Karasmatic Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 There is this guy I like. He is 50 and I am 34. When I gave him my number, he warned/reminded me he would be busy because of his 12 year old son. I know kids come first and mention that we could work around that. He ends up sending a text first which is great cause I did not have his number at first. After then he and I have been giving each other compliments and it all appears to be looking good. Even when I mentioned that I thought he was sexy. He replied with now you've got me blushing again. I end up suggesting continuing this over coffee or something. Let me know when you are free. Got no response after that. Left feeling a bit confused. Have not heard from him today either. I did not contact him today. I did not want to put pressure on him on Valentine's Day especially since we are not even dating yet so decided to back off. Not sure what to make of it all. Either he needs time to think things over, or is just busy like he mentioned to me about when I first gave him my number. Has me wondering that's for sure.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 There is no such a thing as to be too busy to reply a text. His child is 12, which means the kid is into video games and watching movies. This man is not changing diapers and breastfeeding each 2 hours. Not replying a text the same day is rude. If someone ask a question and you don't know the answer you don't let them hang, you tell them 'let me get back to you on that, have a nice day'. That is not impressive at all, especially from a 50 yo man who's supposed to be passed playing stupid games. Sorry, he's not into you the way you're into him. Don't settle for j!ackasses, a man that is genuinely interested into you will be in your face with it. There are plenty of men out there, you're not going to run out of them. 1
Author Karasmatic Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Yes. He is single. Heard people mention that he was single. Forgot to mention that in the OP. I just don't know why he would even bother texting me in the first place, if he was not interested. But I also know that single dad's don't have much free time as well. My friend reckons he just needs time to think things over. Just curious to see what a guys opinion would be, with this, also.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Yes. He is single. Heard people mention that he was single. Forgot to mention that in the OP. I just don't know why he would even bother texting me in the first place, if he was not interested. But I also know that single dad's don't have much free time as well. My friend reckons he just needs time to think things over. Just curious to see what a guys opinion would be, with this, also. Karasmatic: ..............needing time to think, does not excuse letting someone hang on text, or email. He is showing you what kind of person he is, he is being inconsiderate, take notes. 1
BikerAccnt Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Not replying a text the same day is rude. If someone ask a question and you don't know the answer you don't let them hang, you tell them 'let me get back to you on that, have a nice day'. . No it's not. I just figure someone is busy. Besides, being his being 50, means he probably doesn't live and die with his phone like younger people do. I'm 53 and I know I can easily miss/not see texts. I don't even look at my phone for the 10 hours I'm gone for work. It gets put in my desk drawer and there it stays. I'm at work to work, not text. If something is an emergency, I expect a phone call, not a text. A non emergency text would definitely be missed/ignored. 1
soccerrprp Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 45-yr old guy here. Absolutely don't buy that he's too busy to respond to your texts. Or any communication for that matter. Like someone said, his child is 12, so not over-whelmed by changing diapers or being the center of his child's attention constantly. So, he's divorced? Perhaps he's "figuring" things out, but there's also the possibility that he has "other" obligations, connections that he is too busy with and doesn't want you to know about. If I were into you, I would be freely contacting you. 1
BikerAccnt Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Karasmatic, He could be thinking about the age difference, dating someone else, his kid, any number of things. Don't try and overthink it. I'm talking to a woman who pretty much never answers her emails the same day I send them, doesn't answer her texts right away, and can just be a general pain to get ahold of. Some people just are really not good with texting/emailing. I don't worry to much about it. I figure, if they really wanted to, they'd get in touch somehow. And if they don't, well, it's no big deal really. I don't consider it rude if they don't reply, I just don't consider it at all.
