No Limit Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 It's not unusual for WS to blame everything on their betrayed partners. Run for your life and sanity. 2
sidney2718 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 As heartbreaking as it is I agree with everyone else. I would also get paternity tests done on your three kids to see if they really are YOUR kids. With all respect, I would not do this. What if they turn out not to be your kids? You going to leave them in a parking lot somewhere? They are your innocent kids. Be there for them. Divorce is going to be hard enough one them.
peruano99 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 With all respect, I would not do this. What if they turn out not to be your kids? You going to leave them in a parking lot somewhere? They are your innocent kids. Be there for them. Divorce is going to be hard enough one them. He still needs to take a paternity test...my dad found his girlfriend cheated on him while he was on deployment, got impregnated by another man, but he forgave her and is taking care of her daughter like she is his own. He already has a daughter with his gf.
peruano99 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Its getting to the point where im starting to feel guilty like all of this is my fault all she keeps saying is that I was doing this and I was doing that I sit up crying asking her why she gets mad and tell me im argumentative I need to get help. She doest explain anything I asked her how many men or how many times did she have sex with this dude for her to get pregant and what ways were they having sex because now she wants me to try all these new ideas talking aboit topics she never liked to talk aboit wanting to have sex in alot of diffent and new ways the she used to hate. She listening to all these u a will always be my boo songs she has even contacted the guys and there wives after I contacted them she called the wives back and said I was lying and making things up our family of 5 first depolyment she does this start having guy friends spending nights in port with them at there house, has a serious relationship with a married man sneeking around the ship having sex gettinf rooms when theyvpulled into port spending all this time together she gets pregnant the whole ship finds out about it her friends even had to find out frok someone else, has abortion and stilk has the nerves to contact these dudes whike she is back at home now still locks her phone tells me I had no right to go through her stuff so whatever I found I was digging to make my self hurt. She still wanta to go shopping buy furniture eat like a famiky like every thing is ok. I even created a fake email and emailed all her friends and dudes and all the dudes talked about was loving her and all the sex they had and calling her baby. I completey devasted I cant stop crying or askinf why. Dude RUN away from this relationship, this woman ha no respect for you, please divorce her and find yourself a good woman. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Its getting to the point where im starting to feel guilty like all of this is my fault all she keeps saying is that I was doing this and I was doing that I sit up crying asking her why she gets mad and tell me im argumentative I need to get help. She doest explain anything I asked her how many men or how many times did she have sex with this dude for her to get pregant and what ways were they having sex because now she wants me to try all these new ideas talking aboit topics she never liked to talk aboit wanting to have sex in alot of diffent and new ways the she used to hate. She listening to all these u a will always be my boo songs she has even contacted the guys and there wives after I contacted them she called the wives back and said I was lying and making things up our family of 5 first depolyment she does this start having guy friends spending nights in port with them at there house, has a serious relationship with a married man sneeking around the ship having sex gettinf rooms when theyvpulled into port spending all this time together she gets pregnant the whole ship finds out about it her friends even had to find out frok someone else, has abortion and stilk has the nerves to contact these dudes whike she is back at home now still locks her phone tells me I had no right to go through her stuff so whatever I found I was digging to make my self hurt. She still wanta to go shopping buy furniture eat like a famiky like every thing is ok. I even created a fake email and emailed all her friends and dudes and all the dudes talked about was loving her and all the sex they had and calling her baby. I completey devasted I cant stop crying or askinf why. OK. Enough is enough friend. If you think that crying and setting up phony email accounts is going to help you, your wrong. There comes a time when you just have to say F#@K IT and do what needs to be done and that is file for divorce. Your not helping the situation by acting this way. Yes your hurt, devastated betrayed and in a marriage that is dead and buried. You may as well face the fact that she isn't going to give up any information to you. She's not going to feel remorse and she's sure as hell not going to say that she's sorry. She has no conscience, no guilt, no sympathy for you and how you feel or how it affects you. In other word, she doesn't care so the question is, why should you. Ask yourself this. Do you think you deserved her betrayal? Do you think you deserve to be treated like you don't count for anything? Do you feel that you deserve to have your love, feelings for her and your emotions treated like a piece of toilet paper that she wipes her ass with? Your only making it worse by thinking that she can change. She wont change for herself so what makes you think that she's going to change for you and just remember that she's been passing her ass off to lord knows how many guys and one guy knocks her pathetic ass up. Is that what you want? You seem like a really nice guy and no doubt you are and yes you have your faults just like all of us do but my friend, you don't deserve what your getting. You can do so much better than what you have so please, quit torturing yourself and get out of this mess and someday you'll find a good honest decent lady who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. Best of luck to you. 1
JDPT Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 She was plowed by several guys, had an abortion, and decided to never tell you about it? (not that it makes it any better). You need to dump this one man. 1
xAkulax Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Your marriage was over the moment she sleep with the OM or OM'S the abortion and attempt to cover it up should tell how much she has no respect for you. Dude you know what you have to do divorce her a@#s and well your at it contact her superior officer for conduct unbecoming or an Article 133. 3
xAkulax Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 still locks her phone tells me I had no right to go through her stuff so whatever I found I was digging to make my self hurt. She still wanta to go shopping buy furniture eat like a famiky like every thing is ok. I even created a fake email and emailed all her friends and dudes and all the dudes talked about was loving her and all the sex they had and calling her baby. I completey devasted I cant stop crying or askinf why. It's time to man up and stop being a bata worker drone. divorce and move on with your life 1
rumbleseat Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Not sure if the navy works like the land element, but here, the families of the soldiers can receive help in situations like this from the padre's office. Since it's not the member seeking help, it's kept confidential, and they have heard stories like your lots of times and will be able to help. Don't be afraid to ask for help in figuring out what you want to do next. I would also talk to a lawyer who understands military policies so you know what your rights are to her pension, medical insurance , etc, 2
Darren Steez Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 OP doesn't seem to be answering any of the questions posed...
peruano99 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Maybe because he is still shocked all of this happened. He seriously needs to divorce his wife for his sake and his mental health. That woman doesn't care about him at all.
