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crying in front of girlfriend. Good or bad?


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Posted

can it be a horrible thing to cry in front of your girlfriend/wife?

 

Me and a co worker argued about this today actually

 

I have been with my girl for 10 months and have cried 3 times in front of her

 

1)Was possibly getting laid off and I talked to my girlfriend about it and was just frustrating

 

2)At christmas when she wrote me a really sweet message in a card about how much she cares about me

 

3)A month ago when I had an anxiety attack because I fell behind on bills due to a car repair

 

My co worker said never cry in front of a girl but i dont think its bad if its something legit

 

what you think?

  • Like 1
Posted

I think it very much depends on the people involved and the reason for the crying.

 

I'm a guy and I have cried loads of times for various reasons, some are acceptable such as when my baby smiles at me and calls me daddy and others not so such as when I'm feeling sorry for myself.

 

Likewise some women are OK with it and others don't think it is a manly thing to do.

 

It's kind of like women farting, it bothers some guys but not others and some women don't get embarrassed and some do.

  • Like 3
Posted

I agree with Andrew. It depends on the woman, and why you are crying.

 

2)At christmas when she wrote me a really sweet message in a card about how much she cares about me

 

This one is sweet, and most girls would love this, or any kind of happy tears.

 

1)Was possibly getting laid off and I talked to my girlfriend about it and was just frustrating

3)A month ago when I had an anxiety attack because I fell behind on bills due to a car repair

 

These two... well, they are understandable, but if you cry too much over things like this, it can make you look weak or unable to cope, which isn't attractive.

 

As long as you aren't crying every time something difficult happens, you should be ok though.

Posted

My husband's a big crier. It was a little shocking the first time he did it, while were we dating, but I find it endearing.

  • Like 3
Posted

Definitely depends on the girl.

 

I'd personally think you were a wuss. I prefer a manly man. I like a man who can express himself and is sensitive but crying is too extreme IMO. I can cry enough for the both of us.

 

The exception is death of a loved one.

Posted

I cry and I am not a sexist ass so I think it is perfectly fine. I like men who are manly enough to be themselves and cry or laugh or fart and just be a good human being. I thought all your reasons for crying was acceptable as long as you don't do it to be manipulative.

  • Like 3
Posted

Wow...Ok, it can been seen in two different way.

 

1. You are an emotional guy and aren't afraid to show your sensitive side...some women like that

 

2. They see you as week i.e. not an alpha male / macho type

Posted

Honestly, it isn't a good thing. Some women may be able to come to accept it, but I'm pretty sure that given the choice 99.99999999% of women would prefer a man who doesn't cry.

Posted

I wouldn't have an issue with you tearing up in those circumstances, same as I wouldn't for a female.

 

I'd expect either a male or female to be able to pull it together and get control of their emotions fairly quickly though. I'm not an extremely emotional person, so to me it's about release of a feeling, and then moving on.

 

Crying to relieve stress is natural.

Posted

In those circumstances I wouldn't think any less of you if you were my boyfriend. I think the crying at the card thing is super sweet and endearing and would show how much you care. I don't mind men crying if its how you deal with things then its how you deal with things. At the same time if you're crying all the time, I think it would get a bit tiresome, but that goes for either gender.

Posted
Wow...Ok, it can been seen in two different way.

 

1. You are an emotional guy and aren't afraid to show your sensitive side...some women like that

 

2. They see you as week i.e. not an alpha male / macho type

 

I'm way too old to worry about the whole alpha male thing. I can tell you that once I've wiped his snot and cradled his head in my boobs, saying 'there, there' while stroking his hair, we usually end up having some pretty HOT sex.

 

Food for thought, tough guys! :laugh:

  • Like 3
Posted
I'm way too old to worry about the whole alpha male thing. I can tell you that once I've wiped his snot and cradled his head in my boobs, saying 'there, there' while stroking his hair, we usually end up having some pretty HOT sex.

 

Food for thought, tough guys! :laugh:

 

 

I am 23 and agree. Machismo is goofy to me. Alpha means dog. Be a human being and be who you are and I will think you are more man than someone who goes by Neanderthal ideals. :p

  • Like 6
Posted

Yeah I'm with Constanza on this. I might not have picked quite such a high %, but I do think the vast majority would prefer not to see it. I do think there are exceptions though. The more rugged, macho & stoic her guy is then, the few times he might cry they kind of go all awwwwww:love: and love telling their gfs. They do like seeing his sensitive side on occasion, but because he is so macho normally the crying doesn't dint his image, in fact it might enhance her image of him. If you are not a rugged & macho guy, possibly not if you talk of tearing up when have anxiety attack, then don't let your gf see it. It bad.

