daddy87 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Hi everyone I've recently been talking to someone online that i've never met and at first we was just generally chatting untill now which has been 3weeks since we spoke. At first when we spoke, she told me about her previous relationship ended up badly but she never gave me a reason and i didn't wanna ask either but she did say she wanna be single for awhile athough shes been single for nearly 3years. We get on really well and we speak almost everyday and at first when we first spoke i didn't think anything of it but now think i've got slightly feelings for her... After a few weeks we spoke she told me one morning that she had a dream the night before and i was in it which got us both confused because we never met, i personally don't think she would lie to me about it because shes not a very flirty type of girl, but of course is that the truth i dont know... Then one day i decided to arrange to meet her and she was really up for it and even gave me her full address but when it came to the day we supposed to meet she msged me and told me she couldn't make it and gave me an excuse basically, i know that wasn't the real reason but i didn't wanna ask and plus i felt abit disappointed aswell! But she was proper apologetic about it though and keep saying sorry. Anyway few days past and i decided to find out the real reason why she didnt wanna meet...I found out that she wasn't ready to meet which i was ok with it but just dont know why she didn't just tell me when i asked her and why would she tell me where she lives? Came to this week now and she asked me what i was up to on the weekend and i told her im just gonna chill then she said "its Valentines day you got nothing planned?" and i told her no, But shes going out for a meal that night and told me its not a date or anything. Basically i haven't got what to do because she rejected once already so i don't wanna ask to meet again in case i sound desperate but at the same time i really wanna meet her though! Whats your advice?
CarrieT Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 You don't have feelings for her. You have feelings for the concept of who she is... You are projecting your hopes based on what little you two have talked about and it is the anticipation of perfection that is building your anticipation of something exceptional. THOSE are what you are building your feelings on because - as you said - you have never met her. Scale it back, take a chill-pill, and lay low. If/When she wants to meet, then get a little excited, but not until. 3
Author daddy87 Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 You don't have feelings for her. You have feelings for the concept of who she is... You are projecting your hopes based on what little you two have talked about and it is the anticipation of perfection that is building your anticipation of something exceptional. THOSE are what you are building your feelings on because - as you said - you have never met her. Scale it back, take a chill-pill, and lay low. If/When she wants to meet, then get a little excited, but not until. Thank you for your advice. Maybe your right, i know need to relax and chill. But i find it abit hard to keep a conversation going with her until i've met her...Do you think asking her number would be bad? at least we can chat on the phone
Elias33 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Best not to get involved any more than you already are, she isn't being very clear of what she wants from you and is leading you on a bit. Don't get your hopes up over something that may possible turn into nothing. The best thing is to lay low for a bit and minimalize your conversations.
Author daddy87 Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Best not to get involved any more than you already are, she isn't being very clear of what she wants from you and is leading you on a bit. Don't get your hopes up over something that may possible turn into nothing. The best thing is to lay low for a bit and minimalize your conversations. Yeah i'm definitely gonna lay low for abit now, i'm not gonna put any hope up like i said i've never met her before but she does confuse me sometimes though. When she couldn't meet me she said she will make it up to me?! Which made me more confuse haha!
Elias33 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Yeah i'm definitely gonna lay low for abit now, i'm not gonna put any hope up like i said i've never met her before but she does confuse me sometimes though. When she couldn't meet me she said she will make it up to me?! Which made me more confuse haha! That is because she wants to keep you on the line. People who give little crumbs like that do it for that purpose only. But meanwhile you run a risk of getting really invested here.
pickflicker Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 There's nothing wrong with the ego boost that an online flirtation can bring, but don't mistake it for more than it is. Flirt, have fun, but live your life, date, etc.
Targetlock Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I have the same problem, i always get carried away with these online flirtings. i let myself get involved too quickly then get crushed when it doesn't work out. I've learned to be more cautious, calm down and don't let my heart rule over my head with these things.
Tayken Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 I've learned to be more cautious, calm down and don't let my heart rule over my head with these things. Providing we are talking about the right head here? Getting all worked up over someone you haven't met, will always be a bad idea...what if they turn out to be a "catfish"?
Author daddy87 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Yeah I think I got myself attached way too quick and now I feel like I don't know how to get out of it. I feel like I need to speak to her everyday even if its about something small! Do you think I should just completely stop talking to her or?
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Do you think I should just completely stop talking to her or? Yes. If you have that "need" feeling that consumes all your thoughts, it is unhealthy and should be stopped. 1
Author daddy87 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Is it worth me even try to ask again to meet up?
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Is it worth me even try to ask again to meet up? Go back to my very first comment. When/If SHE wants to meet... Scale it back... Take a chill-pill.... That means waiting for her to contact you - if she ever wants to. Leave the girl alone; you are becoming obsessive = Never Works Out Well.
HappyLove Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Hi everyone I've recently been talking to someone online that i've never met and at first we was just generally chatting untill now which has been 3weeks since we spoke. At first when we spoke, she told me about her previous relationship ended up badly but she never gave me a reason and i didn't wanna ask either but she did say she wanna be single for awhile athough shes been single for nearly 3years. We get on really well and we speak almost everyday and at first when we first spoke i didn't think anything of it but now think i've got slightly feelings for her... After a few weeks we spoke she told me one morning that she had a dream the night before and i was in it which got us both confused because we never met, i personally don't think she would lie to me about it because shes not a very flirty type of girl, but of course is that the truth i dont know... Then one day i decided to arrange to meet her and she was really up for it and even gave me her full address but when it came to the day we supposed to meet she msged me and told me she couldn't make it and gave me an excuse basically, i know that wasn't the real reason but i didn't wanna ask and plus i felt abit disappointed aswell! But she was proper apologetic about it though and keep saying sorry. Anyway few days past and i decided to find out the real reason why she didnt wanna meet...I found out that she wasn't ready to meet which i was ok with it but just dont know why she didn't just tell me when i asked her and why would she tell me where she lives? Came to this week now and she asked me what i was up to on the weekend and i told her im just gonna chill then she said "its Valentines day you got nothing planned?" and i told her no, But shes going out for a meal that night and told me its not a date or anything. Basically i haven't got what to do because she rejected once already so i don't wanna ask to meet again in case i sound desperate but at the same time i really wanna meet her though! Whats your advice? You ever watched Catfish?
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