Deleted & blcocked him for Good.. Feeling different..

[crazybestie101]

First of all , i don't believe in blocking/unblocking game because its too silly. But i sense that my ex think that " time heals everything and i will forget everything and will finally forgive him" And he doesn't need to apologize for his behavior. Where as i think that i will never ever forget what he did and will NEVER forgive him. I am very sure and firm on this. Thus , to follow this i blocked him on FB and then realized its stupid so i unblocked him. I will block him again. All i want him to know that " i hate your guts and i will never forgive you" even after i have moved on and married to someone else. I am on verge of blocking him everywhere and ready to do whatever it takes to show hatred . I know its bad and completely not worth it. But my mind cant stop racing and just want to take revenge. Mind you , i don't want this guy any more but just want to have revenge..

[pickflicker]

No, what you're doing is silly. Wanting revenge is silly. You've been broken up with him longer than you were together. Smarten up, block him, and be done with this. Your behaviour is ridiculous.

 

And you do want him back. If you didn't, you wouldn't care this much.

[barky2]

Want revenge?

 

Live your life happily without him.

 

But live it for you, not for him.

 

Silence tells a lot.

 

Block him.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[crazybestie101]

So many of you know my ongoing tale... After "denial" phase of not accepting that he is never coming back and trying all the tricks and games to get him back. I am finally DONE! I never wanted to block him because i thought it was silly but i was so tired of FB stalking and seeing his name on my phone. I finally blocked him everywhere. Needless to say his bday is in 8 days..I am not going to write him anything for sure( very firm on this).I am sure he is going to wonder. After NC of 3 months or more , I am feeling better and better everyday , have been talking to one guy and getting lot of attention from others.

 

Well , meeting those new guys started in 2014.. My early months of NC were just terrible , life seems impossible to live. Cant believe a guy who was head over heels , guy who never make me sad , guy who cant see me cry is finally GONE and careless about how i am. Honestly, in real terms this break up has taught me a LOT. I started to love myself rather than being dependent on guy for my happiness. It made me better person because i start realizing value of people i have around me. When i was with him , i was just with him most of my time. I made myself rules of whats acceptable and what's not. I got new job , studying well , getting fit and meeting new people. In real meaning , i understood how people are and how they take dating.

 

I learned to have life of my own. I learned a lot about Men and their mentality. I learned "never settle for less". Honestly , now the guys i am talking to , i am taking one step at time . I am very chill & open to all posibilities. Let me put it this way : i am very practical now. Most importantly , i am enjoying my single life .. Loving all attention from guys haha... BIG thanks to LS and its community. Okay , i would like to thank everyone who helped me , apology if i missed your name. Special thanks simon phoenix, barky, ohthatgirl, confusedhumanbeing, raddraggon,aspiringheroin,BC3180,mtkbiker, pick.. and all others , cant remember names.

 

Lastly , i would say to all who has been suffering , one day you will all feel like i do now. Just hang in there for your sanity. Don't do something foolish. Until last months, i was counting on days that he will reach out today, tomorrow or next week, But i guess he is never coming back. If you are doing NC in hope of getting back together, you are sooo wrong , will end up hurting. Leave hope , stop wasting time, start living your life. The moment you won't care , they will realize. and what if they won't realize who cares.. By that time , you have learned from this experience , will be to apply all this to next person.

 

I wish well to all of you. Lets hope we all meet that dream partner one day & will be happy forever ever after..

Edited February 13, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[OhThatGirl]

Oh dear.

 

I wish I could be happy for you and say encouraging things but... You're in denial. 2 days ago you posted another thread about how you will never forgive him, you want to get revenge and show him you hate him, you can't believe that he said with time you would be able to get over this.

 

It doesn't happen like this. You don't feel anger and resentment 2 days ago to being magically cured today. Why you're still feeling anger and resentment this far out is anyone's guess. You should be at indifference and happiness and looking forward to what's ahead of you... But you're not. Know how I know this? You're still saying things like "a guy that was head over heels... Who is now careless of how I am..." In true recovery from a breakup you already accept those things. You already see that intense feelings of attachment have you thinking and saying wonderful things ("being head over heels") and when issues arise and people feel differently, those thoughts and feelings change.

 

WHY are you so angry? Haven't you ever had interest in someone (either a relationship or a crush) and at some point recognized that you yourself don't see the same future with that person that you did while in the midst of the relationship/crush? It's not unheard of for someone to change their mind about a relationship... Especially after a 3 month long distance relationship!

 

I'm happy you're feeling better. The things youve described (working on yourself, school, work, social life) are all steps in the right direction. But the fact that you just blocked this guy (finally!!) and are just now vowing to strict NC (finally!!) mean that you're not healed. You've only just begun. Acknowledge that.

 

It should not have taken you this long (seeeeriously.. More than 9 months to get over a 3 month relationship?) but it's never too late to start moving on. Stick with the positive things you've mentioned. Strict NC. Build up a couple close friends. And let this go. Please. For you.

 

Meanwhile, one more thing.. As you are so clearly not in the stage of indifference and being past this relationship, tread incredibly carefully with any new guys. The fact it is taking THIS long to get over a 3 month thing, and that you still don't see how unhealthy that is, means you are primed to continue doing harm to yourself in the area of romantic interests. It's very possible you will roll over all the feelings you still haven't managed into a new situation with a new guy and it will be a disaster. Like a bigger disaster than this 9 months of dwelling resentment.

