lawsmatt Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 when we started dating we were having sex a decent amount,but now 9 months later its tailed off. im worried its cuz she has lost physical attractiveness in me or is losing interest She has been on anxiety medication and a few others though and one time she told me that she just lost her sex drive from the medication but i don't know if thats true or if she is losing interest. everything semms fine between us. contact is the same just not as much sex
pteromom Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 How much sex were you having, and how much has it tapered off? Some decrease in sex is normal as a relationship moves out of the "honeymoon phase".
central Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 A number of things may help in giving advice. First, how old are you, and why does she need these meds? Also, are the meds likely to be temporary, or a long-term need? How great a loss in frequency of sex are you talking about? If you're young and in a relationship this new, 4 or 5x a week is typical - maybe even more. How did your desires compare before the meds? Were you matched well, or did one of you have a higher drive? Mismatched drives are a common, and most often an insoluble problem - it really does not get better for the vast majority. Add in libido-killing meds, and you have to really evaluate how good this relationship is if this can't be resolved, such as by her going off the meds. Many psychoactive medications adversely affect the libido, so she is probably right about that.
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Its probably the meds. Have her talk to her doctor about it and there may be an easy fix. 1
Author lawsmatt Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 A number of things may help in giving advice. First, how old are you, and why does she need these meds? Also, are the meds likely to be temporary, or a long-term need? How great a loss in frequency of sex are you talking about? If you're young and in a relationship this new, 4 or 5x a week is typical - maybe even more. How did your desires compare before the meds? Were you matched well, or did one of you have a higher drive? Mismatched drives are a common, and most often an insoluble problem - it really does not get better for the vast majority. Add in libido-killing meds, and you have to really evaluate how good this relationship is if this can't be resolved, such as by her going off the meds. Many psychoactive medications adversely affect the libido, so she is probably right about that. Well I'm 24, she is 20. She has anxiety issues, from her mom passing away and having to deal with her dad. When we first got together we were having sex 2-3 a week, now maybe 1 every 2-3 weeks i even asked one time why the sex had slowed down so much. she said she just didn't have a sex drive anymore, the medicine has killed it. i asked if it was because of me and she said no in fact the last time we had sex, i had my shirt off,(i have back hair which i hate) and she said something like let me see your back. i said no i hate my back hair and she said babe, you are sexy! soo i don't know lol
Poppygoodwill Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I have taken anti-anxiety meds and I can assure you they do impact on your sex drive. It just sort of disappears and you don't even notice it's gone. Also, anxiety itself is a killer of libido. If she's been having more anxiety lately, that might be also getting in the way. I caution that your'e taking it personally when it might be entirely about her. You might initiate a conversation about how you two can be intimate without it being all sexy time, or ask if there are things you can do while she's in this state that will help bring her out of it? For instance, I found that normal stimulation on the clitoris didn't do much for me, such was the cotton wool blanket of meds on my physical body. But a small vibrator applied directly did make a big difference, so my bf at the time integrated that into our sessions. Sometimes it just needs a bit of imagination and confidence. I do think though if anxiety is a chronic problem for her and she'll be on long term meds, you should think seriously if this is the situation for you. If her sex drive will always be lower than yours and it will lead to disharmony, then maybe this isn't a great fit. No one's fault, just one of those things. 1
ingalls Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) I have taken anti-anxiety meds and I can assure you they do impact on your sex drive. It just sort of disappears and you don't even notice it's gone. Also, anxiety itself is a killer of libido. If she's been having more anxiety lately, that might be also getting in the way. I caution that your'e taking it personally when it might be entirely about her. You might initiate a conversation about how you two can be intimate without it being all sexy time, or ask if there are things you can do while she's in this state that will help bring her out of it? For instance, I found that normal stimulation on the clitoris didn't do much for me, such was the cotton wool blanket of meds on my physical body. But a small vibrator applied directly did make a big difference, so my bf at the time integrated that into our sessions. Sometimes it just needs a bit of imagination and confidence. I do think though if anxiety is a chronic problem for her and she'll be on long term meds, you should think seriously if this is the situation for you. If her sex drive will always be lower than yours and it will lead to disharmony, then maybe this isn't a great fit. No one's fault, just one of those things. I agree. It likely is her anxiety Edited February 13, 2014 by ingalls errors
pteromom Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 She has anxiety issues, from her mom passing away and having to deal with her dad. How long has it been since her mom passed away? That can certainly be a libido-killer.
Mr.Mango Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Most likely the pills. Drugs that are meant to treat anxiety/depression/etc. have always ranked high in sexual side effects (depreciation). Not to mention that anxiety/depression itself reduces sex drive. It's sort of the worst combo for sex, but obviously anxiety is an all-around problem. Like others have said, weigh the importance of your options. Her anxiety most likely needs to decrease for her to live an all together more pleasant life.
todreaminblue Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Well I'm 24, she is 20. She has anxiety issues, from her mom passing away and having to deal with her dad. When we first got together we were having sex 2-3 a week, now maybe 1 every 2-3 weeks i even asked one time why the sex had slowed down so much. she said she just didn't have a sex drive anymore, the medicine has killed it. i asked if it was because of me and she said no in fact the last time we had sex, i had my shirt off,(i have back hair which i hate) and she said something like let me see your back. i said no i hate my back hair and she said babe, you are sexy! soo i don't know lol speaking from experience medication for anxiety or depression effect your sex drive so do anti psychotics in some people it heightens libido in others it decreases libido its a mixed bag of possibility...if i were you i would believe her.....stress can also lessens libido if she is stressed, being touched may be the last thing she needs iof she si the type to want to retreat and destress.......so good luck ...hang in there.......tell her to talk to her doctor about effects it may be having on your relationship maybe they can lessen the dose or change the meds....best wishes....deb
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