Posted

Crying is only for funerals and pet loss... at least that is how I handle it..

Not in a million years would I let a GF or a girl I was dating see me cry and if I did I think I'd stab a knife in my hand to give me a good reason..

  • Like 2
Posted

For men this is a tricky subject. I do not cry in front of my children, but I am very affectionate and emotional. You can still be emotional but it is also good that you have discipline and self control.

 

I have cried in front of women, but not because I was losing my job, in fact, in that situation I wouldn't want them to worry and crying would make that worse for them.

 

If you are genuinely touched or hurt, go ahead and cry. But crying about problems may give out the wrong message. It may show a lack of resilience or confidence, which are considered unattractive traits.

 

To answer your question, crying is not wrong, but you may consider what effect it has on your girlfriend. Because it will have an effect.

Posted

 

I have been with my girl for 10 months and have cried 3 times in front of her

 

1)Was possibly getting laid off and I talked to my girlfriend about it and was just frustrating

 

2)At christmas when she wrote me a really sweet message in a card about how much she cares about me

 

3)A month ago when I had an anxiety attack because I fell behind on bills due to a car repair

 

 

Seriously dude ???? If I was a girl I would be annoyed by this. These things you shouldn't cry infront of your gf over these things -______- its acceptable if she dumps you , if death is involved or a baby is expected , other than that **** NO

Posted

My hubby cried when each of our kids (both human and k9) died. Since his last strokes he cries all the time. He tapes old reruns of the Lone Ranger from the 1950s. He tears up every damn time the end credits roll and the LR rides off into the sunset. It breaks my heart to see him cry now as he's nearing the end. Normally I don't care to see a man cry. I don't think less of one who cries - in fact I used to get frustrated that hubby never showed emotion and I sometimes s onsidered if he cared - but a constant crier gets tiring. I try never to cry myself and when I do, I go off and cry alone.

  • Like 2
Posted

I know I don't cry on purpose.. It just happens . I assume the same to be true for most (male or female) and would think no less of them. It is what it is.

 

It can be frustrating not to be able to control emotion at will.

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm way too old to worry about the whole alpha male thing. I can tell you that once I've wiped his snot and cradled his head in my boobs, saying 'there, there' while stroking his hair, we usually end up having some pretty HOT sex.

 

Food for thought, tough guys! :laugh:

 

 

I like where your head is at :D

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't think it's a bad thing at all (unless, as others have mentioned, it's manipulative or all the time (in the latter instance I'd be concerned about depression or other issues)). In fact I feel touched that he feels emotionally safe enough with me for it. I absolutely don't want a man who NEVER lets me see him cry. Sharing our emotions with loved ones is important, man or woman.

  • Like 2
Posted
The exception is death of a loved one.

 

And your dog.

 

And when the Aggies get a turnover.

 

And when Jim Brown gets killed at the end of the Dirty Dozen.

  • Like 1
Posted

Simply put, I was raised with the value that the men do not cry. Period.

 

If you need to cry, you escort yourself to somewhere where NOONE will be able to see or hear you. Then you let it out.

 

But in front of your family / friends / ESPECIALLY your woman, you do NOT cry.

Crying is a sign of weakness, and you need to be the pillar of strength in which you can hold everyone up in times of weakness.

 

Family values. Gotta love em.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
I don't think it's a bad thing at all (unless, as others have mentioned, it's manipulative or all the time (in the latter instance I'd be concerned about depression or other issues)). In fact I feel touched that he feels emotionally safe enough with me for it. I absolutely don't want a man who NEVER lets me see him cry. Sharing our emotions with loved ones is important, man or woman.

 

Nicely put KodakGirl, I would say crying is good as long as it not used in a manipulative way. Emoticons is good. I cried when my relatives died and still cry when I remember any sad moment in my life.

Edited by kart180
Posted

Most of the time it is an instant attraction killer but ask yourself if you want a woman you have to constantly be a robot around. My ex said she lost attraction for me when I cried at my best friend's funeral but my wife would never say something like that. Hold out for one of those hard to find women.

  • Like 1
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