iPhone Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 So briefly put, I was engaged for 3 years, together for 4. She left me randomly to talk with another guy. (I'm bitter about this part -- the dude is an unattractive 2 time DUI felon 11 years older than her (shes only 21) and he has a part time job, no degree, etc). ANYWAY. During the day, sanity kicks in, and I don't have much pain, because I remind myself every passing millisecond that no one worthwhile would do this, and the girl I thought she was for years was just a lie and I was fooling myself -- no point pining after a phantom. BUT The part that sucks is the dreams. Is there any way to stop dreaming? A medication, something? Honestly I would rather dream of myself getting eviscerated and tortured than dream of her... but alas, that's what I'm dreaming about as it is, just in a different way...
Raena Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I use melatonin, it is relatively cheap and OTC. It helps keep the dreams away. It's non-addictive as well. I know the nights can be the worst but you can do this! 1
sportzhl24 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Hey man dreams can be very beneficial to your psyche. I wouldn't be so quick as to try to eliminate them. I know it is difficult to dream of your ex, trust me I have been there, but soon you will find that these dreams are less common and you will go back to your "normal" dream content.
thatmomentwhenu Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 My ex and I were together for 4 years as well. Her and I are both 21. Within the 3 months that we have been NC, I dreamt about her maybe twice. In the past week, I dreamt about her every night and haven't slept well. The thing is, the dreams are different every time, but she's present. I wake up not really upset or anything, because I recognize my dreams as dreams, not reality. She acts as a placeholder of importance to me when I dream. When I'm awake, she's a memory. You just need to literally tell yourself, "self, these dreams are BS and reality is what I see and feel during the day"
Annie767 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I'm the same I dream quite a lot, but it is our psyche working through things. I had one last night about my ex and his new partner. They were trying hitting me, I was hitting back best I could but nothing was happening to them! Maybe it's my mind telling me they have too much control?! I'm sure they have a purpose, but it's not nice waking up feeling like you have just lived it all over again!
Tae Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I can totally relate to this as well! I dreamed that we were having a date and that we were getting back together and such sht. Pretty vivid dreams. It tells so much about my inner feelings, emotions, and hopes. Sorta feelings vs. reason. dreams vs. reality
notthathard Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Your dreams are there for a reason. It's your subconscious processing your reality, the more dreams you have the more you will let go. Your subconscious is a lot more smarter (it soaks up everything you see, learn, hear) than your conscious mind and it can decipher a lot of things your conscious doesn't see or miss. I had a dream around 8 months before my breakup that we were actually going to breakup. I strongly believe that this was my subconscious mind processing the signs that I was ignorant to see as I was blind in love. 2
realfriends Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 They'll slowly fade away. Within my first two months of my breakup, I felt like everyday I would wake up either during the middle of the night from a dream about her and wouldn't be able to fall back asleep or would wake up in sweats dreaming about her and start my day off terrible. They eventually go away. I have had maybe 1 dream about her in the last month and it was very bearable compared to the beginning. Im about 4 months post BU btw so just give it time.
changedlife Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 My counselor has told me that the dreams are our subconscious trying to work out different things. I've had some pretty weird/bad dreams since the relationship ended. I wake up in the middle of the night almost shaking, and the only thing that makes it go away is trying to contact my ex. I guess I'm not offering much help. I've been writing my dreams down and trying to understand them, and learn from them. You were innocent in all of this and a lot of my dreams are about me making mistakes and having guilt from hurting her. Melatonin is probably the best bet that wouldn't be an addictive coping mechanism. May God Help Us All
crimsoncurrent Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I share the same feelings when it comes to dreaming about the ex. The ex and I broke up over a year ago with no communication since, and just last weekend, I dreamed about her. It's so frustrating. I can completely relate. It's helpful to analyze them, but not too much. Sometimes, after dreaming about the ex, I think maybe it's some type of sign that she's going to reenter my life, but it's not, so don't get too caught up in them.
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