Made love on first date. Now she won't talk to me

[isisisweeping]

How old are y'all?

 

I was a victim of abuse growing up and while I wasn't in the situation much it did happen once that a guy was very pushy about sex after just one not now and a preemptive, I'm not ready for that, and I stiffened and didn't really participate unless he said do this (like kiss me, etc) but didn't stop it either because my past ... I did even try to give him head instead thinking if he came it would stop before sex... But I never said "stop you ******* get out I said I didn't want this" so he didn't know... and then I tried never to be near that guy ever again and he did ask me out again and again..., While it wasn't his fault per se it was scary for me and hard and I think it's a good rule of thumb never to continue once a girl has signs like stiffening up or withdrawing that if might not be what she wants. Not saying this for sure happened here but it's a possible explanation past the idea she used you to get what she wanted.

It can be hard to overcome.

[mickleb]

This guy doesn't have to feel guilty about a thing. He's clearly naive. He got the horn and went with it.

 

This girl is also not a narcisstic player. She dated the guy, probably sensing his naivety, which put her off him a bit. Despite this, she thought she'd give him a chance and they ended up getting frisky.

 

It didn't work. It turned her more off than on, so she let it be. He then acted out due to his inexperience and here we are.

 

As almost everyone who hasn't brought their own issues into it has said, the OP needs to learn that sometimes (especially in the beginning) people aren't into us, and that's that. Focus on finding someone more compatible to hang out with and practise getting those emotions under control. We all have to do it if we don't want to end up griping at Loveshack.

[Gaeta]

OP is unable to recognize that texting and calling 10 times someone who said 'no thank you' is harassment.

 

----* **You think he was able to recognize the unspoken language of a woman not wanting to take the foreplay further?**

 

No he was not. She was uninterested, his words, but he kept going.

 

How many man on here would press a woman into foreplay if she appeared uninterested?

 

And if he noticed she was 'uninterested' chances are she was aggravated or annoyed or uncomfortable and because of his lack of social skills he interpreted it as 'uninterested'

 

Like when a man rapes a woman and then says 'but she seems to like it'.

 

OP has a problem

[Tayken]

How many man on here would press a woman into foreplay if she appeared uninterested?

 

I am one man on here that will never go down that rabbit hole....if the advance is not mutual, am not touching...period

[eternal.denied84]

OP is unable to recognize that texting and calling 10 times someone who said 'no thank you' is harassment.

 

----* **You think he was able to recognize the unspoken language of a woman not wanting to take the foreplay further?**

 

No he was not. She was uninterested, his words, but he kept going.

 

How many man on here would press a woman into foreplay if she appeared uninterested?

 

And if he noticed she was 'uninterested' chances are she was aggravated or annoyed or uncomfortable and because of his lack of social skills he interpreted it as 'uninterested'

 

Like when a man rapes a woman and then says 'but she seems to like it'.

 

OP has a problem

 

I am a guy who accepts his mistake. Earlier I didn't want to get into specifics but let me just say it so that you don't get biased in what you write.

 

When I kissed her on the neck..She said..ooh just like that.. I like that very much. and this was at the end of the date.

 

what do you have to say now Gaeta ?

[MidwestUSA]

I am a guy who accepts his mistake. Earlier I didn't want to get into specifics but let me just say it so that you don't get biased in what you write.

 

When I kissed her on the neck..She said..ooh just like that.. I like that very much. and this was at the end of the date.

 

 

So which is it?

1) you could tell she wasn't into it, but proceeded anyway

2) she was at best 'not disinterested'

3) she 'ooh, just like that'

 

 

What were you doing when you could tell she wasn't into it then (if this neck kiss was at the end)? Did you get all three of these signals within the same date?

[eternal.denied84]

So which is it?

1) you could tell she wasn't into it, but proceeded anyway

2) she was at best 'not disinterested'

3) she 'ooh, just like that'

 

 

What were you doing when you could tell she wasn't into it then (if this neck kiss was at the end)? Did you get all three of these signals within the same date?

 

when I say she was uninterested. I meant that she was not initiating the things but she was involved quite well.

[eternal.denied84]

Thanks much all for your comments and views. I have learn't quite some stuff.

 

I liked the girl anyways so why to malign her image. I have deleted her number and I am now following NC.

 

as far as fb is concerned I am not going to delete her. She can do so if/when she wants that.

[Gaeta]

what do you have to say now Gaeta ?

Next time don't wait 3 pages of posts to give full details.

[ExpatInItaly]

Next time don't wait 3 pages of posts to give full details.

 

This.

 

But in any case, after she told you she didn't want to see you again, you should have backed off right away OP. Even if the date was amazing, if someone is honest and later says they're not interested any more, you listen. You do not proceed to bombard them with texts, calls, emails, etc.

[Eivuwan]

OP, just learn from this for your future dates. Respect a woman's words and think with your head, not your penis. Also, you seem to give into your impulses quite easily. Before you do things, you might want to consider the consequences and how your actions would be perceived.

