payton2042 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 My wife deployed for 9 months well 6 months into it she came *back early all of a sudden she was acting funny but I was back in my hometown with 3 kids. *I later found out she slept with multiple guys on the ship she was deployed on she had a serious relationship with one of the guys and he got her pregnant she tried to cover up everything by lying she even had an abortion all without telling me anythinf I dug through her stuff and found out because I knew something was wrong I confronted her about all the evidence thatvi had a he still lied called me crazy I dont know what to she wants me to act like everything is just fine
peruano99 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Leave her man...she slept with not one, but multiple men. 2
MrMeh Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Many people here would consider IC or MC for you, but I believe your wife took it to another level . Such impulsive behavior is pretty much sowed within her personality. After your "love" sleeps with multiple men, becomes enamored to a particular one, AND then lies to you incessantly, her word becomes weightless. I would file for divorce and keep your kids' intentions and emotional stability in mind with every decision you make. 3
TiredFamilyGuy Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) So, likely sent home by the military. Not out of bounds for you to contact the military to try to find out. Confront until she fesses up. See a lawyer. While she's a liar she should get none of your respect or warmth - do the 180 man. Edited February 15, 2014 by TiredFamilyGuy 3
aliveagain Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Where did she have the abortion? Decide if her career or your relationship is more important, if you choose your relationship than contact her superiors and expose it, the O/M's may also be married. Decide what you want but you need to know your rights, talk to a lawyer, you don't need to decide to divorce today. If she isn't remorseful, that's a different storey. 1
peruano99 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Sleeping with one man is one thing, sleeping with multiple men and getting pregnant, at the risk of getting an STD is another. 2
samsungxoxo Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Wow no words can explain what I would describe her as but it's beyond repulsive.:sick: Do what you have to do and start filing for divorce. 2
Author payton2042 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Even after I found all the proof she told me I had no right to go through her stuff she gets all mad t me for bringing it up she said she never slept with him and he didn't get her pregnant but he emailed her asking he she took care of them issue and he would send money to help we have 3 kids and 13 year marriage I dont know what to do I cant think right now. When I touch her I think of someone else doing it. She says she hates sex but she fot pregnant she is acting really different. Honestly how do you think they were having sex what ways Imean that says alot to me do u think she did all kinds of thinfs with him because with me its just hurry up and get it over with. 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Even after I found all the proof she told me I had no right to go through her stuff she gets all mad t me for bringing it up she said she never slept with him and he didn't get her pregnant but he emailed her asking he she took care of them issue and he would send money to help we have 3 kids and 13 year marriage I dont know what to do I cant think right now. When I touch her I think of someone else doing it. She says she hates sex but she fot pregnant she is acting really different. Honestly how do you think they were having sex what ways Imean that says alot to me do u think she did all kinds of thinfs with him because with me its just hurry up and get it over with. Seriously, I caught mine in a hotel with the other guy and she claimed they were just talking. As long as she lies she will make you feel nuts. Dig for more evidence if you must... But for your sanity I say don't. I would tell her that you intend to file for divorce and will push for a court martial. If she is military this is against the code and serious. I think you just have to claim she slept with her officer. I really can't think of any other leverage to get her to talk besides pretending to have proof and hoping she doesn't call your bluff. 2
peruano99 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Even after I found all the proof she told me I had no right to go through her stuff she gets all mad t me for bringing it up she said she never slept with him and he didn't get her pregnant but he emailed her asking he she took care of them issue and he would send money to help we have 3 kids and 13 year marriage I dont know what to do I cant think right now. When I touch her I think of someone else doing it. She says she hates sex but she fot pregnant she is acting really different. Honestly how do you think they were having sex what ways Imean that says alot to me do u think she did all kinds of thinfs with him because with me its just hurry up and get it over with. She keeps making up all these lies, lies, and more lies. Divorce her man. 2
