Hurting over situation

[Nanners]

Its a long complicated story but I really need it to get off my chest. I thank you ahead of time for reading this. Heres a list of people im going to mention in this (Not their real names):

 

Girl I view as a sister: Jane

Girlfriend: Suzy

Me: Nanners

Best friend: Steve

Girlfriends ex: Turps

 

Okay a year ago I worked with Jane and we became really close. Like a brother and sister close. I even met my best friend Steve there. We all had this close family bond even when the work shift ended.

 

About six months ago Jane left for university but was planning on moving back in town with her future husband, who is Turps older brother. Steve and I even had helped them move into a new house.

 

A couple months ago Suzy breaks up with Turps because she lost the spark with him. They dated almost two years. About a month after that Steve and his girlfriend introduce me to Suzy. We really hit it off. We really like each other.

 

When Suzy and I made it official that we were boyfriend/girlfriend Steve suggested I tell Jane about it. Big mistake. I called her and she was yelling like crazy. After I calmed her down she wanted to meet me at a local cafe. I agree and drug Steve with me.

 

Here's how the conversation went;

 

Jane: "Nanners how could you?! This is just sickening to think about!"

Me: " Let me try to explain to you how we met (gave lengthy story on how we got to know each other)"

Jane: " I honestly don't care. I dont want to even look at you."

Steve " Jane this is ridiculous. Suzy and Turps have broken up a total of three times. If they cant get it right the first couple times around they weren't meant to be together"

Jane: " They grew up together since they were babies! Nanners is just getting in the way of them getting back together"

Steve: " Nanners didnt cause their breakup and hes not getting in the way of anything. So get off that pity party. Nanners can't help who he likes. At least he was man enough to show up right now."

Jane: " Nanners no offense if you want to be with that b!$%& so be it but mark my words you'll never hear from me ever again"

 

After that Jane started bring up ways Suzy was going to hurt me. Steve stopped her and she switched the subject about the wedding. She was taking a lot of jabs at me by inviting Steve to a house warming party and not me even though I helped her move in. I have a strong feeling I'm going to be un invited to the wedding, which I hope it doesn't happen because that would really hurt me bad.

 

After we were done she hugged Steve like she always does. I looked at her and asked if we could hug, again we always do that, and she said no and that she hated my guts. She told Steve bye and walked out.

 

Now I've been laying in bed for over two hours now. I'm just kind of numb right now. I just lost a really good friend and I don't know if i'm making the right decision. I really love Suzy. She makes me smile so much my face hurts. But it hurts really bad to think about that not only am I losing a friend but I'm losing a friend that I view as a sister.

 

Thank you for reading

[funnywoman]

It really is not Jane's business and she has no right to act this way. Basically she is saying that SHE knows what's best for Suzy, Turps, and you. And she has decided to behave like a pouting child, demanding her way in other's lives. Don't let her do this to you, it's not her business, will never be her business. If she had your best interest at heart (not her's) she would have told you she had concerns because Suzy and Turps are on and off frequently, and she did not want to see you hurt by Suzy. She didn't.

 

Be happy with Suzy, I wish you both well, and don't worry about Jane. Under no circumstances would I let anyone throw a fit about my happiness and threaten me with losing their friendship if I didn't act the way they wanted!

 

Also, I understand you feel you are losing a sister. Try to see Jane as a sister then. Sisters and brother's disagree, like or hate each other at different times. If you really love Jane, really want to always have her around, stand up to her, say I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm happy with my life, give me a call when you when you want to hang out or need anything. She will eventually come around. If she doesn't, her loss.

[Nanners]

It really is not Jane's business and she has no right to act this way. Basically she is saying that SHE knows what's best for Suzy, Turps, and you. And she has decided to behave like a pouting child, demanding her way in other's lives. Don't let her do this to you, it's not her business, will never be her business. If she had your best interest at heart (not her's) she would have told you she had concerns because Suzy and Turps are on and off frequently, and she did not want to see you hurt by Suzy. She didn't.

 

Be happy with Suzy, I wish you both well, and don't worry about Jane. Under no circumstances would I let anyone throw a fit about my happiness and threaten me with losing their friendship if I didn't act the way they wanted!

 

Also, I understand you feel you are losing a sister. Try to see Jane as a sister then. Sisters and brother's disagree, like or hate each other at different times. If you really love Jane, really want to always have her around, stand up to her, say I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm happy with my life, give me a call when you when you want to hang out or need anything. She will eventually come around. If she doesn't, her loss.

 

Thank you I really needed that right now.

 

I see where Janes anger is coming from. Turps is her future brother in law and before that they were best friends. Turps is the one that introduced her to his brother (her future husband). So I guess shes just trying to defend him or something.

