LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 If you have been following my posts you already know I'm in deep water with this girl I've been seeing. Sunday we had sex for the first time, after a few weekends of fooling around oral etc. This is going to maybe disturb some people but it does need to be included for context. But yeah we went hard and she got to the top of the mountain more then a few times. I'm talking that 6 hours in bed intimate thing. Afterward she is just muttering to herself, "Wow... just wow". One of those cant walk for a half hour, shaky legs, just rubbing your stomach things. I'm sure all the ladies in here know what I'm talking about. Later on in the day she said, "I was hoping it would be bad, but instead it was effing incredible, I may have to quit you". Girl code for I just fell in love with you I need to run now!! Its not my first rodeo... I answered one of her texts at 11:15 Monday (yeah I know pretty late but I was out and didnt see it) in response to her what did you do today text. Basically said I did nothing but I missed her face a little bit. No more texts that night. Today she doesnt text me until almost 10pm. I was actually on the phone getting crazy girl advice about her from another dirty girl. So I didnt answer back for almost an hour. Her text was "my weekend boyfriend it kinda creeps me out when it misses me on tuesday at 1230am i was too tired to even roll my eyes, keep those wannabe emotions to yourself". My response was, "I checked my phone it was 11:15 monday so no party foul involved I checked the rule book, and I just answered your text btw". ME: "I remember a couple 9 am I miss you already texts from you, were those sent in weird moments?" Her: "Yes, very much so". ME: Thats creepy tell me how much more you miss me... are you starting to get a panic pulse or something? HER: Stop doing that! ME: I think our thing is good, im not changing the rules, what do you want? Her: half hour later... What do I want? Thats a broad question. Bunch of witty banter, deflecting and inside sexual jokes ensue. etc ME: I know Sunday changed some things and freaked you out a little its okay...". HER: "Stop flattering yourself especially when I cant kick your ego in the balls". ME: BTW you said you got scared so leave my ego and his balls alone with your anti-hero powers! HER: I just love how you twist things to fit your purpose. ME: You said you hoped it would be bad but it was effing incredible and you may have to quit me. I know what that means... I speak fluent girl... HER: I did say all of that. Your right. I also said it was refreshing and wonderful and playful. Then when I was tired and sore I said I may have to quit you. But now Im all rested up Im ready for next weekend. HER: And you tried to turn that like I found emotion or something... you should know better. ME: I told you Im always good, this weekend is on and you know that... HER:Our friends hate us because we are too much fun. Either we are winning or losing but I think we win all the way! Goodnight angry eyes. ME: Goodnight crazy eyes! But just remember sometimes when you win you really lose! What the hell is she up to here? This is not the usual way it goes down with me. Keep in mind this whole relationship she has driven over 25 hours to see me. Ditched her friends birthday party even when I asked her not to. And has admitted shes scared of falling in love with me on multiple occasions. Texted or called me first every time... Im pretty twisted right now. All my female friends say get out now shes a stage 6 clinger. But it hard to trust them because most of them are still asking me out from time to time. I have real feelings for her, like only once before in my life. I would marry her and travel the globe with her. I just want her to be real and ask me. How do I pull this off without messing it up???
David87 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Just let things cool off a little bit for now. You are doing more harm than good by talking to her.
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 A little background I haven't shared yet which might be useful. I was a world champion professional athlete. She is 26 and I'm 40 but most people guess me at 27/28. She is very successful herself and very beautiful therefore she is very used to being the center of attention at all times. I try to take her to hole in the wall places but still EVERY TIME we have been out at least one person or group has come up to meet me, take a picture or whatever... Its all very embarrassing. I have a horrible sexual past for a woman that is scared of being hurt. As a matter of fact, last Saturday while introducing me to her friends she evoked a confession of an ex stripper I slept with years ago. This wouldnt have been as bad but I didnt remember anything about it. Super embarrassing!! Then the next night a beautiful 19 year old bartender asked me for my number right in front of her! Another really awkward situation... My career and lifestyle put me in contact with young beautiful women every day. I understand why she has some reservations. I have already told her she has a real shot. But she has no clue that if she acts right I will actually give her my last name. So lost...
