Golden Cobra Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone, this is just a follow up to a breakup I went through six months back. You can see the details fresh after the break up here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/426311-what-happened-please-help-me-if-you-can (it turns out the guy was not a biker, more just a guy with a bike) My girlfriend of 10 years, did a midnight move and broke up with me. It was not all her fault in the relationship ending, but I was in the dark about most of the breakup. She ended up in another relationship, before she broke up with me (for her own reasons). I also found out, she was spending nights at his house, while I was away at school trying to better our lives and relationship (I wanted to go to counseling and was talking about marriage with her). To make a long story short, we still spent time with each other since the break up, and were seriously talking about trying to make it work again. She seems sincere in her motives. But just when I thought I was out of the thorn bush, I found out she was talking with one of my friends through Facebook. She said she was interested in one of his posts and asked to go for a drink to discuss the subject in further detail (granted the stuff might not be something to be discussed over FB, not bad stuff, just world views). She gave him her cell number, and he got back to her saying he's going to be back in a couple of weeks, and they could do so. She also told me I could go talk to him one on one about it (he would give me the truth, I know for a fact from previous situations with other friends) It's not that I cant walk away from this situation, as I can easily move on from here out, it's just she was not really friends with him, while we were going out, and they never started talking until after we broke up. I don't/never have trusted him, because of other situations with other friends he was involved in. I had a gut feeling when she came over that something was not right, and wanted to see her facebook, she said there was nothing to worry about, and said no to me seeing it. I insisted, so she obliged. That's when I found it all. I said this stuff bothered me and I felt like I wanted to speak to him about it, she never tried to stop me saying she honestly only wanted to have a BS with him. But from a guys point of view, I know if a girl asks to go have a drink with them, that he has a good chance of furthering things (good times). What to think of that, I don't know? She also said if I wanted to, that we could both go for a drink and talk, as I have the same interest in conversation. So my question for you all is, should I still try and make it work? She tells me to go talk to him, and they have never hung out or communicated until recently. She says she's still in love with me (I believe her when she says it), and I am her true soul mate. She says she loves me and nobody else. What are your thoughts or opinions on what I should do, and what you feel her intentions are with myself and/or my so called snake buddy. Also should I still talk to my buddy when he gets into town next (I think he would be honest with me), before I make my decision? We do still love each other, that part is apparent. Thanks for any help/time you kind souls might have to help a guy out. The Golden Cobra Edited February 12, 2014 by Golden Cobra
d0cholliday Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Tell your friend to ditch her, if he is a true friend, he will do that. After that you will see what kind of person is he. Either he will ditch her, or he will proceed without you knowing about it. Happened to me once or twice, I don't count it. Imagine your exes reaction if you went out on drinks with her girlfriend, I bet she wouldn't like it. She says she loves you, that's great, why aren't you together then? I've seen so called big love dissapears in a month and a half, experienced it, also read stories etc. Maybe I'm just too careful now. Being loved is a great feeling. Everyone loves it. Only a woman can make you feel that way, at least they say... But sadly a woman can take love away, and it hurts like a bitch. Do what your heart tells you, what you feel is right. But be careful, cause you can find out you're being played by a girl who loves you, and a guy who is supposed to be your friend. At somepoint the truth will presented it self to you, sometimes it takes time, as it always does. Hope for the best, expect the worst, or be prepared for it.
Author Golden Cobra Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Yeah, I was only hoping to get the truth to what was happening. I know he would be truthful about it, and I would be alright with i t, and could easily walk, it's not like there is not other women to drown my sorrows with. I know nothings happened between them, he is in another Province right now. but am defiantly approaching with caution. I know how pissed she wold get, if the roles were reversed. I don't play that game though, I would just walk. She knows she is on thin ice, so it's her that has to worry not me, I can handle moving on, and get on with my life. The first sniff of trouble and I'm out!!! hahaha. I live in a small place, so no doubt, if anything ever happened, I would find out about it in the end. Thanks for your time/advice dOc, I will defiantly follow the closing points you made. Regards, Cobra
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