Rachell Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) My ex boyfriend was one of the best boyfriends ever, extremely gentlemen! We broke up because we both didn't really have time for each other, not because of any other reason. I started hanging out with him as a friend, and I realized that he acts gay. He walks kind of weird, and it seems like he's walking with his butt. When he talks, he talks in this high pitch voice that does not really sound manly and he does these hand gestures that gives me the vibe he is gay. I don't know, I just have this werd vibe, guts feeling that he is gay and that vibe is not going away. I actually have that vibe since we were together, but it is not really that strong. I still have it after hanging out with him yesterday and it just feels weird. The thing is though, when we were together, he always initiate passionate and intimate kisses. He requests me to have sex with him. He gets turned on by me. He talks about watching porn, and he knows female porn stars. He talks about other girls, and he have previous girlfriends before. However, no matter how much he showed he love me, there is always that little piece of me that that believes something is off. Does a gay guy have the desire toward women? I have nothing against gays at all, and sorry if this post offend anyone. It is just that I dated this guy, loved him so deeply that I want to know the truth. I want to know if he loved me before. I wanted to know if that love he showed is fake, and in reality he does not love women. I know I cannot confront him, because he comes from a very strict family and I know he won't come out even if he is gay. Edited February 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed category text and moved to GRD Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Who knows. If he gets turned on by women, he is more likely bisexual than gay. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
henderson14 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Search his internet history. If he is looking at female porn sites he is straight. Every guy looks at porn on their computers. Link to post Share on other sites
hpjunke Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Search his internet history. If he is looking at female porn sites he is straight. Every guy looks at porn on their computers. This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 he might be bisexual and like men and women. but if he is from a strict family and not open to admitting it then asking him won't get you the answer anyway. you'll likely never know unless he comes out as gay/bi or confides in you. Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Seems like your "vibe" is based on nothing more than stereotypes. He "walks kind of weird"? Do you think being gay has an affect on one's gait? My rule of thumb is if a guy can get it up while hooking up with me, he's probably not gay. Link to post Share on other sites
smuggy95 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) I don't know. Usual advice is to trust your instincts, but realize that there are always exceptions and sterotypes. if your guy got it up and often, he could be bisexual. I know there are plenty of guys like this. There are also some gay men that are in denial...but i think what he had with you was genuine, real. remember, sexuality can be more fluid for some than others. Doesn't negate that you guys cared for each other a lot at one point. Edited February 17, 2014 by smuggy4 Link to post Share on other sites
HEY2147 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 From what you're sayin he sounds a little Flamboyant. What are other things that he does that are a little gay like what does he like, how does he dress, how does he talk about other men like celebrity wise, does he care about products like what does he do to get ready, what tv shows does he like, when you're out does he eye up at other men, when he compliments you does he get specific does he say "OMG those shoes look great with those jeans and that jacket"? I realize these might be stereotypes but some gay people are like that but some arent. If you're going to sit him down and ask him if hes gay watch his reaction if he get overly defensive hes gay. And remember just because he had sex with you doesnt mean hes not gay I have a friend who I known for years and he had girlfriends through the years but he was gay sometimes it takes time for them to accept themselves because of either fear of alienation or because of religion and their family who is religious and might disowned them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rachell Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 From what you're sayin he sounds a little Flamboyant. What are other things that he does that are a little gay like what does he like, how does he dress, how does he talk about other men like celebrity wise, does he care about products like what does he do to get ready, what tv shows does he like, when you're out does he eye up at other men, when he compliments you does he get specific does he say "OMG those shoes look great with those jeans and that jacket"? I realize these might be stereotypes but some gay people are like that but some arent. If you're going to sit him down and ask him if hes gay watch his reaction if he get overly defensive hes gay. And remember just because he had sex with you doesnt mean hes not gay I have a friend who I known for years and he had girlfriends through the years but he was gay sometimes it takes time for them to accept themselves because of either fear of alienation or because of religion and their family who is religious and might disowned them. He actually doesn't. He does not pay a lot of attention to the way he dress or the way he does his hair etc. It is just the way he acts sometimes that gives me the vibes. We get really intimidate, but not sex yet, and he seems to perform very well. He is a virgin and he is 25, which raises the red flag about why he didn't have sex yet. He was planning to give his virginity to me, but we broke up before that. It makes me wonder whether he is dating me to force himself to be straight. Of course, I know I should not judge based on the way he is acting, but I have a few close gay friends and maybe that is why it raised my suspicion. And the weird thing is, when I said do you do this and do you do that sometimes, he will say no I am a man, that is too girly...like he is defending something. I don't know, but they said girls have crazy accurate instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rachell Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 Overall he is a manly guy, but some actions of his just give me that vibe. And trust me, girls have very accurate vibes sometimes..especially if that vibe never goes away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rachell Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 What makes me post here....is that he actually gave me a little fashion advice while we are shopping the other day. It was nothing big, but he made a few comment like this color will look better on you, etc. You should try on those shoes. Nothing big, but it just kind of stood out. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Erhm?... Men give their girlfriends fashion advice all the time: "Hey, babe, go try on this lingerie and buy it if it fits. I want you to look sexy whenever you're preparing dinner in the kitchen." But I'm going to stop myself there before I sound too chauvinistic. I hope that you aren't going out shopping with him if you two are broken up. I know that things are difficult right now, but you can move on with your life, and whatever orientation your ex has isn't important anymore. If he is too uncomfortable to come out of the closet then that's his problem. He has to live underneath his own skin and he'll be miserable in any future relationship. I've learned that bisexual women aren't for me because of some poor experiences. Maybe you've learned that straight men are right for you; in which case you should date straight men when you are ready in the future. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you never really knew a spouse as much as you thought. But it does get better. Unfortunately, you won't get any answers which is why it's important to let things go. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Many guys who identify as gay, not bi, have children with women they've dated/married before they came out. So they found some way to have an orgasm with a woman. I would trust your instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
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