mano Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Hello everyone, i have been in a long distance relationship with this guy for 4.5 years. 2 days ago we had a fight and he demanded my fb pass and in return i asked for his. I came out clean as there was nothin there except just some platonic friendships with my male colleagues. My bf on the othr hand i noticed had been joking with his friends showin em profiles of different hot chicks of uni. I am so saddened by all this cx i really hadnt expected it. Lately we have been getting along quite well and i didnt find him talkin trash and obsessing over some chick, but in mid of december he was stalkin girls, lookin at their pics and telling his friends that damn look at the chick etc. I understand this crappy behaviour is more influenced by his friends, they a bad company n keep stalking girls n checking them out. I confronted him yesterday n fought alot. I insulted him and lost my temper. Should i term it as cheating n break up? The two girls he was obsessing over, i noticed resembled me n had the same figure etc, my bf said he misses me n since im not there so because of his liking of me he found those girls hot. I am so confused. Maybe i need to cool down, but in our culture even this little stuff is a big deal. He says its a guy thing n they just fool around. N that its no big deal esp cux i am not there and he misses my physical presence alot. I need some insight please.
Annie767 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 In my world, I wouldn't mind him joking about other girls with the boys.....that's what some men do and women are also guilty. As long as its only banter! But stalking them is another matter entirely. Would you trust him if one of them made contact? Plus if you had to exchange Facebook passes then the trust is already shaken and it sounds like your having problems. Sounds like you need a proper discussion about what you both want and where this is going. Long distance relationships can be hard! You also need to make sure you both know healthy boundaries that will enhance your spect for each other. Just my opinion. Good luck! 1
Author mano Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 Lately we have been getting along quite well, no trust issues nothin but suddenly a heated arguement and he asking for my pass. I could ignore it because i saw multiple times that his friends would come n start bragging n showing him different chicks. Yes, the only problem was that i cant trust him if those girls made contact. It seems he is only clean right now beacuse none of them encouraged him. Also most of the disgustin stuff he did was while we were having a rocky time n also had a breakup back in oct for a month.
somecamel Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 What actually led to the argument and why did he ask for your FB password? It all seems a bit strange, does he not trust you?
Author mano Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 I dont know myself, he claims that he got a random message from some1 telling him that i am cheating n so he demanded it. It was a private number so we cant find out who it was. Also i dont know y he just fought, was depressed and sad, i just textd n asked how he doing and suddenly he blew up on me taking out all his frustration on me. I was just shocked n deeply hurt, had to swear i have done nothing. N cleared it all. Then ysterday noon i checkd his account and all this happened.
KatZee Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 So basically there's no trust in this relationship. Why are you guys together again? I'm sorry but I don't care how long you've been dating. He has no right "demanding" your password so he can go and sift through your property just to ease his own securities. Dump him because you found out he was obsessing over other chicks? F.uck that. He'd be dumped for being this controlling, and insecure. My line would be crossed if a guy did this to me. 3
Annie767 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 disgusting stuff during a rocky time? So when it gets hard its ok to send pictures of myself to strangers?? Life gets very hard sometimes and if you have a partner that is going start harassing girls online when things aren't so smooth, then it's going to make things a lot harder. Is this really what you want? Life is hard enough without having to keep an eye on your partner!
changedlife Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I am a guy... who has cheated before in the past. I feel like I have been working through my crap to give you a honest perspective. I don't know this guy, but when I did similiar stuff , like demand a password it was because I didn't trust my ex, and it was because I was doing stuff that made me feel guilty and I wanted to know she wasn't doing the same stuff. Him looking at other girls, messaging them, talking to his friends just on FB would be more of an indication he might be doing more. He may or may not have cheated. You just need to listen to your gut on how he is acting whether or not you can trust him long term. Hopefully this helped in some way. May God Help Us All
Author mano Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I am a guy... who has cheated before in the past. I feel like I have been working through my crap to give you a honest perspective. I don't know this guy, but when I did similiar stuff , like demand a password it was because I didn't trust my ex, and it was because I was doing stuff that made me feel guilty and I wanted to know she wasn't doing the same stuff. Him looking at other girls, messaging them, talking to his friends just on FB would be more of an indication he might be doing more. He may or may not have cheated. You just need to listen to your gut on how he is acting whether or not you can trust him long term. Hopefully this helped in some way. May God Help Us All i thought the same, he himself was guilty thats why he demanded mine because he thought i must be doin the same. I think this behavior is somewhat influenced by his friends, he was never this kinda person. Also noticed he was quite sober in his conversations with friends n they are the perverts who keep talkin trash abt oher chicks. My bf said all the guys do this, its just for fun n joking, nothin serios.
Author mano Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 disgusting stuff during a rocky time? So when it gets hard its ok to send pictures of myself to strangers?? Life gets very hard sometimes and if you have a partner that is going start harassing girls online when things aren't so smooth, then it's going to make things a lot harder. Is this really what you want? Life is hard enough without having to keep an eye on your partner! we had a month break back in november, i thought he did it because he was lonely n sad. He never harassed girls on fb, there is this girl who is a model n all his friends keep talking abt how hot she is etc. His friend was showing him pics of that girl n he was saying she is hot. He never approached a girl. Just that all of his friends just sent pics of those girls to each other and said oh yeah she is sexy etc. That hurt me. They just look at pics and do it for fun or what. I dont understand, i would want a guys perspective on it please.
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