conmorse Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 It's been 3 months since the breakup after a 2 year relationship. Last night my friend's and I decided to hit the local pub to have a good time on valentine's day along with the other single people. Shortly after we arrived, we met up with another group of friends. Oddly enough, my ex's new boyfriend was there who happened to be acquaintances with one of my friends. Still being familiar with the ex's schedule, I knew she wasn't there since she works really early in the morning on Saturdays. Anyways, I was in a really uncomfortable position as my friends all decided to grab a table and sit down which included the new bf. After walking around the pub and my friends coming to talk to me persuading me to join, I hesitantly decided to join them at the table. I was sort of reserved but I talked to everyone there except for the new bf. I acted very cold towards him, occasionally making eye contact and giving him the death stare. However I never said a word about him or my ex. I stayed quiet and enjoyed my beer. Now I know my actions can be perceived as "immature" and "childish", but my resentment towards him is not solely based because he's with my ex, but because he was actively "flirting" and trying to make a move on my ex while she and I were still dating. See they had a class together all of last semester. Even after the break up he was quick to go for her. Now it's not to say that it couldn't have been a two way road- the blame is on her too. A part of me knows that my ex and him are a rebound, but it still doesn't change things.. She's with someone else. Why do I I think it's a rebound? Because 3 weeks after my ex and I broke up she was actively spending time with another guy, and when that didn't work out she moved on to this guy who's now her BF. I want to be the bigger person, I don't want to contact my ex or say anything to her new bf. If anything it would just make me look pathetic if i took any action. What are your thoughts LS?
LostConfused123 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Not sure if this is helpful but I have been in a similar position (not the most recent and why I'm here) but I remember it did hurt like hell!! I just avoided mutual friends and places I knew he may be. (not forever but just until I was stronger) for about a year. Not sure if this is what you want to hear but it's the only way I could heal and move on. This was also before Facebook days so that made it easier to not know anything about him. I'm sorry for your pain!! hang in there!! Best of luck! 1
somecamel Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I think you were pretty brave to go and sit with them. Must have been really hard. Kudos to you, I think you behaved as anyone of us would behave. At least you didn't get Violent:) 2
Arieswoman Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Hat's off to you, conmorse for being the bigger person and acting in a mature and sensible way. This will gain you plenty of respect among your friends and colleagues. If you see them together again "blank" just them. It does get easier, believe me. 1
Author conmorse Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 I appreciate all of your comments, trust me it was incredibly hard to sit in the same table as him, and even harder to keep my mouth shut and refrain from resorting to violence. I know at the end of the day that would just make things worse and make me look like the crazy ex boyfriend.
darkmoon Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 am 60 y o, you are not immature childish or pathetic, just human with feelings, if anything, I think your introspection here on Loveshack shows how serious you are about doing well, how you want to advance, this is a sign of maturity all by itself, of being responsible and concerned over your actions, you are/were tantrum-free no need to turn yourself into a stodgy old trout though, I think you did well, we all do, so take it as the truth 1
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