Rollercoaster Rider Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 So..today was 9 weeks on NC. And I haven't seen him in 3 months. I have my good days, and bad.... but they are getting a little better. For some reason today I could not get him out of my head, all friggen day. Anyways, I left my house to go to the store, and I swear I seen the XMOM's truck driving through the parking lot of the grocery store down the road. I was tempted to turn around but, told myself it wasn't him. So, I continued to my next stop. Head into Walmart...do my shopping, go through the checkout, head towards the exit.... and guess who was standing right near the EXIT door?? YEP... it was him. I almost died, I'm sure my face showed it. I didn't know what to do, I have played this over in my head 100 times, and I was stumped. The only think I could do was tremble, and hold back my tears. He kept asking me if I was okay... I said I felt like I just seen a ghost. We talked for a little bit, said he missed talking to me, I said, I know this has been hard...it sucks. He confirmed that he did call me the other day...which I kind have thought it was him but I didn't answer. He asked for a hug and we said goodbye. He said he will call me..don't know how but whatever. Then...he called me from his house phone when he got home... ??? I'm so confused!! I don't know why after all this time he is coming back at me! Not sure what to do here...what this means...why is he contacting me again???? This honestly sucks....
Learningtoletgo Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Omg, that is like my worst nightmare!!!! I know that I will run into my xmm one day, but like you, I don't know if I can really ever prepare. Overall, it sounds like you handled it well! I don't know if I could even pull myself together to talk to him at all. Of course he called!!!! It seems like they always come back!!! Mine reached out after 5 months nc, and I agree it SUCKS. Part of you is relieved/ happy because you see that they missed you, but it just brings back all of the bad/anxious/doubtful feelings. I don't know if you feel the same, but I was surprised at myself at how much I wished he DIDNT reach out. For me, he emailed me and said that he wanted to call. But it has been two weeks and he hasn't (well, I did get one call from a number I did not know but I did not pick up). I know it is best that we don't talk, so I'm trying not to get hung up on the fact that he hasn't tried to call me. It is absolutely for the best. Be strong and follow your gut! If it feels wrong/bad, then I would say try your best to resume nc. But believe me, I know it's easier said than done!!!! 1
Berkley Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Is there a full moon or something ?? I just heard from xmm after three months of his NC demands. It was fine to hear from him....until he said he still doesn't want to see me or try to be friends again for another two or three months. huh ?? Why contact me then? Why contact me to tell me that he's not ready to really contact me ? I want to tell him where to go this time...but...I know that I'll be running in to him at my new job. Not often, but I'll have to see him and have to keep it together somehow. Mind games. 1
Berkley Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 It is a full moon actually. Oh wow...so it is ! That explains everything
Author Rollercoaster Rider Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Is there a full moon or something ?? I just heard from xmm after three months of his NC demands. It was fine to hear from him....until he said he still doesn't want to see me or try to be friends again for another two or three months. huh ?? Why contact me then? Why contact me to tell me that he's not ready to really contact me ? I want to tell him where to go this time...but...I know that I'll be running in to him at my new job. Not often, but I'll have to see him and have to keep it together somehow. Mind games. That is just weird. Sounds like he wants you on his time. Seems that is what they all want. "I'm just gonna try out my marriage for a little bit, then when it isn't what I want..I will call you back.." LOL!! Yes..you may need to tell him where to go. Maybe in a polite way??
Author Rollercoaster Rider Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Omg, that is like my worst nightmare!!!! I know that I will run into my xmm one day, but like you, I don't know if I can really ever prepare. Overall, it sounds like you handled it well! I don't know if I could even pull myself together to talk to him at all. Of course he called!!!! It seems like they always come back!!! Mine reached out after 5 months nc, and I agree it SUCKS. Part of you is relieved/ happy because you see that they missed you, but it just brings back all of the bad/anxious/doubtful feelings. I don't know if you feel the same, but I was surprised at myself at how much I wished he DIDNT reach out. For me, he emailed me and said that he wanted to call. But it has been two weeks and he hasn't (well, I did get one call from a number I did not know but I did not pick up). I know it is best that we don't talk, so I'm trying not to get hung up on the fact that he hasn't tried to call me. It is absolutely for the best. Be strong and follow your gut! If it feels wrong/bad, then I would say try your best to resume nc. But believe me, I know it's easier said than done!!!! Funny, because on Tuesday I got a call from a number, called it back and it ended up being a place he worked at every now and then. I knew it was him, but still I didn't call him. Honestly, him showing up..shocked me to no end. He lives like 35 minutes from me, so he wasn't just in the neighborhood... very weird. I am with you.. I wish he didn't contact me. Stirred up to many emotions and now I am in a state of confusion.
blue963 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Maybe he contacted you to keep you close so that you wouldn't find anyone else in the hopes that he will be back.
daretotrustlove Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Question regarding breaking the NC. My xmm took me right up to the point of telling his W. Then decided to stay. Didn't explain why, didn't tell me what happend. Nothing. Devastated to say the least. So I called him a few days later for closure. He still didn't explain anything. Said he didn't want to re live it. Said that he would love me the rest of his life. That we needed to just move on with our lives. That he would always have the memories. We needed to move on with our lives. Said he would think of me every night. Then says that he doesn't know what's going to happen. Can't make any promises. That if he comes back he will be free. We both cried on the phone. Said I love you, good bye and hung up. Now, two months no contact. I'm trying to heal and move on. This is the second time he has done this. Do they really have the nerve to come back again.????????????
txgrl Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Doubt it .. But the real question is are you going to wait for him to come back? If yes, y???? Is he worth it???
Author Rollercoaster Rider Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Question regarding breaking the NC. My xmm took me right up to the point of telling his W. Then decided to stay. Didn't explain why, didn't tell me what happend. Nothing. Devastated to say the least. So I called him a few days later for closure. He still didn't explain anything. Said he didn't want to re live it. Said that he would love me the rest of his life. That we needed to just move on with our lives. That he would always have the memories. We needed to move on with our lives. Said he would think of me every night. Then says that he doesn't know what's going to happen. Can't make any promises. That if he comes back he will be free. We both cried on the phone. Said I love you, good bye and hung up. Now, two months no contact. I'm trying to heal and move on. This is the second time he has done this. Do they really have the nerve to come back again.???????????? So sorry to hear that!! You know I honestly thought he wouldn't contact me again. We have broken up many times, usually only lasted a few days. We went almost 9 weeks NC, and that's when he showed up. We never talked about leaving our spouses to be together, I don't think that makes a difference though. He even went farther and showed up at my house the next week. Honestly, who knows what they are thinking and what they will do. I have a friend who's situation was a little similar to yours. Except she did leave her husband to be with the MOM. When push came to shove, and she waited two years for him, he still continued to say he would be leaving the wife for her. He never did, and they have had NC for 9 months. So every situation is different. If I were you.... keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't come back:-) You need to continue healing without him!!
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