 

I also think she had it in her head that Turps and Suzy were going to get married. And then along came me. Im guessing thats why she placed most the blame on me.

 

I was really happy I brought Steve along. She crushed me to the point where I didn't want to talk.

 

But Im going to have to get my depressed butt out of bed. Im taking Suzy out for a belated valentines dinner And it should be fun. I just hope Suzy doesn't find out what happen today.

[ITw]

Funnywoman summed it up perfectly. Jane doesn't have your best interest in mind at all Nanners. She's acting like a baby, not even a friend or a sister. She's not your sister. She's trying to hurt you just cause you're making your own decisions. It's none of her business. She should focus on her own relationship and stop trying to destroy yours.

 

Like funnywoman, I would never let anyone interfere with my happiness or tell me who I can or cannot date. I also wish you and Suzy happiness. Enjoy your relationship with her and focus on being happy. You can let Jane know, you're there if she ever comes around but not at the sacrifice of your happiness. Jane has her future husband, so why would she not want you to be with someone you love? She's sounds selfish and has completely crossed the line IMO.

[BradJacobs]

Jane sounds like a lovely girl.

 

With Friends like her you won't need to look for enemies.

[funnywoman]

Nanners, get up and go be happy! I completely understand your desire to have Jane in your life, you really care about her, but it is SHE that is behaving badly, not you.

 

Btw...If Suzy does not yet know of Jane's feelings, she will soon. Be prepared to respond to her. If she brings it up, say yes, Jane expressed her opinion about our relationship, I've thought about what she said and I've decided I won't let her words bother me. And then tell Suzy you love her, and THAT is what you want to focus on!

 

Good Luck and SMILE...

[Nanners]

Thank you everyone. Its really hard on me right now but I know time heals all wounds.

 

I've made my decision, I'm staying with Suzy. I got a text from her an hour ago and it made me smile even when I was depress so I knew then I'm making the right decision.

 

I also got a text from Jane. She said, " As you seen today I'm extremely upset at you. I just don't want you to get hurt like Turps. But I'm standing by my decision that if you stay with her you wont see me."

 

I'm ignoring Janes message. Again it hurts right now but I know when I see Suzy tonight I'll be in a better mood.

 

Thanks again everyone

Edited February 15, 2014 by Nanners

[SerCay]

Devil's advocate....: Any chance jane is jealous? Some people just want people they love to stay single and devoted to their bond with themselves instead of finding love. It is quite possible that evn though Jane has a boyfrind and future plans, unconsciously, orheck even consciously wants you to remain single for her own friendship purposes, it happened to me before.

[Nanners]

Here's a major update for everyone.

 

After the confrontation with Jane I went to Steve's house and hung out for a few hours. After about an hour there was a knock on the door, it was Jane and Turps. She claims she just wanted to hang out and catch up with Steve. The twisted b!&%^ sat Turps next to me on the couch.

 

I pulled my phone out and text her asking what she was trying to prove. She wrote back saying she wants to show me how sweet and innocent Turps is and doesn't deserve people like me that steal women away from good people. That statement doesn't make sense because I didn't talk to Suzy until a month after her breakup with Turps.

 

I got up and told everyone I had to go. Jane asked where I was headed and I just said " A hot date with an amazing girl"

 

After that I got ready for my date. I took everything I had to not to feel depress but when I saw Suzy I was extremely happy. Suzy and I had an amazing belated valentine dinner. We ended up talking at the restaurant for over 4 hours. It was great.

 

The next morning I text Suzy but noticed she was acting different. I called her and realized she was crying. She wont tell me exactly what was said but Jane called her early in the morning and made Suzy feel worthless.

 

I spent that whole day by the phone trying to cheer Suzy up. The poor girl wouldn't even eat dinner. I stayed on the phone with her till she finally went to sleep around 4:30 that morning. She woke me up a few hours later crying. After a few hours of comforting her she finally came to the realization that she wasn't worthless.

 

Later that day I decided to surprise her by taking her to her favorite fast food restaurant and we had another amazing date. We even had our first kiss

 

So Janes plan completely backed fired on her. Suzy and I are closer than ever before because of the situation. I feel awful for Turps because I don't think he knows whats been going down.

 

Also found out this morning that Jane removed me on Snapchat, Facebook, and Twitter so thats that. Good riddance because anyone that calls my girlfriend a b!$@^ to my face doesn't deserve to be friends with me.

[ITw]

Whoa Jane sounds like some kind of twisted freak. I'd stay far, far away from her if I were you. Hopefully you cut the "friendship" off and keep her out of your life. She's still trying to sabotage a relationship that has nothing to do with her. She's definitely not your friend but an enemy indeed. Who cares if she uninvites you to events or stops talking to you? Consider yourself lucky that you saw her true colors. Keep things up with Suzy. You sound extremely happy and in love.