 

For now, avoid other guys. Just focus on you. You'll know when you're ready to date again because you will say something like this: "Wow guys. I haven't been on LS for a few months and I just read my old posts. I was crazy to carry on being so broken up about that guy for so long. Now I can't even remember what his name is."

 

Until you get there, avoid getting into anything new with someone else. You DO NOT NEED male attention for validation. Got it? You do not need a guy to love you. The best women never do.

 

Think about this. And you're welcome btw.

Edited February 13, 2014 by OhThatGirl

[crazybestie101]

Oh dear.

 

I wish I could be happy for you and say encouraging things but... You're in denial. 2 days ago you posted another thread about how you will never forgive him, you want to get revenge and show him you hate him, you can't believe that he said with time you would be able to get over this.

 

It doesn't happen like this. You don't feel anger and resentment 2 days ago to being magically cured today. Why you're still feeling anger and resentment this far out is anyone's guess. You should be at indifference and happiness and looking forward to what's ahead of you... But you're not. Know how I know this? You're still saying things like "a guy that was head over heels... Who is now careless of how I am..." In true recovery from a breakup you already accept those things. You already see that intense feelings of attachment have you thinking and saying wonderful things ("being head over heels") and when issues arise and people feel differently, those thoughts and feelings change.

 

WHY are you so angry? Haven't you ever had interest in someone (either a relationship or a crush) and at some point recognized that you yourself don't see the same future with that person that you did while in the midst of the relationship/crush? It's not unheard of for someone to change their mind about a relationship... Especially after a 3 month long distance relationship!

 

I'm happy you're feeling better. The things youve described (working on yourself, school, work, social life) are all steps in the right direction. But the fact that you just blocked this guy (finally!!) and are just now vowing to strict NC (finally!!) mean that you're not healed. You've only just begun. Acknowledge that.

 

It should not have taken you this long (seeeeriously.. More than 9 months to get over a 3 month relationship?) but it's never too late to start moving on. Stick with the positive things you've mentioned. Strict NC. Build up a couple close friends. And let this go. Please. For you.

 

Meanwhile, one more thing.. As you are so clearly not in the stage of indifference and being past this relationship, tread incredibly carefully with any new guys. The fact it is taking THIS long to get over a 3 month thing, and that you still don't see how unhealthy that is, means you are primed to continue doing harm to yourself in the area of romantic interests. It's very possible you will roll over all the feelings you still haven't managed into a new situation with a new guy and it will be a disaster. Like a bigger disaster than this 9 months of dwelling resentment.

 

For now, avoid other guys. Just focus on you. You'll know when you're ready to date again because you will say something like this: "Wow guys. I haven't been on LS for a few months and I just read my old posts. I was crazy to carry on being so broken up about that guy for so long. Now I can't even remember what his name is."

 

Until you get there, avoid getting into anything new with someone else. You DO NOT NEED male attention for validation. Got it? You do not need a guy to love you. The best women never do.

 

Think about this. And you're welcome btw.

 

Sorry,but i will completely ignore your message this time. Because I really dont want to hear what happened in past , its done its gone. I am very emotional person so it took me while to get over him. Most importantly, I don't weigh relationship based on time. About anger , yes i have it and continue to have it. Yes , i do still think of him time to time but i can feel him being distant memory. Yes , relationships are not perfect and can break any moment. Heard it and know it. But you don't purposely mislead person because that's just WRONG! Anyways , i don't want to get into that discussion. Its useless. I really don't want to over analyze this situation any more because i don't care.I am sure many of dumpees here still hates their dumpers secretively even after years of moving on. It's just my personal choice that i will never forgive him , that doesn't mean i will stop living my life. In fact , i have already started. I will repeat again " i really don't want to think on this story any more." Before this guy i was on & off with other guy for 3 years. I wasn't this attached with guy that i was with my current ex. I wasn't as crazy after breakup. That guy just got married and got in touch with me. We are cool because he didnt act like complete looser. End of story , no more discussion on this. Thank again for you support..

Edited February 13, 2014 by crazybestie101

[FailedFirstLove]

With my older ex I don't actually hate him or anything... There was a point I did but now I don't really mind... We were totally wrong for each other nut he was a good friend... His not what I want in a guy but I hope his doing well, if his not them oh wells his problem...

 

Somehow I feel that your at the point of indifference yet. I was at that point once where I was saying it's ok I'm all good now, but now i see that I really wasn't... It was only when I didn't say it and stopped thinking about it completely that I realize I was over it.. Actions speak louder than words basically.. It's not about saying "yep I'm done" but more so just doing it and forgetting it for real.

 

But it's good that your making progress, keep going !

 

Lol I, so confused but u posted a thread? And then you say you don't want to think about it. But probably the best. Good luck!

[crazybestie101]

With my older ex I don't actually hate him or anything... There was a point I did but now I don't really mind... We were totally wrong for each other nut he was a good friend... His not what I want in a guy but I hope his doing well, if his not them oh wells his problem...

 

Somehow I feel that your at the point of indifference yet. I was at that point once where I was saying it's ok I'm all good now, but now i see that I really wasn't... It was only when I didn't say it and stopped thinking about it completely that I realize I was over it.. Actions speak louder than words basically.. It's not about saying "yep I'm done" but more so just doing it and forgetting it for real.

 

But it's good that your making progress, keep going !

 

Lol I, so confused but u posted a thread? And then you say you don't want to think about it. But probably the best. Good luck!

 

 

Lol , yeah life changes every moment Well , i made that post 2 days back and again i made new post yesterday but i guess LS moderator combined two posts all together. Btw , thank you for posting..