No Limit Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 She doesn't hate sex. She hates sex with you. She lies constantly, cheats constantly. You even have evidence of all this. What else does she need to do? Really, it's like she's begging for a divorce. Also consider your own health. Who knows who she's sleeping with, the risk of STDs is very high. And while some might be 'harmless' there are still diseases like HIV/AIDS or syphilis. (I'd advice you to look them up but I'll be honest, once you do you'll never be able to sit next to your wife again. ) 2
Buckeye2 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 My son is a military JAG (lawyer). It’s a big deal to pick someone off a ship early. They likely did send her back because she was pregnant. Everyone involved can and likely would get kicked out for adultery. You may not want her kicked out for finical reasons, but you can sure get her attention by threatening to tell the Navy. All it would take is one phone call to the JAG office. You have her by the ovaries. Give them a squeeze. 2
M30USA Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 She gets mad at you for even bringing up her reckless behavior? And you're still with her...because? Even in cases where the cheating spouse IS regretful, people still consider leaving. Even Jesus says this is okay. But your wife isn't even regretful. As far as concerned, your bags should have been packed yesterday (or hers). 3
tiredofitall2 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 My wife deployed for 9 months well 6 months into it she came *back early all of a sudden she was acting funny but I was back in my hometown with 3 kids. *I later found out she slept with multiple guys on the ship she was deployed on she had a serious relationship with one of the guys and he got her pregnant she tried to cover up everything by lying she even had an abortion all without telling me anythinf I dug through her stuff and found out because I knew something was wrong I confronted her about all the evidence thatvi had a he still lied called me crazy I dont know what to she wants me to act like everything is just fine You MUST file for divorce ASAP, even if for some crazy reason yo later decide to reconcile, let's say she has an epiphany or something. But your W sounds like a very troubled person, I'd say gather the evidence fight for custody and move on. This is NOT a good situation. As a BS (betrayed spouse) you first reaction is to feel victimized ask why and want her to love and chose you. You feel abandoned, betrayed and your self esteem takes a huge hit making you want her to fix things in your marriage. That is just a phase and once the shock of the events wear off you will likely see things for what they are and move on. In most standard cases of infidelity i.e. a one night stand or a slip up or at least a single incident where there are children involved I'd recommend reconcile. BUT, your W is a serial cheater and in order to cover up now she ended an innocent life! Classy.... MOVE ON! 2
Bryanp Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 1. Get tested for STD's 2. Contact the military for further explanation.3 3. Contact an attorney. Your wife has no respect for you or your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will? By the way her behavior is so outrageous that you would have to conclude that maybe this was not the first time she cheated on you. I would consider testing your children for paternity. Good luck. 6
tiredofitall2 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Even after I found all the proof she told me I had no right to go through her stuff she gets all mad t me for bringing it up she said she never slept with him and he didn't get her pregnant but he emailed her asking he she took care of them issue and he would send money to help we have 3 kids and 13 year marriage I dont know what to do I cant think right now. When I touch her I think of someone else doing it. She says she hates sex but she fot pregnant she is acting really different. Honestly how do you think they were having sex what ways Imean that says alot to me do u think she did all kinds of thinfs with him because with me its just hurry up and get it over with. She hates sex with you! Don't feel bad though. It has nothing to do with you. She is a disturbed woman and only likes sex that is new and exciting. She likes the forbidden fruit. You are her H and the norm. She wants what she shouldn't have. Find a good woman that wants and desires only her husband. There are many, many out there. 1
VeronicaRoss Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 If your convinced all this is true then just get out, don't create any more drama with punishing her for everyone's sake. If the military took her off the ship early they know what she's up to and have decided to handle it by getting rid of her. I'm not sure what you'd have to gain from embroiling yourself by going back to the military to tell on her and insist they do more? Was she like this before she was deployed? What happened to her that all of a sudden she's acting so promiscuous? Did she lie and cover up with other people or you before she left? Was she raped on the boat? I had a boss who used to be in the Navy and she said she slept with a heavy flashlight under her pillow she was harassed so much in the middle of the night, she spent a lot of time terrified. She got out as soon as she could. 1
