Nathanra Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 First off thanks for reading. I am going through a difficult time and really confused about a girl I have seeing. We have been dating nearly a year. She's 23 I am 27. She recently got a new job selling cars, what she did in the past. Ever since then or slightly before that I have been knowing changes in our relationship- lack of sex, itimacy etc. Recently she wanted to move out, she did. But the way she did it sound more of a break up. When I was non aggressive to the whole thing she kind of changed her story saying "we could still date, just not live together, everything would be the same" I was very understanding of this because we moved in only 3-4 months after dating. I just wanted her to know it there was anyone else and she always replied no. After I helped her move in, gave her my television, in her room she received a text. Against my pride, I read it. (Phone is locked, but text popped up) it was from her boss (he's 45) and I didn't read everything but I knew it was sexual and she was apologizing to him for not hanging out and calling me her ex. So obviously I was upset (she has cheated before) and confronted her. I told her I was done etc and left. Through text messages I asked why she didn't tell me there WAS some one else and why isn't she honest with me. She replied "I thought it would bring us closer agaiin to have my freedom." She called me psycho for looking through her phone, which I understand but at the same time she cheated and lied. She merely tried to blame me for looking through her phone and called me psycho. The next day we met to exchange a few items. We did, got kind of emotional at the end. I asked her very little about her boss to which she only replies "hes a good friend" after which I left. Shortly after I receive a text asking me to come over and hang out. I ended up staying the night. No sex but we didn't talk about anything relationship wise. The next day she ask me to come over and and I did. We went to an expensive resturant and she said it could be our valentines day dinner. We had fun, talked. Later that night in bed, she was joking about needed something for her new place- and how she wanted it for vday. I made a joking comment about how were not dating and she said she wants at least 30 days. I was kinda upset about the whole 30 days- I feel like I wasn't in the wrong she was besides me looking through her phone. We have made plans pretty much everyday this week except tonight. Anytime in the past or current she hates taking about anything that bothers me. She completely shuts down and wabts to leave the situation. By far the hardest person to talk to about anything serious. First off I know I'm a lush over, but you have to believe me I am in love with this girl. No matter how many times she lies, cheats I still can't let her go. I know I should but I keep thinking I won't find anyone else, how much my family and friends love her bad how well we can be when things are right. Something I've only experienced in 1 or 2 relationships. My personal thought is she's trying to use me basically. To have her freedom, yet have me by her side when she's lonely or not with another man. I'm pretty sure she has daddy issues considering the men she has been with- more than double her age and honestly I don't know what she wants. Nor do I think she does. It's confusing sad and sick all in one. Because I know I shoukd leave her but won't. So please she's some light on this for me, help a guy out. Thanks for reading and sorry about the typos (iphone)
George R Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I think the problem here is she isn't ready for a relationship. If she has cheated in the past and continues to do so, she doesn't want the same thing you do. If you wish to continue with her, you have to put your foot down and risk losing her. Perhaps you will win her in the end, but right now you are just enabling her indiscretions. 1
Author Nathanra Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Thanks for the reply. I agree 100 percent and I know I come off as a pushover, I know I deserve better
HappyLove Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Why do men fight so hard for women like this? So she cheated on you in the past....cheated again and your confused? If it walks like a duck... Safe to say she's a cheater i.e. Someone who can't be trusted. I don't understand what you plan on getting out of this relationship. Not only is she cheating, but with her boss. That's a disaster in the making, I mean is he married? She sounds like TROUBLE and you're the sucker she can run to who will fall for her crap. EVERY. TIME. 1
BradJacobs Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 She wants time to bang get boss and maybe others. Stay off you like being a cuckold. Leave her if you want to hold on to some of your dignity.
georgecostanza Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Dump her as fast as you can and never contact her again. Seriously. She's cheating on you, playing with your emotions and using you to buy her stuff while her boss bangs her. No girl is worth that. 1
veggirl Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Um did I read that correctly, she has cheated more than once in UNDER A YEAR?! dude. Tell her to KICK ROCKS and ignore ANY attempt she makes at contact. Seriously. Absolutely pathetic. You are hanging around doing whatever she tells you to do ("jump!" "okay! how high?!") and she has NO respect for you. Your OP was hard to read, you should be in therapy working on your massive self esteem issues. This chick knows you are desperate for her and she can do what she damn well pleases cause you have no self respect and will accept whatever breadcrumbs she throws your way. She will never be faithful to you because you don't command that kind of respect. You don't respect yourself enough to GET a faithful girl! Edited February 13, 2014 by veggirl 1
Mr.Mango Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 The pain you'll feel from ending it permanently now, will be nothing compared to what it could escalate into.
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