Zyl Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) Hi Ladies and gents from Australia ! =) I first of all want to mention that I'm surely posting this topic as I'm knowing quite stressful period of the time and I've been sick for few days which turned me mad as I always tend to have something to do, I just can't stand in place doing nothing and it uses to push me to over-think abnormally. Well, I guess it's a good thing at least to know our self and assume our pros as much as our strength. I've got recently a date with a very smart and charming woman from internet who was obviously not seeking something casual at all. To be entirely honest I wasn't even expecting she would accept to meet up straight forward after I did suggest her. Our first date was brilliant we did chat a lot, we did smile so much each other, I'm not cocky, I tend to be modest and I've been on dates with numerous girls and women so I think I've got enough experience to spot if I've got a chance or not and if the person I'm seeing is interested by me or not. There were tons of signs of interests from her side. I was so pleased and it was so unexpected as well so I stood natural as always anyway and I did follow my instinct by suggesting in the middle of our first date if she would be up for a dinner. I've noticed she is extremely well organized and seems to have somewhat busy planning as she did get out from her bag a massive agenda, I wasn't unable to not laugh nervously as I've never seen such a big one but I did appreciate that as I'm not a big fan of messy and wish-washy person. To resume I was impressed. We did fix very quickly our second date for a dinner. After this first date it was obvious this lovely woman is very independent and cares a lot of her freedom even if she did mention that she's looking for something serious which I do not really mind, I'd rather prefer that as I'm as well enjoying have my own time on my side and I'm very solicited everywhere from my friends, colleagues and I like to try new things, going to some events, etc ... So I was more likely thinking "Nice someone very cute, smart, not clingy and not really into rushing relationship". For all the relationship I had so far I confess to have been very rarely with the type of woman where you need first to be a friend before to imagine anything else or beyond. I wouldn't think that I'm wrong that she's more likely that type of woman. Our second date while having a dinner was somewhat special, everything went well, we did talk a lot we did have some physical contact, we were keep smiling to each other but for some reason I've got a weirdo perception of time and she did as well as we were extremely surprised that it was still very early after we ended our dinner. It did last no more than an hour and half without rushing to it. As it was still early she kindly proposed me if I was willing to kill the time with her before to go home as she was intended to go home too as she got plenty of things to do the day after but not too early. She told me she had party organized by some her friends but not all of them are, they're more like buddies than "true" friends so I did understand quickly that she was trying to make me understand that she doesn't guarantee anything about the fact that it can be funny like it could be pretty annoying. That was done in so cute way from her She did ask to her friend if there was still a party and if she wouldn't mind an extra guest. She did got a quick feedback that it was all right so we did go :-) We did go to that place. I wasn't feeling at my ease (who would be entirely heh?) as there were tons of people and I didn't know anybody at all excepted her, however I'm very social and I do have the weirdo skill to attract people to have a conversation even by being shy and stoned lol, so I had a few interesting talks with somewhat people during that night and I did enjoy it. She did tell me that she was tired and probably leave soon, I did tell her the same as I was starting to be extremely tired. I had to leave her unfortunately earlier as it was starting to be late and I was clearly starting to yawn too often. If I wasn't that tired, I would have stood longer for sure. So before to leave her I did tell her that I'm leaving and I did thank her for this nice follow up plan and I did tell her that I'm aware how busy she is for the next incoming days/weeks and whenever she wants to meet up to not hesitate to let me know. She did tell me straight away she will definitely give me a shout when she will have some decent time. For some reasons we might exchange 1~2 texts few days later but it was more likely just in order to know how is it going, nothing really special we can say. And now after that 10 days passed and no news at all from her. I didn't try to call her or text her after that. 1st date I did invite her for few drinks. She did suggest the place as I did want her suggestion as she knows better than me the area. 2nd date I did invite for her dinner. I assumed everything as it's me who invited her and I'm a gentleman so there was no f**** way that I'll let her pay when it's me who invited her and I'm clearly not a cheap (I have them in horror lol). It sounds obvious that I've got a crush on her but I'm bit surprised that she wouldn't give some tiny signs even if she's busy. And it sounds unfair that I try to run after her after all. I think I've done