Greyguitar Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Hi there, I'll preface by saying this is likely to turn into a long post but I'll try to keep it concise. I'm a male in my late 20s, and have been dating a girl (a year younger than me) for the past four months or so. We met through a few loosely mutual friends and instantly hit it off big time. The first time we met for coffee, having never really spoken before, we spent almost 8 hours chatting and both parted feeling something more than expected. There's a few interesting details to the story I feel I should include. Initially, we lived a couple hours apart, although (by nothing more than coincidence) I had just accepted a job in the city she lived in and was moving there shortly. Fast forward a month or two and we'd been seeing more and more of each other, clearly feeling an immense mutual attraction and honestly, things were fantastic. Well, they still are. I'm no stranger to relationships, even the odd longer term partnership but from the outset, I can safely say I have never felt like this about anyone else. I'm as sure as I can be that the feeling is mutual. At the risk of sounding awfully sentimental, when a girl looks into your eyes and speaks of her feelings with genuine conviction, it's difficult not to accept them as genuine. Now I'm not sure if this will raise eyebrows, but just under 5 months later, the L word has been discussed and I'm in no doubt this is love... We have also just moved in together. When I was making the transition to the new city, I spent a few weeks at a time 'living' at her old place and despite only being together for a small amount of time, we seemed to be able to do the whole 'living' thing very well. Again, that hasn't changed. We've been living together for a little while now and things are quite frankly still getting better. However, I've got some concerns. Not with her... with me. Some little niggles that are bothering me. I had a week off work to sort some home improvements and be around for construction workers to carry out some work and I began to feel a weird sensation of clingyness. Even though I knew my girlfriend would be home late afternoon, or that I'd maybe meet her at lunch or whatever, I'd almost begin to 'miss' her as soon as she walked out the door. I then began to feel like I was experiencing a level of 'needyness' and 'clingyness', and whilst I certainly don't think I've expressed this outwardly, I'm concerned that a) she'll notice this behaviour and get worried, and b) these feelings could lead to problems if they are genuine and progress. This is an intentional exaggeration but I just feel almost 'obsessed' with her. I'm obviously not obsessed, but I think about her a lot and I just feel overwhelmed with attraction to her whenever we're together. I suppose I shouldn't complain because things really are great. I genuinely don't think I have ever been so happy in all my life, maybe there's an element of fear, that it will all come crashing down! Are these normal feelings? If anyone has any suggestions on how to best deal with them or feelings to be wary of, that'd be much appreciated. Thanks
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Well someone's loved up! :-) its normal just dont show the clingyness on the outside x 2
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Relax! That's a good thing. First, to be with someone that long and still have that excitement is wonderful. It's even better that you recognize your clingy-nature, that will help you realize when it's a bit too much. Depending on your relationship, you might want to talk to her about how much you care about her but understand everyone needs a little space and if you are too clingy, for her to tell you. That you love her and want to be with her as much as possible but respect her. I'd love to miss someone whenever she walks out the door - that's what we all want, isn't it?
Author Greyguitar Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Thank you for the replies. Relieved to hear these feelings are somewhat normal. As I said, the best thing about all of this to me is that she feels the same way. I'm sure that also drives my feelings further but to recognize by just her expression and demeanour that she is clearly feeling the same way is a beautiful thing. Another reassuring occurrence is that it isn't a non-stop whirlwind of passionate emotion fuelled only by the excitement of the 'honeymoon period'. We can totally have a few 'normal' days too, where we behave in a more 'everyday' kinda manner, but we always seem to fall back to a moment of realisation of just how strong the underlying feelings are... Apologies if I sound rather candid and a little sickly-sweet, I think HeartbrokenNewbie probably summed it up.
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 if anything, we are jealous. Sounds like an amazing relationship and if she feels the same...you got it all, buddy. Go with it, and enjoy..don't think about it (coming from me, that's funny).
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