dontgiveuponme Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Hello everyone im feeling so down right now and im fighting the urge to contact him so instead of writing him i do it here. I already post a thread here last time but to make the story short my fiance broke up with me Jan.26 blaming it on my attitude said im so jealous and moody but god knows how much i tried to change but he didnt see and appreciate it.But i found out from a friend 2 days before he break up with me he is seeing a girl and other girls after it hurts like crazy coz thats so easy for him to find someone after 3 years weve been together. After 6 days of break up he texted me said he wants to see me so i meet him for a coffee and said he wants to fix our relationship again.I agree because i still love him so much.He told me even if he hangs out with other girls nothing compares to me and he only wants company so he wont be sad he said thats his way to cope with things and he dont have any feelings for them. 3 days ago i confront him about this girl keep tagging her photos to him and he likes it..He got mad at me saying im jealous again and he said i better leave him alone.I did until today i cant take it anymore i pm him on fb and he said i cant change no matter what i said he needs to understand my feelings since he is the one who had an affair im still traumatized.. I told him if he wants to fix things im not the only one to change but he also needs to take responsibilty and delete the girls on her fb he had an affair with if he really is sincere and care for my feelings and he got angry again said im such a ****ing drama and his ears cant take it anymore. The entire time we back together instead of being happy im not.So today i told him if he dont want me back anymore ill let him go but instead he said he just need me to leave him alone for AWHILE.I deactivated my facebook and said ill be back a week or so. I dont know what to do i feel so miserable right now that i cant think properly.I dont want to be in pain but i dont want to let him go because i love him so much.And i cant accept yet the fact that im going to lose him in my life.Any advice u can give me? Morning is the worst for me i woke up and it hurts so much coz of missing him night is better but sometimes i keep waking up from bad dreams..
StGeorge22 Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Don't mean to sound disrespectful, but this guy sounds horrible. He had an affair and still talks to her? That's riddiculous. It's also riddiculous that he thinks it's ok to hang out with other girls. I know you are hurting, but do you really think it's ok he treats you like that? I know I certainly wouldn't treat anyone I loved like that! If he knows he can have this other girl and you, why would he change? Tell him to choose one of the other and if he doesn't choose you , no matter how much it hurts, move on. 2
Author dontgiveuponme Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 This is our convo earlier: Me: I hate we are too casual at each other...i miss the old us Him:well that was before..things have changed Me:i know..but u dont wanna try to be back like how we used to be? Him:Yes eventually...but i cant start being all.."i love you babe" or "see you later babe" when i dont really feel like saying it right now. Me:ok i understand but i just wnna know if u still wanna try again so at least i know where will i stand? Him: stop pushing me into something plzzz...lets just how things go..i dont know right now Me:Im sorry if u feel like im pushing you but if u dont want me anymore i can understand and at least i can accept and let go rather than hanging in there and hurting. Him:well ive told u lets see how things go... if u piss me off still..bye bye..but if u really can change lets go for it... but i cant say either way right now cos its too soon.. Imm soo confused right now and im sure he still talking to the girls he used to hang out with..dont know if he wants me around still coz he loves me or just a back up plan
bluenote Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 I concur, I realy wouldnt' treat someone I love like that, doesnt' make sense.You must consider the possibility that this man is basically just using you ( just saying), loosely speaking men sometimes feel entitled to have two or more women-now a fact that both sexes indeed do nowadays. If I were you, I wouldnt ask him to have the power over me by chosing between the other lady and me, chances are he could feel to rechoose at a later stage or soonest and use that to blackmail you-you see I chose you over her and now you are just being a b... (sory I threw that b... in to make a point no reference to proper you). It is very dificult, it makes one feel like you are in a constant competition and later you cant be yourself because you are trying so hard to please the other person and you live a very sad life. Please be brave and throw in the towel on thsi guys' face-You will find hapiness again 1
Author dontgiveuponme Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 StGeorge and Bluenote thanks for the advice. Im being stupid to wait for answers and closure which he cant give me coz he is as confused as me right now.This maybe hard but i think its better for me to let go and accept things will never gonna be the same again...I want to cry but i really cant i dont know why since our break up i hardly cry and i want to let it out because it hurts like hell but i cant maybe something is wrong with me..
stillafool Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Your finance treats you a step higher than a pimp. He cheated on you and now he is basically telling you to accept things the way they are, keep your mouth shut or it's over. Girl, where is your self esteem???? As long as you let him know that you can't live without him he is going to do this. Get yourself together and walk away! Another thing, why does he need the company of women not to be sad? Doesn't he have male friends to cheer him up? This guy is horrible. Another thing, he just wants you to leave him alone for a while so he can jump in the sack with her. 1
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