superb Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I've posted recently about my breakup. It's been on and off and we were suffering from distance. I love him, yes. I know he's going to travel for work...and have told him I'd stay beside him and see how things go. However, he had different plans and decided to come home...twenty minutes away, and carry out this very big and elaborate lie about being in another state instead. Everyday, lie over lie over lie...until I called him out. Then he confessed saying he didn't know how to break up with me...WTF? Thought he loved me, it's been a horrible week. He's still in town, very near....texts me, some nice...some mean. Saying he feels deep seeded hatred for me now because of his emotional attachment to me. That he lied because he loves me too much? Obviously I am shocked and totally upset. I feel like there must be more to this story but he insists distance is killing him and the only reason behind it. I've never had a ldr before, I don't think this is normal behavior though. How can he be twenty minutes from the woman he loves and not want to be near her before he really leaves? And wtf is wrong with me that I even this behavior? Does l.o.v.e really make people insane?
justwhoiam Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 How can he be twenty minutes from the woman he loves and not want to be near her before he really leaves? Because he broke up with her and seems just fair to leave her alone? It's not a good idea to meet up after a break up when the two are still in love with one another. Because feelings are still there and things happen. And rationally, you don't want them to happen, or they'll hurt even more. And wtf is wrong with me that I even this behavior? I don't know what's wrong with you, because I don't know you. But, you were NC with this man last month. Who broke up NC? Does l.o.v.e really make people insane? In some cases. Is this the man who: 1. was well in his 30s and used to date 19 year-old girls? 2. had trust issues with you? Like e.g. he needed proof of your work schedules? 3. accused you of talking to other men on the side? (he might have had some ground, as an ex contacted you and you responded) I'd say you'd need to check a bit about the guy you're going to date BEFORE you get into anything with him, and I suggest you have like a trial period during which you don't have sex with him, just to make sure he's after you for the right reasons... that way you'd get rid of people that are not suitable for you. You also have 5 kids to raise on your own, and I suspect it won't be easy to find a man good for you. It'll probably take time.
Author superb Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Yeah this is the same man. He broke NC last month claiming he still wanted to be with me. All week we've been going back and forth and it's been ridiculous. I asked him to stop contacting me last night....he seems to be trying to friend zone me and wants to keep in touch but I'm not capable. I removed myself from Facebook and have no other methods to contact him other than by phone. So I'm going NC again. I know I can do this, it's just been incredibly difficult with him sendingemotional goodbye texts everyday. You're right. I have other things to worry about.
mammasita Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 Why are you asking him to stop contacting you? BLOCK HIM. you're in control, not him. 1
Author superb Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 I'm blocking him now. I know later I'll be able to pass the same advice on to someone else but when you're immediately involved it's easier said than done. I need to stop thinking with emotion and look at the facts. Thanks guys/gals.
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