muffin Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I had someone I loved very dearly leave me about 4 months ago. After he left I found out he was bipolar and he also has a sociopathic personality, I discovered that when I bought a book on toxic people and it seemed it was written about him. He must have been in a calm zone the year and a half he was with me because I didn't see any dramatic behavior. There were issues, but nothing overly troubling until he suddenly decided to leave me without any real reason, blindsiding me. He immediately got into a rebound relationship that he is still in 4 months later. I keep praying and wishing he'd end that relationship so he'll have no ties to my city anymore and leave. He's not from here, and he has no job or reason to be here, his only tie now is that stupid new girlfriend. I absolutely DETEST this woman and I want to see her hurt as much as he hurt me. I doubt a bipolar sociopath can make any woman secure or happy for any length of time but I'm feeling impatient. Before all this happened I was a friend, not a close one, but I was friendly with her. She knew how deeply hurt I was and I confided in her what I found out about him and warned her not to be taken advantage of, because I had a feeling he might go after her next. She just ignored me and started dating him, thinking I just wasn't right for him and she is. I want so badly to see him dump this tramp and prove her wrong!! Anybody else struggle with feelings like this? They are hurting people with that ridiculous relationship they are in... her family isn't happy about it, I'm hurt, and some friends too. He did some commitment ceremony with her only a few weeks into dating her..... after stringing me along for a year and a half with no commitment at all. But he didn't marry her legally for whatever reason. It's like a hippie arrangement.... one that I want to see fail... and soon. Yes, I am getting on with my own life but I am really struggling with the hurt of this. And it's hard because I'm still alone. I know I'm probably in a better place, but I can't stand it that he's off happy with someone and I'm hurting and alone.
Allumere Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Been there, done that. Stop wasting your energy in that wishing department. That isn't how the world works. My ex husband was bipolar...ran off with a woman who according to her husband had some serious mental health issues in her past. You'd think it would never last, a disaster in the making. Nope. they got married, had a kid and lived happily ever after. Now I'm not bashing folks that are bipolar. It ain't cool to bash and it can be a bitch to manage. Some have success, some don't. Some become very self aware, some not so much. What is also very common is that they are aware that their actions can be hurtful and they do feel guilt times 100 when they are in a good head space...as a result many bolt or stay in the new life cause the guilt is too much. And the reality is, sometimes their actions are choices...they want to leave and it has nothing to do with the bipolar disorder. 1
Tripz Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I think having all kinds of bad, evil or improper thoughts are all part of the process. I know I've dealt with thoughts I've never had before. Moments of suicidal thoughts (mostly feeling like it would be a way to get back at her, which is silly of course), thoughts of hiring someone to beat the crap out of her BF (jailtime wouldn't serve my son very well), thoughts about wishing he (the recently recovering alcoholic BF) would find the bottle again and this time actually have a heart attack during withdrawal, etc. While I don't really wish any of this or would go through with any of it, the fact that the thoughts come into my head, suddenly, without any warning, just tells me it's part of the process of something so terrible as what we are all going through. I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think I'm some kind of THAT messed up.
jennifermariecole Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Of course it's normal - it's part of the process. With one of my exes, I made fun of him, his new girlfriend, even his mum! It was ridiculous, and I was bitter. When I stopped having these thoughts about him, I knew I was healed and over him. I no longer cared. He had no power over me to bring out my evil side - he was just a guy I used to know. When you get there, you're back to the old you.
Recommended Posts