Radu Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 His only way of getting hold of the reigns is to talk to a lawyer and start D proceedings, maybe even involve the JAG. He still hasn't figured it out, she is in charge right now and she is winning ... which will result in this blowing over, and everything going back to her version of 'normal'. 1
Author payton2042 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 So I contacted one of her friends and she said that 2 nights they stayed in bahrain together that my wife and another guy friend house of hers slept in the same bed together and the way they were acting made them look like they really liked each other the flirting and the touching. This is the same guy she completely admits that nothinf happen between them and I was beinf insecure she acts as if I dont even know this even after I confronted her abiut it. Her friend sayed she believed they had sex but she didbt wanna say anythinf about it. My wife like last night wants to get up and kiss on me hug me and try to have sex with me and expext everything to be better afterwards but its jot because im still finding things out but she wants to be a happy family but she doesnt wantt to talk about I dont really thinjbshe kniws whi got her prefnant. All she can say is what about when I did this or that
Author payton2042 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 I see your post im devasted at this point because she still is my wife my world my everything and she let them take it away
xAkulax Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Dude she is cuckolding you do you understand that she is playing you.Yes your world is crashing down around you but what matter NOW is will push forward or be barred by it the choice is yours.
Author payton2042 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 Dude she is cuckolding you do you understand that she is playing you.Yes your world is crashing down around you but what matter NOW is will push forward or be barred by it the choice is yours. Do you really think they were havibg alot of sex she says she doesn't like sex that much. How many times and what ways did they have sex do u think she was doing new things with them
TheBladeRunner Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 My son is a military JAG (lawyer). It’s a big deal to pick someone off a ship early. They likely did send her back because she was pregnant. Everyone involved can and likely would get kicked out for adultery. You may not want her kicked out for finical reasons, but you can sure get her attention by threatening to tell the Navy. All it would take is one phone call to the JAG office. You have her by the ovaries. Give them a squeeze. Ya' gotta' love the Uniform Code of Military Justice! OP, Buck is right, that may be why they sent her back. Go to her command and watch her squirm. 1
Author payton2042 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Posted February 16, 2014 His only way of getting hold of the reigns is to talk to a lawyer and start D proceedings, maybe even involve the JAG. He still hasn't figured it out, she is in charge right now and she is winning ... which will result in this blowing over, and everything going back to her version of 'normal'. Im trying to figure this iut but she gets really angry when I talk about it when I see her I see my wife my world and think she coukd never do this to me but everything im hearing and finding out is to hard for me at this point
Bryanp Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 The answer is of course. Why are you in such denial? She got pregnant and is not even sure who the father was. What more did you need to know? 1. Get tested for STD's 2. See an attorney. How much more humiliation and disrespect are you willing to endure? If you do not respect yourself then who will? 3
mammasita Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 If I were a man, I'd question wether the other kids were mine. Divorce her. I was in the navy. She's a mess. 1
Eivuwan Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Im trying to figure this iut but she gets really angry when I talk about it when I see her I see my wife my world and think she coukd never do this to me but everything im hearing and finding out is to hard for me at this point She's not even remorseful OP. What more do you need to know? Like everyone says, you are in denial right now hoping that things are a bit better than you think they are. But does it really matter whether she cheated on you with 5 guys or 500? What is your limit? 1
Darren Steez Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 Maybe because he is still shocked all of this happened. He seriously needs to divorce his wife for his sake and his mental health. That woman doesn't care about him at all. errr maybe..or maybe not, just curious that's all
rumbleseat Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I know it's hard for you right now. All the missing her, excitement that she was coming home, waiting for the day to come, and now this. It's no wonder your feelings are all over the place. If I were in your shoes ( and I've been the spouse waiting at home) , I would tell her you need some space to sort out your thoughts. Ask her to leave for a few days, and she the kids can go to see her (don't keep them from their mom, it's not fair to them). Give yourself some time to collect your thoughts and gather the information, legal and otherwise, that you need to go from here. (Btw, it sounds like your wife was quite the thing while she was away. Here, were call them "morale girls". They quite literally sleep their way to the top, much to the annoyance of the women who have worked really hard to be taken seriously in the male dominated military)
Running Man Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) Contact her unit. Bring up the adultery and abortion to the chaplain and her chain of command. She should be reprimanded and punished under UCMJ. If your really serious about getting the ball rolling to find out what happened. Go to her Brigade headquarters and ask to speak with the Sergeant Major or Brigade Commander and I promise you'll see immediate action and will find out everything you need to know. Don't expect her to tell you the truth, History has already proven that she cant be trusted. Edited February 16, 2014 by Running Man 2
tiredofitall2 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I can only see one option for you. You must file for divorce and move on. Is there any way you can get her out of the house or move out yourself? There simply has to be repercussions to her actions. She needs a coming to Jesus moment. But even if she does I would say move on divorce her she doesn't deserve to be with you. You have been faithful yet she has betrayed you and your family. The problem here is that she has done in the most vile way. Still there's no repentance from her or no remorse. Do not give into her sexual advances not be weak.
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