hooghie Posted January 18, 2005 Posted January 18, 2005 It's only been 1.5 days and I am so sad. I feel broken inside. My original post if you are interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t55226/ He is coming by tonight to get some of his things and I want to see him so badly, but I'm afraid I'll be too weak. We are both so sad right now. I just don't think there is anyway to fix the situation- what he did with my family is beyond repair. I don't know what to do. I just don't see how I can go on. Any advice will be really appreciated.
greenhorn Posted January 18, 2005 Posted January 18, 2005 Well Hooghie i read your previous post and got the whole picture. There are few things that are very clear 1.You love your bf very much and he loves you too and you both have no problem other than your sister episode which happened when he was drunk. 2.You love your sister very much and she is an integral part of your life. Now if someone tries to take a balanced approch it will be like this. Going by the fact that your sister was close to your ex husband she might have some kind of bias towards your bf and what he did aggravated the situation. Your bf did that when he was drunk he didnt do it when he was in normal condition so i guess you should take this in consideration. You should make both your sister and your bf understand.Your sister loves you and she would be happy if you are happy and if you can make her realise that you can be happy with your bf she would accept it you need to convince her that whatever he said was not intended it came out cause he was drunk.(this does not mean you need to justify your bf) Now speak to your bf and make him realise how tough the situation has become due to his drunken behaviour and he should restrict this behaviour and eventually come out of it.If he has really felt the hurt but your this breakup he would understand and ask him if possible to speak once to your sister. You should think that what your bf did was not intended it happened due to the fact that he was drunk.If you love him so much and want to lead rest of life without thim then please treat the problem and not the symptom.This is a narrow approach what you have taken . I know how miserable it feels when you loose someone whom you love so please dont end everything without giving a honest try to amend things and start afresh. Please think about my suggestion. Good luck & take care
HokeyReligions Posted January 18, 2005 Posted January 18, 2005 You might not know how you are going to go on, but don't worry---going on just happens. He drinks and treats your family poorly - maybe even abusive. Since your life is not over, he obviously is not the love of your life---that is yet to come. AND whoever he turns out to be - he won't treat your family like dirt and he won't drink to excess. It's OK to be sad now - change and heart-break will do that. But its not the end of your life. Change can also be good but sometimes we just don't see that right away.
Author hooghie Posted January 18, 2005 Author Posted January 18, 2005 thank you both so much for taking the time to read my post and responding. Greenhorn, you gave me great advice. The problem is, there have been numerous drinking issues- this is just the first really BAD one around my sister. He knows he has a problem and I think he needs to address it without me being in the picture for a while. I will give him another chance if he addresses the problem and makes steps towards fixing it. thank you again. hokey, thank you for your perspective/advice as well. You are right, I deserve someone who treats my family with respect and doesn't drink to an excess. I hope you are right and if things don't work between us, I will be able to love again this deeply- that just seems impossible right now because I met him when I was 31- actively started dating at 14 and never felt this way about anyone else. thanks again.
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