brokenheart12345 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 My boyfriend and I had been going out for 2 years and 3 months. We both attend university. One month before we broke up, I could tell by his facebook activity that he was engaging in some shady-ness with some girl - they were liking each other's stuff all the time etc. I don't think that he actually was physically cheating, but they both must have talked about having feelings for each other before we broke up. I am feeling a lot of freaking hatred right now because here I was trying to fix whatever needed to be fixed in our relationship while he was getting involved with some other chick. The thing is when you are involved with someone before you break up with your current partner, it makes breaking it off that much easier because you can just fall into a safety net. Let me tell you about why he chose this girl. My boyfriend suffers from depression. He had been contemplating suicide. Apparently this girl had gone through this before and she helped him out of it. I'm having mixed feelings about his new relationship. One part of me finds it almost laughable because the conditions of his new relationship are just so messed up. She suffers from mental health issues as well and doesn't seem stable at all. They also go to different schools an hour away and can only see each other on weekends. So like...how long is that going to last (lol)? I want the satisfaction of him crawling back to me after he realizes that his current relationship sucks major balls too, so what sort of action should I take to guarantee this happening? Also, I have decided to move forward - I just have like a really sure feeling that he will come looking for me as soon as there's enough pain in his current relationship with this girl. I've told him that now that he's officially in a relationship we shouldn't remain in contact. My purpose in doing this is so that he can't keep relying on me whenever things go wrong. He'll actually start to miss me and see that his relationship with her isn't as great as it would have been with me. Also, I need some space - I seriously think that he did some really scumbag moves. I am vengeful and when he gets out of this relationship, I want to be right there waiting for him. Lead him on, get him to ask me out, and then drop his ass and lay out what I really have been feeling. I want to know how low his actions were because this arrogant piece of crap has always been one to make excuses to legitimize his wrong behavior and I want him to learn that no one gets to treat me this way without paying.
flightplan Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 C'mon don't be leading him on... just move on and seek a higher quality of living. No need to crawl down in the gutter with him. Cut him loose and let a life well lived be your revenge.
Musing Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 If there is one thing I've learning in my years of dating is that living well is the best revenge. Right now everything for you is fresh so you're out for blood. But he's the one "winning" if you put your focus into him and what he is doing. Forget he's even alive. Don't talk to him. FB stalk him, or acknowledge his existence. One day you really won't care. If he messages you, don't reply. It works like a charm, every time. Because if he truly wants you, he'll realize what he missed. You're not pining over him. He'll think, "Wow, you won't even grovel for me? Aren't you upset?" Or, the other alternative, he just doesn't care and would think it pitiful that you are focusing so much on taking him down. Chances are this new relationship won't last. Maybe it will. But, if it doesn't, let me tell you - there is nothing more gratifying then watching as something like that crumbles as you watch from the sidelines. You weren't involved in that trainwreck and instead focused on you, you'll be the one that comes out winning. But you gotta shift your focus on you right now for that to happen. If it doesn't, then you'll be glad you didn't bother wasting your time on him/them.
Author brokenheart12345 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 I think all of your answers are things I already knew - it's just nice to hear someone else say it because it confirms things that you've been thinking. So thank you.
No Limit Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 What to do? Hold your head high and continue your life. And don't "lead him on" or anything like that, that's pretty immature - no offense, won't get any of you two anywhere and frankly it's a waste of time. Time to really move on.
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