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Just let things cool off a little bit for now. You are doing more harm than good by talking to her. Thats not going to be possible considering we will spend this weekend together. Im actually thinking of taking her on a trip to Europe to dance under the stars! Venice dancing in a gondola under the stars is amazing and I havent done it in many years. With her I think it might be the thing that heals my heart... My question is how do I get her to trust me? How do I break down this BS wall she has built up because she doesnt believe I really want her?? I wanna type, "Just ask and its all yours!!". Arggg my kids laugh at me and say yeah first world problems dad. LOL
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Any input from women? Or at least guys that have been in a similar situation and at least touched a woman before? LOL
Andy_K Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You're trying to push her to open up at the wrong times. Stop it. Avoid talking emotional via text, it's too easy for her to disguise how she feels. Sometimes, in person, cracks will show. A little comment here and there. Those are the moments to capitalise on to break down the barriers. Use eye contact so she can see you mean what you say and vice versa. You might have to make yourself a little vulnerable first if she is holding the walls up firmly. 1
BradJacobs Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Any input from women? Or at least guys that have been in a similar situation and at least touched a woman before? LOL It's always best to throw out insults when soliciting advice anonymously. You both sound immature. I can see this ending well. 2
blueskyday Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) I understand you like this woman and want to get close to her. That's great! If you really like her, stop being flattered by random 19 year old GIRLS giving you their number. Seems creepy, sorry. Also, it might just be your post, but you seem immature for 40 years old. Maybe you need to date women your own age. Or at least act your age if you date younger. Sometimes hanging out with much younger people can make us feel and act that age. Now, there are many smart and mature young people, but you get what I mean. Have a mix. I am your age by the way. Just treat her as a special woman. No emotional texting as another poster said. Have face to face conversations. Stay out of the bar scene. Show substance. Edited February 12, 2014 by blueskyday 1
oldshirt Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I get the impression you are wanting her to show her cards and set the pace and the tone of the relationship and you follow along if it matches your interests and objectives. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Mother Nature designed us so that it's men that lead the relationship and steer its course and women can either choose to follow or not. You're used to having pssy handed to you so you aren't used to leading actual relationships. It's time to man up and show some leadership if you want this to go somewhere other than just between the sheets. You are going to have to show your cards first and be upfront on where you want to go and what you want to happen. You have to invite her into your world and lead her down the path you want to go. She'll either follow or she won't. You're the one that has to stick your neck out and take the risks. You're the one that risks the rejection. That's why you feel so vulnerable right now. You may be a tough guy on the outside and have bedded countless chicks over the years but if you want to go down the path of love and a real relationship, you can't be a pussy of the heart. 1
oldshirt Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 ...oh and I agree with others. Texting is fine for flirty banter and "thinking of you"s. But discuss things of substance like actual human beings. I agree with the others, you sound like a 20 year college jock hustling freshmen coeds on campus. If you want some real, you are going to have to be something real.
mammasita Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You sound like the guy Patti Stanger threw out of her Millionaire club for being such a self centered douche bag. Not saying you are like that, the similarities are uncanny though. If she makes you happy say something.....what do you have to lose? 1
MidwestUSA Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You sound like the guy Patti Stanger threw out of her Millionaire club for being such a self centered douche bag. Not saying you are like that, the similarities are uncanny though. If she makes you happy say something.....what do you have to lose? OMG, I love that show, got hubbie hooked on it to. Which douchebag, a recent one? OP, this girl drives 25 hours to see you? I hope you're reimbursing her for gas. So, it's up to her to 'act right'. As a bonus, she'll learn your last name? What is this 'rule book' you refer to? I have a suspicion, but want to hear it from you.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Every woman wants to be "claimed" by her man. (OK, most women.) We want him to state clearly and sincerely that we are the girl for him, and we want him to follow up those words with the right actions. Having to chase a man and claim him insults a woman (well, it insults me - I would never do it, no matter who he was). Are you scared to make this happen? 2
clia Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) If you truly have real feelings for her, I don't understand why you are acting like such a douchebag toward her. Have you initiated any contact with her since Sunday when you had sex? From reading your text exchange, it seems clear to me that she is merely looking for a little validation that you like her, too. Instead you are pushing her to tell you how she feels without giving her anything in return, and almost mocking the vulnerable moment she shared with you. Having sex with a new guy for the first time can release a whole string of emotions, which is why she said what she said, and it doesn't seem like you are giving her any indication that you are really interested in her. Why the heck is she driving 25 hours to see you? Please tell me you have something nice planned for her for Valentine's Day... Edited February 12, 2014 by clia 1
Author LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Some of what she said in that text is a result of Sunday Night. She tries to play it real cool. We told our story of how we met and what we are doing together to a group of people. But some of the girls in the group called her out a little for chasing me. It looks like shes asking for validation. But shes also sending warning signals too. I'm not sure at this point if she really knows what she wants. Ive never sent a text to a girl telling her I miss her and get a keep your wanna be emotions to yourself text back a day later. That threw me off a little. While cuddling in bed this past weekend she asked me if I was scared yet. I told her she has scared me since day one. When I asked how about you, she said more then you know. But then soon as that gets out she goes right into I never catch feelings I don't think I can anymore bleh bleh. Maybe she does just really want weekend status. Or maybe that's all she thinks she can have. Or maybe its all she can handle... Valentines day plans suck right now. I have a work appearance I can not cancel Friday. But after that the weekend is ours. I have arranged for a chef to prepare a romantic dinner for us privately. Then I want to keep it just the two of us. And make the whole night about her. Then for the rest of the weekend who knows? What do you think?
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