[eternal.denied84]

Thanks much to all of you for showing me the direction. I can now clearly see what a jerk I am. I don't care whether she is a player or not but what I care about is that I must learn to respect others feelings.

 

Do you guys think I should send below mail to her ? Would this be classified as again not respecting her feelings because she made it clear that she doesn't want to hear from me ?

 

The last paragraph in this mail is the truth and that's the reason why I am thinking of sending this out.

Hey

 

first of all thanks much for forgiving me.It means a lot to me.

 

So

you said that you genuinely liked me when you spoke to me but you failed to feel the connection when we met. I say that this is perfectly okay and I am completely fine with this.

 

what I fail to understand is how does this stop us to have a normal conversation ?

let's say you think we just can not be friends. Okay. but please can you tell me why is it such a big deal to talk to me just once. ? Isn't that the only thing I have been requesting for ?

 

You don't know how much I am sulking inside and beating myself out everyday just because I feel that unless you don't talk to me once I won't be able to see myself in the mirror and feel happy about myself. You can bring back the happiness I have lost and all you have to do is just give me your 5 minutes . Can you please ?

[MidwestUSA]

OMG. Print it out and then BURN it! Have you read nothing about how you've already gone over the top contacting this girl?

[CrystalCastles]

Thanks much to all of you for showing me the direction. I can now clearly see what a jerk I am. I don't care whether she is a player or not but what I care about is that I must learn to respect others feelings.

 

Do you guys think I should send below mail to her ? Would this be classified as again not respecting her feelings because she made it clear that she doesn't want to hear from me ?

 

The last paragraph in this mail is the truth and that's the reason why I am thinking of sending this out.

Hey

 

first of all thanks much for forgiving me.It means a lot to me.

 

So

you said that you genuinely liked me when you spoke to me but you failed to feel the connection when we met. I say that this is perfectly okay and I am completely fine with this.

 

what I fail to understand is how does this stop us to have a normal conversation ?

let's say you think we just can not be friends. Okay. but please can you tell me why is it such a big deal to talk to me just once. ? Isn't that the only thing I have been requesting for ?

 

You don't know how much I am sulking inside and beating myself out everyday just because I feel that unless you don't talk to me once I won't be able to see myself in the mirror and feel happy about myself. You can bring back the happiness I have lost and all you have to do is just give me your 5 minutes . Can you please ?

 

Ugh don't send that. That is such a spineless, grovelling email, it made me cringe. Do you not have any self-respect or pride? Jesus man, let this woman go for God's sake! There are 3.5 billion other ones out there. Begging for her to talk to you will not get you what you want at all.

[ExpatInItaly]

Thanks much to all of you for showing me the direction. I can now clearly see what a jerk I am. I don't care whether she is a player or not but what I care about is that I must learn to respect others feelings.

 

Do you guys think I should send below mail to her ? Would this be classified as again not respecting her feelings because she made it clear that she doesn't want to hear from me ?

 

The last paragraph in this mail is the truth and that's the reason why I am thinking of sending this out.

Hey

 

first of all thanks much for forgiving me.It means a lot to me.

 

So

you said that you genuinely liked me when you spoke to me but you failed to feel the connection when we met. I say that this is perfectly okay and I am completely fine with this.

 

what I fail to understand is how does this stop us to have a normal conversation ?

let's say you think we just can not be friends. Okay. but please can you tell me why is it such a big deal to talk to me just once. ? Isn't that the only thing I have been requesting for ?

 

You don't know how much I am sulking inside and beating myself out everyday just because I feel that unless you don't talk to me once I won't be able to see myself in the mirror and feel happy about myself. You can bring back the happiness I have lost and all you have to do is just give me your 5 minutes . Can you please ?

 

 

No, no, NOOOO!!

 

OP, stop it. You have absorbed absolutely nothing from the advice given here. You are going to get yourself into trouble if you keep harassing her. You have developed a very unhealthy and alarming fixation on this girl and it could warrant a visit from authorities if you don't stop contacting her immediately. Your letter is inappropriate and will creep her right out. STOP.

[LEEVIT2F8]

NO just NO! If you send that letter make sure to send it snail mail and include your actual testicles with it for good measure. Now get up after reading this go to the mirror and say I am a douchebag then punch yourself in the junk as hard as you can for ever even typing that.

 

Done yet? No seriously go do that and then come back and read the rest.

 

Hurry up go punch yourself I'm NOT kidding.

 

Now as your waiting for your package to heal you have time to reflect and stop being a creepy stalker. When you get function of your junk back you will be ready for the next girl.

 

During foreplay you NEVER press. You go so far then stop and pull back. Look deep into her eyes and pause. Repeat this until she attacks YOU. Tease tease tease. Take your time and enjoy her, let her enjoy you. Make her feel like in that moment she is the ONLY girl in the world and she will always come back for more.

 

Sorry to be so rough but holy hell I'd even get a restraining order on you if I got some such creepy BS as that! Shake yourself kid your better then that.