Iguanna Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 You are going through the great phase of flirting. Why don't you lay back and enjoy it rather than obsessing why he hasn't called and what he is thinking? You have made yourself clear, the ball is on his feet now. Just give him some time and go from there. 1
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 No it's not. I just figure someone is busy. Besides, being his being 50, means he probably doesn't live and die with his phone like younger people do. I'm 53 and I know I can easily miss/not see texts. I don't even look at my phone for the 10 hours I'm gone for work. It gets put in my desk drawer and there it stays. I'm at work to work, not text. If something is an emergency, I expect a phone call, not a text. A non emergency text would definitely be missed/ignored. and I am old too, 48 here, with tons of dating experience. A man that is interested will check his phone in the morning, after work, and before going to bed. An entire day without checking his phone I understand that, but a couple of days, 2-3 days. Other people have texted him, he's got phone calls, he used his phone and he saw that text of mine. If he has no answer then he can reply 'I am busy', or 'I will get back to you'. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I don't think he's really interested. A man who wants to see more of you would have to an invite for coffee. It seems he enjoys the flirty banter but isn't looking to take it beyond that at this point. He isn't too busy to respond to you. He can't find 10 seconds to reply? I doubt that. In any case, if this is how he communicates you probably don't want to waste your time. You'll be forever waiting for him to respond. 1
BikerAccnt Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 A man that is interested will check his phone in the morning, after work, and before going to bed. An entire day without checking his phone I understand that, but a couple of days, 2-3 days.. Ok, you're right here, I didn't notice that it had been a couple of days. If he were interested he wouldn't take that long. oh, and 48 is not old, your just a whippersnapper 1
Author Karasmatic Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Just find it odd that he would bother even sending texts at all in the first place, if he was not interested. Would have preferred him not bothering me at all. Feeling like a bit of an idiot for even asking him out now. Just thought if he sent a text in the first place and was being a bit flirty then he seemed keen. Everything before asking him out seemed positive. Guess I read it wrong… Honestly annoys me this kind of BS.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 oh, and 48 is not old, your just a whippersnapper lol thanks for the laugh.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Just find it odd that he would bother even sending texts at all in the first place, if he was not interested. Would have preferred him not bothering me at all. Feeling like a bit of an idiot for even asking him out now. Just thought if he sent a text in the first place and was being a bit flirty then he seemed keen. Everything before asking him out seemed positive. Guess I read it wrong… Honestly annoys me this kind of BS. I hear you, It drives me UP the WALL but it's part of dating. It's important to move fast from these flakes.
MidwestUSA Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 IIRC, you gave this guy your number without him asking. He took it, but immediately warned you he was busy with his son a lot. At the time, I was pretty sure he was blowing you off. You've now asked him out, but not in a way that required him to reply, even to politely say no. This is what happens when you 'suggest' coffee, via text. If you want to be the pursuer, at least pick up the phone. I'm not going to comment on the age difference other than to say he's at a different stage of life than you are. Good luck. 1
stillafool Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I really don't think it's the age thing. He is obviously attractive that is why you want him. I don't think it's too much of a stretch for a 50 yo to date a 34 yo. He probably has someone else he wants and is not interested in you. His lack of response is certainly not because he is so busy being a single father. He needs sex like every other man.
Phantom888 Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Single men in their 50s are lame. There is a reason why they are single at 50. Because they are selfish, cowardly and can't contribute to a healthy relationship. Men that age who pursue younger women are even worse. All I have to say is good luck dating this fellow. He really is full of crap.
devilish innocent Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 There's no way for you to know what's going on with him. The balls in his court though. There's no point in thinking or worrying about it. Even if you don't hear back, you shouldn't feel bad about asking him out. If he just doesn't want to meet with you, then at least you found out before you wasted more time texting with him.
jcrew11 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 He wants to be free on Valentine's Day, and it is far more pressure on the guy/boyfriend on Valentine's day than for the girl. Because the expectations is that the girl wants to be treated like a queen for a day with lots of romantic gestures/flowers/chocolates/dinner. Valentine's day is terrible as a first date for a Guy who doesn't want a relationship; and most women want Valentine's DAy to solidify a relationship/marriage/eternal bond. Call him up next week, when there is no pressure on him to spend hundreds of dollars on dinner and flowers.
Author Karasmatic Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) For those of you who don't know the story. There is this guy. He is 50 and I am 34. Yes he is single. I gave him my number he texts me back. He gets a bit flirty also. He mentions though that if anything were to happen with us it will only be sexual. I don't mind this and tell him I have the same intention he does. I invited him out for a drink last night. He responded with how he has his son full time, works as well, when he does not have him. Surprised he did not even try to work around that. He just kind of gave up. But I mentioned that I did understand the situation he was in. I do. I was not lying and that I thought that he was a very good father. Feeling a bit bummed about it and just wonder why he even bothered to text me in the first place if he was not up for anything. Edited February 15, 2014 by Karasmatic
ExpatInItaly Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Why do you keep making threads about this? The feedback will be the same as your other threads. He wasn't all that interested. Let it go. 1
MidwestUSA Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Why do you keep making threads about this? The feedback will be the same as your other threads. He wasn't all that interested. Let it go. Baffling indeed.
Gaeta Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 All kinds of reasons why he texts. He was bored, he wanted to know if you're respond, it sounded like a good idea at the time but then something else came up and that something else was more interesting. BUT, that being said, at the moment you exchanged your numbers he gave you a big BS excuse, right from the beginning he was not that interested.
FitChick Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 If you just want to get laid there are plenty of other men out there.
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