eloise123 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 By boyfriend is married. We are going through low contact after I told his BS. I guess she is coming to terms with the truth and he is feeling it. when i meet him, he maintains he was there anyway and I was just coming along except when i get there, he is looking for me. he says he does not love me when i ask him, six years, so why is he meeting me? Why does he underplay our love? I try to say I don't want to see him again and then he says I will be here Monday etc. I get there and we just talk. I don't know what to do. I love him so very much. I do not want to be without him. I suppose he loves me and hates me for what i did.
sweet_pea Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Why do you want to be with a man that doesn't tell you he loves you, though you love him and downplays you? What about the relationship, the affair, is worth it to you?
Quiet Storm Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 If he says he doesn't love you, believe him. You think because he still wants to see you its love, but it could very well be about your availability and willingness to participate in an affair. Married guys don't have many options. Most women would not participate. He knows you are ok with it. He told you he doesn't love you and that he's not leaving, and you still want to meet up with him. Very few women would tolerate that. So I don't think he is downplaying your love, I think you are romanticizing an affair that was largely based on convenience and his selfishness, and your low self worth. This man does not deserve your love. You may logically know that, but by staying available to him, by tolerating this, by loving a man that doesnt love you... it chips away at your soul. You need to focus on yourself and work on your feelings of self worth. You are worthy of a full relationship. This man shouldnt be an option in your mind, yet he is still attractive to you and you still love him. Look within to find out why. 2
Author eloise123 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Any woman knows when a man loves her. I have no doubt. We would not have been together for so long if there was no love. Why is it that BS love to jump in and say that???He is downplaying it. he said it when we were arguing and I asked him if he still loved me. Then when he said No, I said right, I am not seeing you anymore, then he says he will see me Monday. Or he comes looking for me. . We have recently had a d day when the whole thing got horrible and he is going through the motions of that. He said altogether he felt pretty numb. It took him three years into our relationship to say he loved me He is downplaying the love and he sees me to talk only and be together. I am curious, do you consider it still an affair in those circumstances. I call it reflection. I am not asking whether he loves me, I know he does.
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