mg678 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I'm a 30 y/o guy. A girl I've been dating just told me by text that she thinks I'm a great person and she had a lot of fun with me but we're not a match. I was surprised, because when I saw her last weekend she seemed very into me, we had good conversations, and she was initiating physical contact. We hadn't had sex yet (she's more traditional and told me she wanted to wait). I was somewhat surprised she wanted to break up, and can't quite figure out the reason. I noticed that she was slightly more nervous on this last date than previous ones, and she told me she was inexperienced with dating in general. What are some reasons women break off dating after 5 dates? Usually when someone doesn't like me she will break it off after 1 or 2 dates, 3 at the most. So, it seems strange to me.
HappyLove Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I would text her and say. Thanks for letting me know and not stringing me along. I'd like to be better in the future for the next person I may meet, so could you honestly tell me anything I may have done wrong that perhaps made us not click. Again I do respect your wishes, this is solely to help me learn and do better. Thank you. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 It could be a million reasons. Why not ask her?
BradJacobs Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Does it really matter? What turned her off may turn on the next one.
HappyLove Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Does it really matter? What turned her off may turn on the next one. True, but it seems like he really wants to know and that's the only way your gonna find out.
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Well, she said she didn't think you were a match. Sounds like she gave a reason. Why prolong the inevitable? Is another reason necessary? 2
Joaquin Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 She had a better option. One of those options may have been she just wanted stay single. Either way she chose not to be with you. It really doesn't matter.
Gaeta Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 5 dates you were not exclusive so she had another prospect and he felt more compatible to her. That's what dating is for, don't be offended. At least she told you. Men usually just stop calling with no explanation. I usually know on a 3rd date if I am into the guy. If I drop someone after 5 dates it's because sex was not what I expected, sorry.
pyramid Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 So we're required to be locked in after 2-3 dates? I dumped a guy after about a month bc he was being too pushy about sex and it was a huge turn off. You also learn a little more by that point about someone's life, maybe you disclosed something she wasn't cool with. Doesn't have to be anything major. She may have been on the fence about you and was giving it a few extra chances. 1
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 After what date was the I am traditional and want to wait thing said? Probably date 3 I would guess. The waiting this is usually all BS anyway. Women break their rules all the time then they just find a way to justify it so it didnt count. Hang out with more women friends they are much more cunning and devious then we are. Anyway, she went home and talked to her friends. Told them she really likes you but doesn't know if shes going to sleep with you. This again is BS she knew after the first date. Her friends talked her into giving you another chance or two. By the 5th date she decided once and for all that it was never going to happen. And boom your done... Somehow you didn't bring enough sex appeal to the party. My advice is learn to kiss and dance really well. Those two things will punch a lot of tickets to the bedroom for you.
Shosh Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I think she was probably on the fence about you and decided to give it a few chances to see if her feelings changed. Since she seemed extra nervous on the last date, she probably knew going in that this was probably going to be the last date, and nothing on the date happened that changed her mind, so she ended it. Don't think you did something wrong, she must have liked you if she went out with you 5 times, just not enough to be in a relationship with you. While it might hurt right now, it is probably for the best because she could have kept going out with you without being sure about you and you could have gotten more attached. Better to end it sooner rather than later.
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 You can ask her but she's probably not going to tell you. It could be that she found somebody she likes better. She could be scared. You could have inadvertently stuck your foot in your mouth. It could be because today has a Y in it. She may not even be able to verbalize why but simply knew something was off. Point is, she doesn't want to continue. Why isn't that big of a deal.
soccerrprp Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I agree with others. Don't bother asking, but I understand you're wanting to know. If people were willing to give an HONEST assessment, I think we'd all like to know. She may have been giving you a little more time. That would have been nice of her if true. She may have found someone else she finds more attractive, suitable. Move on and try not to think too much about it. 1
Author mg678 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Thanks everyone for your advice. I've decided not to ask, since it's fairly unlikely that I will find out the exact reason, or like someone said maybe she doesn't even know the exact reason. So, better to move on. Maybe the best lesson to learn is that dating requires a thick skin, and try not to fall apart every time something bad happens. This gets pretty difficult sometimes, because I think in my darkest moments or after dates with several women in a row doesn't go well then I wonder if there's something fundamentally wrong with my personality. But, then again, I'm pretty successful in most other things, so hopefully I'll be ok and find somebody who I like and who likes me in the long run. 1
mrs rubble Posted February 14, 2014 Posted February 14, 2014 The thing that stood out to me in your post, is that SHE initiated the physical contact on the 5th date. I think LEEVIT2F8 is on the right track. I think she wanted more physically from you by date 5.
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