Feeling trapped

[themotion]

Hi!

 

I have a fairly complicated situation on my hands.

I was seeing a girl from work (not reccomended, I know) for a few months and when she called things off a couple of weeks ago, I was in an awful mess and felt terribly heartbroken. (And still do).

Anyway, I have now found out that she's in a relationship with another guy at work!

I have totally accepted that she's in a new relationship and been been very respectful and polite to both of them.

However, I do realise that the 'getting over her' process, may be somewhat difficult, due to the fact that I see them everyday and can't 'escape'.

I should probably mention that they're both also in my social group, which has obviously lead to me having to avoid certain situations and stay at home.

 

I would just be extremely grateful for some 'coping' advice, as I know it's going to take a long time for me to heal and move on.

 

Many thanks

[somecamel]

How long were you two actually together for?

[themotion]

Only about six months, but we got very close.

[herself]

I think you should start a job search just for some fun and new adventure in your life. A change seems good, so no rush, but start and it will give you some hope.

 

Im gonna tell you it is SO rare that work relationships work.

Reason being everyone has their best foot forward, even if its a forced optimistic smile, its still a happy disposition, then your also vulnerable in the work environment so you bond with people who bring you comraderie, and you spend more time with them than your friends & family so many times a work bond becomes a fling, but rarely is the foundation real.

Soooo, the fact that it happened twice for your ex with 2 guys in the same workplace?

 

This girl is attention seeking, almost addicted to love maybe. Its tacky actually of her and insensitive & even cruel to this soon turn around & date another guy you have to be professional & work with, never mind it was already gonna be hard & awkward.

 

I commend you, your attitude seems good. Dont dare contact her at all. Keep super focused, try & avoid at all costs, do not engage, just let her rot in her own selfish behavior.

 

I feel like its the bond your missing, not the girl, this ones not a catch & be glad shes out of yoir life & she didn't waste more of your time. Dont be friendzoned, be deadzoned.

Since your being nice to them both, she doesnt have to feel guilty, STOP being so nice. She should be dead to you.

No more doormat mr. Niceguy.

Not suggesting revenge or rudeness....just a you dont exist attitude.

Really think new guy respects her when he knows he is your sloppy seconds & how fast she jumps relationships?

Focus on u & see how fast she doesnt even phase you.

Unless she has a work question. ..shes dead to you.

[themotion]

Firstly, thank you very much for your helpful reply

 

You'd certainly be right in saying that she's a bit of an attention seeker and I'd like to modestly say that I could do better.

 

The main issue I have, is the inability to avoid seeing them flirting and appearing so in love, when my feelings of hurt are still so fresh.

I do my very best to turn my head and ignore things that I see accidently.

 

It really does help me however, to show her little to no attention, although I do wish I didn't care whether she thinks I'm over her or not.

 

I did initially 'beg for her' back and felt very humiliated, although I now look back and feel proud that I expressed my honest emotions.

 

She's bad news that's for sure, but I still feel completely head over heels for her.

[Sugarkane]

Can't she actually date someone outside your workplace. I agree she sounds very attention seeking and enjoys screwing with you. I had a similar situation in school years ago. Got dumped and my ex would always stalk me and PDA in front of me. It was callous.