mg678 Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Hey guys, this question is mostly directed at the men: Usually when I'm on dates or between dates, I'm thinking very hard about the "right things" to do, like how do I write the text message so it sounds good or how should I strategize what I say so it's most attractive to women. In the middle of hanging out, I'll think, ok now I should talk about this so I can touch her slightly on the arm and that's build physical connection. It's all very tiring. I also think maybe I'm thinking to find the "ideal" way to attract the "ideal" woman rather than the girl I'm seeing. Sometimes I think this strategizing is pretty stupid. I mean, why not just hang out with a girl and talk to her as I talk to my female friends. Of course, then I read about needing for men to "create attraction," which seems to mean I have to do some sequence of actions or talk in some specific way so women in general will like me. Which is it? Am I screwing myself up by trying to work on the optimal techniques for how to attract women? or maybe my understanding of how to "create attraction" is wrong?
CaliGypsy Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I would personally prefer the man to be himself and not acting any certain way to try and get my attention. In the long run I think you'll be better off. She'll get to know and love the real you.. And if she doesn't .. You can always reflect on what it was and think about changing any negatives that might be detracting women. Not for her per say though. I think that's a good idea for anyone male or female who have been in a failed relationship!
tlegend Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 "Creating attraction" is an illusion. Stop thinking you can create it. It's either there, or its not. Can you learn to become attracted to someone over time due to repeated exposure? Yes. However, you aren't going to find that in a first date anyway. Be yourself, have fun, and if she's attracted to you, then it will happen. You can't force someone to be attracted, or "create it". You can only hope it's there for the both of you.
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