enough on my side at the moment and far away from me to sound needy simply because I'm recently very nervous. I highly even suspect that if I try to contact her on my own it would be even worse as It did sound very obvious she cares a lot about her own freedom regardless if she's looking for something serious. The thing is I'm the same but I clearly have the feeling that I've been tricked compared to her as I'm starting to be intrigued when it basically never happens to me. Well it's never 50-50 after all, you can have mutual interested but a perfect 50-50 it doesn't exist unless for those who still believe in Santa ha ha ;-) I might be worried for nothing and the recent experiences around that and the lot of pressure I've known might have an impact on my current unexpected behavior from myself. Valentine day there is clearly no way I'm gonna do something as we've seen each other only a couple of times after all and even if if you'd think it would have been a good idea she did tell me already she will be on visit to her family to Netherlands that day and the rest of the week end while she did talk about that on her own during our dinner. Thinking about that, we've got a very funny talk about that crap (I mean VD). She's clearly an anti-conformist. That's another bonus in my point of view I do like a lot original people x) I don't believe in astrology crap even if I confess that some personal traits are true but that's it. Science is imperfect and if that crap was entirely true, life would have been boring as hell for a while already For the superstitious and those who believes in that, I hope you're not offended. She's water-bearer for your information if you're curious about it. What do you think ? I'm not really seeking for advices or recommendations but I wouldn't mind to get some even if I'll go my own way anyway . Maybe more interested by simply your point of view. My mind is clearly not working as usual with this recent roller-coaster rhythm of life I'm knowing since this new year ^^ Many thanks for reading ! Edited February 12, 2014 by Zyl
scooby-philly Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 @ZYL You sound pretty normal and balanced. It's a healthy thing to be thinking what your thinking. She obviously made time for you and wanted to keep it going so she invited you to the party. That's pretty nice. There's nothing wrong with being needy. We all have moments. It's a question of staying needy all the time. Independence is good. But eventually, two people build a real life together by coming together and sharing and making compromises. Yes, it's early on, but 10 days later and no contact? That's not good. Many guys and women coast through life in terms of relationship because they're mildly to above average on the looks ladder and mixed with a modicum of intelligence, can get lots of dates. That's not a knock against them, but eventually you have to decide who you are and what you want. Remember it's easier to talk the talk. People can say "they want a relationship" but that doesn't mean their actions are actually aligned to one - or they're aligned to whatever misguided form of relationship they're used to. Again, that's not a knock. But, long lasting, healthy, and life-giving relationships bring people together and into a deep relationship. It sounds a little bit - just going by your words, that you obviously have feelings for her and want something you're not getting.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 If it has been ten straight days with zero contact, she's not interested. If she were interested in taking things further she'd have been in touch. She's probably thinking the same of you, too. To put your mind at rest, you can call her up and ask her out to dinner. She will either say yes, in which case you can proceed, or no, and then you have your answer... no more anxiety over it. You shouldn't really be feeling this nervous and analysing so much into two dates with a woman who seems rather uninterested, though. That's a long post about something that has barely even began to get off the ground.
Author Zyl Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Wow thank you very much Scooby-Philly and accrosstheuniverse. I wasn't expecting a quick feedback at all Well the very last news I've got so far from her were exactly 7 days ago and I know for a fact that I will probably not have some the next incoming days cause I know she'll be far away for a week. I got the feeling she seems to be very busy as she does 2 jobs as well. She seems to be a very respectful woman so I would have expect straight away something like "sorry I've met somebody else" or "thanks for this lovely time but i don't think it's gonna work" and not something like play the SR like a whim to make me understand to not expect anything at all lol :-P That's the only reason why I'm very doubtful about it. However I can't deny that you could be absolutely right as we just met a couple of times after all. Anyway I'll not text her. If I get some news later that's great. If my mind goes quickly back to safe state, I'll do nothing. Otherwise I'll try one call just to make it clear ;-) When I know some period of stress I tend to lose patience when usually I'm very patient (even too much sometimes lol). Kind of funny ^^ Many thanks again for your prompt feedback Regards, Zyl
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