lovestruck55 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 So I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years, though he loved me very much; I realized we were two very different people, and weren't compatible whatsoever. I broke things off with him 8 months ago - but since he was still madly in love with me, he wanted to pursue a friendship and so I allowed that. Shortly after I broke up with him, I met an amazing man (my now boyfriend); and we got serious from the get-go. My current boyfriend is aware of my friendship with my ex, and is understanding about it, as I am understanding about his friendships with his former love interests. My ex bf asked to meet me on next week because he had important stuff to discuss with me (related to how he feels about me and whether he thinks we should continue this friendship or not), and I agreed. I told my bf how I would be seeing my ex, but since my bf is out of the country he told me that he would prefer if I met him when my bf was back in town because the situation made him a little uncomfortable. I then told my ex-bf how I couldn't meet him because meeting him would cause problems in my current relationship right now. My ex-bf is furious and gave me an ultimatum that he would be extremely angry with me if I didn't keep my word and met him as I had planned. I offered to negotiate and told him that he could call me and we could talk about it - but he says that he wants to talk to me face to face. I'm confused, I really don't want to disrespect my current bf as he has made his feelings clear about me meeting up with my ex while he's gone, but I also have a very good friendship with my ex - and this could probably be the end of it if I don't agree to see him. I'm just confused as to what I should do about this. Any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance!
Keenly Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Picture the two worst case scenarios. Boyfriend gets mad because you didn't respect his feelings and leaves you. Or Ex gets mad that you make him wait and he stops talking to you. Which one would you rather avoid ?
peruano99 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 So I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years, though he loved me very much; I realized we were two very different people, and weren't compatible whatsoever. I broke things off with him 8 months ago - but since he was still madly in love with me, he wanted to pursue a friendship and so I allowed that. Shortly after I broke up with him, I met an amazing man (my now boyfriend); and we got serious from the get-go. My current boyfriend is aware of my friendship with my ex, and is understanding about it, as I am understanding about his friendships with his former love interests. My ex bf asked to meet me on next week because he had important stuff to discuss with me (related to how he feels about me and whether he thinks we should continue this friendship or not), and I agreed. I told my bf how I would be seeing my ex, but since my bf is out of the country he told me that he would prefer if I met him when my bf was back in town because the situation made him a little uncomfortable. I then told my ex-bf how I couldn't meet him because meeting him would cause problems in my current relationship right now. My ex-bf is furious and gave me an ultimatum that he would be extremely angry with me if I didn't keep my word and met him as I had planned. I offered to negotiate and told him that he could call me and we could talk about it - but he says that he wants to talk to me face to face. I'm confused, I really don't want to disrespect my current bf as he has made his feelings clear about me meeting up with my ex while he's gone, but I also have a very good friendship with my ex - and this could probably be the end of it if I don't agree to see him. I'm just confused as to what I should do about this. Any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance! Don't go, I think your boyfriend is wanting you to do stuff with him you wouldn't normally do. Don't have an affair.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 So I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years, though he loved me very much; I realized we were two very different people, and weren't compatible whatsoever. I broke things off with him 8 months ago - but since he was still madly in love with me, he wanted to pursue a friendship and so I allowed that. Shortly after I broke up with him, I met an amazing man (my now boyfriend); and we got serious from the get-go. My current boyfriend is aware of my friendship with my ex, and is understanding about it, as I am understanding about his friendships with his former love interests. My ex bf asked to meet me on next week because he had important stuff to discuss with me (related to how he feels about me and whether he thinks we should continue this friendship or not), and I agreed. I told my bf how I would be seeing my ex, but since my bf is out of the country he told me that he would prefer if I met him when my bf was back in town because the situation made him a little uncomfortable. I then told my ex-bf how I couldn't meet him because meeting him would cause problems in my current relationship right now. My ex-bf is furious and gave me an ultimatum that he would be extremely angry with me if I didn't keep my word and met him as I had planned. I offered to negotiate and told him that he could call me and we could talk about it - but he says that he wants to talk to me face to face. I'm confused, I really don't want to disrespect my current bf as he has made his feelings clear about me meeting up with my ex while he's gone, but I also have a very good friendship with my ex - and this could probably be the end of it if I don't agree to see him. I'm just confused as to what I should do about this. Any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance! Hate to state the obvious, but your friendship with your ex isn't so good if he's making threats and trying to manipulate you. A good friend would be respectful of your relationship and not put you in a no-win situation. Respect your current boyfriend. Your ex is your ex for a reason, and doesn't have your best interests at heart here. 2
Omei Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) "but since he's still madly in love with me I allowed a friendship" Horrible line! So what you do to your ex really is drive him crazy with false hope to the point where he gets desperate and crazy wanting to be around you anyway he can, you've never let him heal never cut ties, you left this guy but didn't really I can't help but feel you thrive off it a little in some way because you clearly know he still loves you yet you stay within his life to cause pain, as long as it works for you tho eh? Leave him alone. Edited February 15, 2014 by Omei
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