men who have solid relationships with their children value peaceful relationships. This is why I've always sought and been attracted to men who have sole custody of their kids. It's certainly very true in my current relationship. I can see your point, but many men who DO want primary or sole custody can't get it. I was an example. Only 8% of all dads have primary. Usually it has more to do with the mom than the dad. In these cases, the moms usually flat-out left or didn't want their kids. 1
lucy_in_disguise Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Based on my observations, SOME men prefer stability, but will compromise for hotness. Others, like some women, thrive on drama. In the case of men in the first group, I would guess that when they are ready to settle down is about the time they start to value stability above attraction. Late twenties - early forties, depending on the guy. There is no hope for guys in the second group IMO. 3
Author M30USA Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 Based on my observations, SOME men prefer stability, but will compromise for hotness. Others, like some women, thrive on drama. In the case of men in the first group, I would guess that when they are ready to settle down is about the time they start to value stability above attraction. Late twenties - early forties, depending on the guy. There is no hope for guys in the second group IMO. I should have gotten more experience with women before getting married. But I was in my own little world. Maybe I should have dated the crazies before choosing my wife. I just didnt know.
Author M30USA Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Oh yeah! My 6 year old just caught a largemouth bass! I was so excited that I was literally jumping up and down, lol! What a way to spend our Spring Break together! 3
Grumpybutfun Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Oh yeah! My 6 year old just caught a largemouth bass! I was so excited that I was literally jumping up and down, lol! What a way to spend our Spring Break together! I love that you love your kids so much...they are very lucky. In answer to your question, I never cared for the crazies regardless of hotness. They were fine for hot sex, but not prolonged interest. Also, my wife has always been beautiful and sexy and hasn't ever displayed the smallest amount of drama queen tendencies. They do exist. G 3
Author M30USA Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Wait...why did I post this in this thread? I messed up. I thought I posted this in my other fishing thread. Whoops!
Copelandsanity Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Life is hard enough without dating and relationship drama. I run at a 6:00/mile pace from the crazies 1
carhill Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 At what age do mean value PEACEFUL rationships? It varies by man; IME, I found some friends parent's marriages quite unnerving, observing them as a young man, compared to the home life I was socialized in so I guess I never became enamored of dramatic relationships and, in general, they always left me with sick feeling in my stomach. I think that perspective was outlier and, to a certain degree, still is in my demographic. However, I've noted most of my male friends appear to have developed a similar desire for peace and quiet, now that most are grandfathers and either long married or married a few times. I've had my share of Burton and Taylor moments and am, overall, glad that part of my life is over. 2
GoodOnPaper Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I wanted peaceful relationships from the moment I started dating as a teenager -- of course, I was chewed up and spit out by girls because of that. I'm still scarred by it even though I've been married for 20 years. As far as lowering physical expectations goes, I actually wouldn't view it that way. I think it's more a matter of learning how you connect with a woman beyond the initial impression of her looks. Most of us guys aren't good at developing that -- I didn't really start to figure it out until I had been married for 10 or 12 years. When we're young, we develop the habit of thinking that everything is at the surface and go with it. For guys who are attractive/charismatic enough, that works and they just keep going with it. For those of us who are unsuccessful in attracting dates/sex/relationships, we just get frustrated that we're not good enough. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that for a guy, the attraction and long-term phases of dating require completely different skill sets. Being comfortable with "peaceful" relationships usually translates as "boring" in the initial attraction stage. 4
iris219 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I think it's fair to say that, in general, the hotter the woman, the more drama and heartache. Absolutely not. A person's attractiveness (or lack of) has nothing to do with how they treat others. 3
Author M30USA Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 I wanted peaceful relationships from the moment I started dating as a teenager -- of course, I was chewed up and spit out by girls because of that. I'm still scarred by it even though I've been married for 20 years. As far as lowering physical expectations goes, I actually wouldn't view it that way. I think it's more a matter of learning how you connect with a woman beyond the initial impression of her looks. Most of us guys aren't good at developing that -- I didn't really start to figure it out until I had been married for 10 or 12 years. When we're young, we develop the habit of thinking that everything is at the surface and go with it. For guys who are attractive/charismatic enough, that works and they just keep going with it. For those of us who are unsuccessful in attracting dates/sex/relationships, we just get frustrated that we're not good enough. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that for a guy, the attraction and long-term phases of dating require completely different skill sets. Being comfortable with "peaceful" relationships usually translates as "boring" in the initial attraction stage. My grandmother used to say, "Still water runs deep."
gaius Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I'm still searching for a man who values peace and stability. Don't tell me you didn't get a little excitement out of that old cuck always showing up when you went walking. It will be a sad day if I ever age to the point I don't enjoy a woman who's filled with drama.
hotpotato Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Don't tell me you didn't get a little excitement out of that old cuck always showing up when you went walking. It will be a sad day if I ever age to the point I don't enjoy a woman who's filled with drama. It was nice when he was friendly. The stalking, comments about my body, and telling me what kind of porn he liked, just disgusting... It was nice at first because I thought he was going to be my friend. He was older and had life experience I could have learned from. If I liked it that much, I wouldnt have considered getting a restraining order against him.
xxoo Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that for a guy, the attraction and long-term phases of dating require completely different skill sets. This is true for women, too. That's why there is a misconception that hotter = crazier. Not true, but some young people who are successful in attraction have not developed the long term dating skill set. And some young people only care about attraction and don't screen for the long term dating skill set. I'd guess most men and women mature past this point by late 20s. The drama gets old, and is sincerely a turn off. Stability shines brighter, and attracts more strongly. 1
lvroflife Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 For me it happened when I turned 30! I was a year out of a 7yr serious relationship. And I realized that I was ready for commitment. It took me 3 years to find someone I wanted to commit to, and how funny that she wasnt ready!! Anyway we are currently working on things to see as she has is nearing being ready, and I still feel she is the one. But she is HOT! And yes we have had DRAMA! But I think for most men when hey hit age 30 is when they become ready! Before then we are WILD. IMO
Silly_Girl Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Part of the reason my husband had no serious relationships before me (only a 2 year dating scenario with distance thrown in at different points) was because his own family had experienced drama galore with his father, and latterly and more so, his sister. Any sign of drama/noise turned him off. If we had met 2 years earlier I wouldn't have been a catch for him, I wasn't ready for true peacefulness, so the timing of our meeting was perfect. My ex of 8 years, well, he (and his personality disorder) thrived on it. And it's still going on in his life.
Woggle Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I have had enough real strife and adversity in my life so now I truly appreciate peace and contentment. I guess it is true that you need to experience the rain to appreciate the sun. I have no tolerance for manufactured drama unless it's in a movie. 2
Author M30USA Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 For me it happened when I turned 30! I was a year out of a 7yr serious relationship. And I realized that I was ready for commitment. It took me 3 years to find someone I wanted to commit to, and how funny that she wasnt ready!! Anyway we are currently working on things to see as she has is nearing being ready, and I still feel she is the one. But she is HOT! And yes we have had DRAMA! But I think for most men when hey hit age 30 is when they become ready! Before then we are WILD. IMO I must be the opposite. As a young man I was a people-pleaser. I always tried to be nice and I cared a LOT what people thought about me. Now, after 30, when most men are starting to "settle down", I'm just starting to get wild. Not wild in a sleeping around sense, but wild as in I don't give a crap what people think and I'm gonna live how I know is right.
RedRobin Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 I've learned that the people who complain the most about others having drama are the ones who have the largest share in creating it themselves. It takes two to tango. Lots of people confuse drama for 'passion' and 'love'. Both men and women. 2
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