Redhawkk Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Second post in a short span of time. I don't know what it is with me lately. I thought I was getting over her but damn...I feel like it's fresh all over again. The worse part is that I still need to reclaim some items from her so I know I'm gonna have to restart. But that's no exactly what's bothering me. It's the loneliness. I have friends and I've been going out, but I think it's because I'm not used to having almost nothing to do. Even at school, I'd generally stop after school to see my ex, now I don't. I have 2 days off from school a week and she would usually come over on tuesday nights. I'm conflicted with this drastic change in lifestyle. It sounds dumb...I did join a gym and I've been going a lot but that only kills an hour, an hour and a half at most. My friends are generally busy during the week and I just wish I had more of them. I can't pinpoint the problem, but It's been killing me these past few days. I feel like crying almost. I haven't since we broke up 2 weeks ago.
picnicinthepark Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Red everything is going to be okay! It'll come in waves but I promise you it will get better. Today is exactly a month since my ex left me and I admit that I feel sad but other days I feel much better. Last night I was able to sleep fairly well and I don't think I dreamt of her. But thinking about whether or not I dreamt of her makes me think about her. See where I'm going here? I know it sounds impossible but you are in control of your emotions so try your best to not concern yourself with her and what she's doing and stay positive! The feeling of a void in your life is normal. My ex and I were together for almost 5 years and lived together for over 1 year. She was my best friend and now she's gone. I wake up every morning and she's not there anymore. I find myself checking my phone expecting her to call or text. Does it suck? Yup. Am I gonna grieve over it? Yup. So don't try to bottle up those feelings. Cry if you need to just don't prolong the grieving process. You're doing the right thing hanging out with friends and family, they will support you through this. Friends and family will happily listen to your problems but try not to talk their ears off. Its okay for a little bit but no one wants to be around a debbie downer. So find alternate outlets! Gym membership is a great idea. Its a great stress outlet and you will look better, be healthier, and in turn you will FEEL better. I'd also advise you to pick up a new hobby or put 200% effort into school. This is the best time for you to improve on yourself. Take care always and everything is going to be okay! Edited February 13, 2014 by picnicinthepark 1
Author Redhawkk Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Picninc, thank you so much for that. I actually needed that. And I'm sorry for your loss But I know that feeling too, I know itll pass. But thank you for that I gotta be proactive! And so shall I be
picnicinthepark Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Picninc, thank you so much for that. I actually needed that. And I'm sorry for your loss But I know that feeling too, I know itll pass. But thank you for that I gotta be proactive! And so shall I be Anything for a fellow Canadian! Don't worry about me I'm gonna be fine and so will you! Try your best to keep busy and focus on your healing. Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. I look forward to hear about your progress in the LS forums!
Tripz Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 It's true, it does come in waves. So weird. I know how you feel Redhawk. Filling the vast void that was my heart has been tough, especially when suddenly, without your ex, you have all kinds of extra time. I've learned something very valuable through all of this, however. The amount of time I spend now thinking about her, is very similar to the amount of time I spent thinking about her when we were first met and started dating and were first married. I don't recall when that changed, maybe you simply don't notice, or perhaps the things of life start to get in the way...I don't know. What I do know is that it's like the first law of thermodynamics, that basically says the amount of energy output (work) is equal to the amount of heat supplied. I somehow stopped supplying the heat. I started to take my best friend, my soulmate, my queen for granted. I somehow stopped making her everything in my life and allowed her to sometimes take second, third...50th place against whatever else I thought important. I can't stop thinking about her now. Even when I try to, my mind still finds its way back to thoughts of her. I'm no longer as emotionally drained as I once was, which is wonderful. Man, those were some rough times, but I do reflect a lot on what I have truly lost. The price paid for my immaturity is immense. I hope I have learned a lesson that will never be forgotten. That's how I'm coping today...
Author Redhawkk Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 So it happened. I texted my Ex a few days ago to ask about picking up my stuff. She answered me literally 3 minutes ago, and I almost started to cry. Just receiving a message from her, emotionally killed me. On top of it, I have to go get my stuff now from her on Monday at the dorms. I'm hurting real bad now, and in a terrible mood. I want nothing more than to have her beside me right now, but I know it won't happen. I want the pain to go away!
Author Redhawkk Posted February 15, 2014 Author Posted February 15, 2014 Update* I am devastated. Just texting her, it's all for real, over and gone with no chance of returning...and I'm right back to Day 1
Annie767 Posted February 15, 2014 Posted February 15, 2014 Collecting your things is very difficult. I had to do it after a 4 year relationship and it broke my heart. But this is a normal relapse . Do you really need the things back? Once you have collected your things, it will be really tough for a while.....but go NC after, purge and begin on looking after yourself . Things will get easier ......been there and done it....TWICE ! Xx
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