JDPT Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 As a man.....I personally do not belong to that school of thought, on the contrary. Women should adopt the same attitude they had when they were trying to get into their wedding dress....or is that asking too much, and like you said...because they are married now, they no longer have to take care of themselves? Same goes for me....some slimmed down to get into that Tuxedo, and even cut out drinking and junk food, why go back to the old ways? So true because if you want to keep that "spark" going, you got to "stay sexy San Diego" Oh absolutely, this rule vigorously applies to both. What I was referring to was something I read which depicted something along the lines of "it's ok for a guy to be overweight..." or something rather. I recall when my ex and I were together she said to me once as she pulled my pants up, "you are so skinny". I highly doubt she meant anything by it, I merely viewed it as a comment but in my mind I said to myself "would you rather me be overweight?" (no offense to anyone) it was rather comical. It's amazing how both parties take so much for granted simply because they believe they are in a relationship that will endure it all, ideally yes, but not necessarily reality, hence the gigs or I don't know anymore lol. But yeah I agree with the San Diego analogy, both parties should always be attractive and as I view things, both should find themselves in bed and feel like the first time every time, but that's just me.
JDPT Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I see plenty of overweight people who are in relationships, and sustain them. To say being overweight rules people categorically out of the dating pool is just projection of subjective beliefs onto the masses. And if somebody wanders off, then that person has no tolerance to work on a marriage. Who says they won't wander off at the next person they're married to? I agree. This applies to the pool that as you mentioned, wonder off to the next person simply due to physical attraction. This can only lead me to believe that there just wasn't a solid foundation for the relationship to sustain itself.
Author DemetersHarvest Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 (edited) The issue is really, are OL daters willing to look past the outer package initially, in order to explore the actual content of the box? Or does the cover of the book determine the book's fate, regardless of content? I know that overweight people get dates. When I dated, in my younger years, it was people who got to know me prior, so things flowed, and it was all good. With OLD, it appears as if this finding and getting acquainted process has taken a turn for the really shallow. When I said earlier that even chubby men operate under the premise of "I dated a slim lady before, let's see if I can get someone like Demetersharvest in a trimmer version, that would be really great." I meant just that, the content is good/great, but the package suboptimal. It's not really about the person/character initially, as people stay away, or back off after some initial contact, because the possibilities online are seemingly vast. You just hop back online and keep "shopping", and end up mostly empty-handed yourself. I like myself as a person, and it shows IRL. The weight is coming off, as I have left an unhappy marriage behind. But like others said, it does take time, especially when you hit the menopausal breakpoint. Edited February 23, 2014 by DemetersHarvest 1
Tayken Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 are OL daters willing to look past the outer package initially, in order to explore the actual content of the box? Or does the cover of the book determine the book's fate, regardless of content? I know that overweight people get dates. When I dated, in my younger years, it was people who got to know me prior, so things flowed, and it was all good. Right...lets look at this for a second. I bet you $100 that MOST women won't "look past the outer package". Not many will admit it on a public forum, but in the confines of their homes, you can bet that they are doing the picking based on "not heavy" I'll also bet you another $100 that MOST men will "look past the outer package". Overweight people do indeed get dates, and going by your own experience, we see that men will indeed date overweight women. It's unfortunate, but it's the world we live in, and this is akin to some people on here saying and I quote ...."they will never date people of other race/culture/colour"...why? I guess because society says so
FitChick Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 one guy I'm dating now also needs to lose. If it works out, we can certainly help each other since we both have to deal with it and like myself, he is working to change habits. :-) It's going to be more fun to do weight loss with a partner. I recommend obese people of either sex who want to lose weight state that they are looking for someone who has the same mindset of getting fit and healthy. "We can get slim and sexy together" would be a good headline.
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