glauncher Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I'm so sad. My ex gf of 2.5years left me about 1.5 month ago saying that she lost her feelings. I did NC ever since hoping to move on and maybe one day reconcile. Today I accidentally found out the truth - She started dating a coworker(female) since December 2013. I know i have to move on but atm i just can't accept the truth... i trusted her that she said it's about us and nobody else. she even said before that she hates people who had rebound relationship shortly after breakup. Also she told me "maybe one day we can still reconcile"...I lost all my trust and faith in love today.
David87 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 How the hell did you manage to make her join the other side? NC dude all the way.
Author glauncher Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 How the hell did you manage to make her join the other side? NC dude all the way. I dont know. She has a group of coworkers (all female) and used to hangout once or twice a week. Recently we were talking about marriage and she said she wasn't ready. I did pressure a bit bcz she is being transferred to another country for 4 years and being married she'll be able to be transferred back. Then she started seeing me less and less in December.She said she's leaving and her coworkers wanted to bid farewell. 1 day she suddenly said "no feeling,breakup". Today... ...
iPhone Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Her saying she hates people who rebound after a relationship, that could be something called reaction formation -- quite similar to how a very repressed and secret gay person will go around saying they hate gays. Or maybe she views this as not being a rebound, but an escape to her real self. Either way, she is a liar and a POS. I mean, yeah, it hurts like hell, and my fiance of 4 years just broke up with me for someone else, but you gotta do it like me dude and realize throughout the day that THAT'S who she REALLY is, and who she really is is TRASH. 1
Author glauncher Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 Her saying she hates people who rebound after a relationship, that could be something called reaction formation -- quite similar to how a very repressed and secret gay person will go around saying they hate gays. Or maybe she views this as not being a rebound, but an escape to her real self. Either way, she is a liar and a POS. I mean, yeah, it hurts like hell, and my fiance of 4 years just broke up with me for someone else, but you gotta do it like me dude and realize throughout the day that THAT'S who she REALLY is, and who she really is is TRASH. She told me about rebound relationship even before we started dating...not during breakup.she couldn't accept that i flirted with other girls 6 months after my previous relationship with my ex ex ended.no sex or serious relationship involved. thats crazy. But now,she began dating another girl BEFORE our relationship ended.
oldshirt Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I burned up several years of my prime with a gal that turned out to be a lesbian. I should have seen the signs and taken them seriously but she denied it and I wanted to hear the denials. If she truly is lesbian and this isn't just some kind of exploration or a little adventure on the other side, she probably does not see this as a rebound relationship at all. She probably looks back at dating you as the exploration that she is now actually being herself. When I finally realized the truth and that my xGF was a lesbian I was hurt and dismayed of course but I also realized that it was something inside of her and no matter who I was or what I did, she was never fully invested in me and never could love me completely. It wasn't my fault for who and what she was nor was it my fault she didn't want to be with me. She never completely confessed to her orientation and I never pressed her for one. I figured actions speak louder than words and when she moved in with her new GF a month after we broke up (we never lived together) I just accepted it and went on about my business. I was bummed but we had a very civil and amicable break up and there was no drama or bent feelings or anything. If someone truly is homosexual there isn't a thing you can do about it and there wasn't anything that you could have done better or done that would have made her straight. It's better that she face up to it now and embrace her orientation now than after you have been married for years and have minor children together. Unfortunately that happens a lot when people try to force themselves to like a traditional hetero lifestyle. Greave the loss, cry in your beer a few times, bitch to your buddies on how she done you wrong. And then chalk it up to a life experience and drive on. she is what she is and there was no foul on your part here. It can't be used against you on your record ha ha ha. Treat it like any other loss and go through your grief process as healthy as you can and move on. It was unfair of her to say that you may reconcile but people say things like that to try to lessen the hurt at the moment. It's unrealistic to think that you will so put that idea to rest and get it out of your head. You aren't going to reconcile because you aren't a chick. The hurt will heal and the day will come you are no longer in pain over this. in time she will just be another memory of someone from your past. 4
Hoosfoos Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 How the hell did you manage to make her join the other side? NC dude all the way. What a shi tty thing to say. You're saying that her dyking out is HIS fault? I'm sure the poor guy did the best he could. Your comment shows a total lack of compassion. 1
oldshirt Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 What a shi tty thing to say. You're saying that her dyking out is HIS fault? I'm sure the poor guy did the best he could. Your comment shows a total lack of compassion. Yeah, if women turned lesbian because men treated them bad and men turned gay because women treated them bad, there'd be no straight people left in the world. People are what they are. 4
Author glauncher Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 Thanks oldshirt for your long post. I was blaming myself so much today. feel better now. Yea. I did everything I could. N i realized that everything that I've done, she just wasnt so interested/touched. I thought it was all my problem. Actually, i can accept the fact that she is a gay more than she'd betrayed me. She cheated, and i never ever will know it if it wasnt one of our mutual frens telling me. I would hv continued to have false hope of her coming back.
iPhone Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) She told me about rebound relationship even before we started dating...not during breakup.she couldn't accept that i flirted with other girls 6 months after my previous relationship with my ex ex ended.no sex or serious relationship involved. thats crazy. But now,she began dating another girl BEFORE our relationship ended. My dude, listen. She is a lesbian, she may have something against men (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE). Her griping like that may be because she views it as "typical" male behavior because she has something against men, more than she doesn't believe in rebounds. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't even matter either way, though -- Look, here's what you need to understand. She lied to you, and moved on immediately. THAT'S WHO SHE IS. She isn't the sweet, amazing girl you had cherished times with. That was an illusion you created in your own head at the time. THIS is who she really was all along. So let me ask you What do you miss again? Edited February 16, 2014 by iPhone 2
David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 What a shi tty thing to say. You're saying that her dyking out is HIS fault? I'm sure the poor guy did the best he could. Your comment shows a total lack of compassion. I didn't say that it's his fault, I was just trying to make the op feel better, it was a two and a half kinda joke. I don't agree with you about the lack of compassion. I feel bad for the guy, but I tried another kind of approach, it's not that healthy to read a lot of posts and all of them state ''o I feel so bad or I'm so sorry for you, even you say in your comment "the poor guy". You are new here and you don't know how many new users I helped. Op these kind of things happen, It's not your fault that she has problems with her sexual identity. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't be to hard on your self and don't hold on to the hope that she will come back to you one day because she may never come back. Try using this spare time that you have now improving yourself, buy new clothes, a new phone, hang out with friends and when you feel you are ready start dating again. Best of luck. 1
Recommended Posts