Lifegoezon Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Made a huge mistake. Found my ex on the dating site we first met on 4 years ago. New user name and a hot profile photo I took on holiday last year. Boom. Back to square one. I posted this on another thread (not mine) but that thread seems to have been removed. Someone kindly referred me to Natalie Lue's 'No Contact Rule, which I will check out. I am very familiar with Caliguy's guide and have found this site really useful: Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide In fact I only accidentally cyber stalked my ex. I've been fully NC for 22 days and no desire to break it. No stalking. Blocked and deleted everywhere. I dumped him when I found out he was dating again without finishing with me first. Last contact was him throwing me a breadcrumb of remorse at his behaviour. Today I was toying with working up to dating again so I went on the site I met him on as a guest just to take a look. My subconscious sabotaged me and I searched for his age/location and bam! there he was. But it has made me think. Even if I had searched more generally I would have come across him. Probably the case on other dating sites too. I don't want to come across more evidence of him dating. And he must know this would happen too, which is more salt in the wound. So, to get back to my thread title, how do we handle this situation people? Is it just proof I'm not ready to start dating again yet?
jennifermariecole Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 That was me who referred you to Natalie Lue - definitely read some of her stuff, it's incredibly useful. I can't post the link here as it'll just get removed but if you google her it'll come up. I think it's definitely proof that you aren't ready to date again - I wouldn't try just yet, it's very soon! Give it a few months. If he didn't even bother ending it with you before he got out there again, he sounds very inconsiderate and not a very nice person at all. Out of curiosity.. what was his reason behind ending things?
Author Lifegoezon Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) He didn't seem to have any intention to end things. His reason for dating and 'screwing things up' with me was that he had less desire for me but still loved me as his soulmate. (Said in one of the breadcrumbs). He knows that's the site I'll eventually go to but not the one he was on while we were together. I can't understand the callousness of putting my photo of him up there to find my replacement. How can someone I loved turn out to be such a pig? I'm sure you're right and I'm not ready. But does anyone have a strategy for this tripping over each other on dating sites issue? Edited February 16, 2014 by Lifegoezon
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