Oberfeldwebel Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 First I am sorry that you are in this situation. I have seen many military people lose focus for the important things in life and live in the moment. They return home and realize that there marriage is the real thing. However, for there to be any reconciliation the WS has to be admit to there transgression and be contrite. Your wife refuses to do either. The fact that she had sex with several men and became pregnant by one, proves that she enjoys sex, just not with you. I don't say that to be mean and has nothing to do with your sexual prowess. Since she is not contrite, I would expect her to be on the hunt soon as the time is right. I recommend that you consult with an attorney, you don't have to file, but need to know your legal rights. I wonder if you are currently working? 1
cnmcdee Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 time to get yourself over to MGTOWHQ.com and join the club 1
bubbaganoosh Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Why would you even want to touch her after her having multiple affairs and having an abortion? It doesn't matter what her feelings are at this point, it's yours that count. She lied, cheated and had an abortion. You say you have the proof and that's all you need.You don't have to make this a federal case, just get a lawyer and end it and tell her to sail on. I hope you used protection after what she did. What going to happen when she get deployed the next time? You can bet the house she will find another sailor and you back to square one. 1
HokeyReligions Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 As heartbreaking as it is I agree with everyone else. I would also get paternity tests done on your three kids to see if they really are YOUR kids. 2
Buckeye2 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 The Navy didn’t want a pregnant woman deployed on a ship that could go to war. If your wife serves 7 more years she can retire with 20. You will get some of that even if you divorce now, so you may not want to rock the boat. You might also get health care but who can tell where Obamacare will take us. She is blowing you off. All I’m telling you is that you could make life hell for all concerned with one phone call. Let your wife know that you know that. She does. Then do what is best for you. DNA your kids. It might help with divorce settlement if you go that way. You can buy a kit at WalMart and mail it off for testing. 1
peaksandvalleys Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 My wife deployed for 9 months well 6 months into it she came *back early all of a sudden she was acting funny but I was back in my hometown with 3 kids. *I later found out she slept with multiple guys on the ship she was deployed on she had a serious relationship with one of the guys and he got her pregnant she tried to cover up everything by lying she even had an abortion all without telling me anythinf I dug through her stuff and found out because I knew something was wrong I confronted her about all the evidence thatvi had a he still lied called me crazy I dont know what to she wants me to act like everything is just fine Sir with all you have written, why are you still with her? What are you trying to save? She put your life at risk. She risked her career. She risked your family. She is blaming you for everything. I think you should have your children tested. My ex believed he had a child with his OW. But the child was not his or her husband's. 1
Author payton2042 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Its getting to the point where im starting to feel guilty like all of this is my fault all she keeps saying is that I was doing this and I was doing that I sit up crying asking her why she gets mad and tell me im argumentative I need to get help. She doest explain anything I asked her how many men or how many times did she have sex with this dude for her to get pregant and what ways were they having sex because now she wants me to try all these new ideas talking aboit topics she never liked to talk aboit wanting to have sex in alot of diffent and new ways the she used to hate. She listening to all these u a will always be my boo songs she has even contacted the guys and there wives after I contacted them she called the wives back and said I was lying and making things up our family of 5 first depolyment she does this start having guy friends spending nights in port with them at there house, has a serious relationship with a married man sneeking around the ship having sex gettinf rooms when theyvpulled into port spending all this time together she gets pregnant the whole ship finds out about it her friends even had to find out frok someone else, has abortion and stilk has the nerves to contact these dudes whike she is back at home now still locks her phone tells me I had no right to go through her stuff so whatever I found I was digging to make my self hurt. She still wanta to go shopping buy furniture eat like a famiky like every thing is ok. I even created a fake email and emailed all her friends and dudes and all the dudes talked about was loving her and all the sex they had and calling her baby. I completey devasted I cant stop crying or askinf why.
harrybrown Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Man up. She will only lie to you. File for divorce and call her superiors. Do it this week. you have received good advice. Tell her parents and your parents. Get the info from the navy and file for divorce. She forgot to tell you that you are in an open marriage. Get out now. Run. 1
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