Gargant Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Hey, hey. Back again for a little more advice. I have a current online relationship going on. The total years we've dated is three now, but the current relationship has gone on for a 1.25 years now. We've yet to meet, but we're fixing that this summer, meeting each other on a beach, at a beach house for an entire week. Oh! And we're both still in highschool, but I'm just about to head off to college. I've done nothing with any girl, as I was hoping to save everything for her (Heh, and to be honest I've never had the opportunity). In my humble, and inexperienced, opinion, I love this girl. Don't wanna go into details on why, but there's no doubt I love her. But...something has come up that is making me...question everything. And it makes my stomach churn. We've entered into an open relationship for the moment so we could release the need for a physical relationship, but to be honest that hasn't really done anything for me as I'm a little shy and nervous and most girls like me as a close friend which I'm fine with. But I never planned on the relationship staying open forever because at one point in our lives we would just...move in and consolidate the relationship. But she's come out as Gray A. Which basically means the idea of sex turns her off, and she's horny almost never. I've noticed the signs, but I always just thought it was because we were still in a online relationship and once we got together physically, things would open up. Turns out no. And she knows I need sex, and has offered to just keep the open relationship open...forever. For me. I'm so confused. And I'm so lost. The vision I had for my relationship is shattered, I don't know if I can imagine my relationship like that...but I haven't even gotten a chance to see her, and it's been such a long and loving relationship and I don't know why I can't seem to make it over this particular hurdle when we've already jumped through so many together. This is causing me so much distress and I don't know why. I'm here for advice...what to do? Can a relationship and eventually marriage last through an open relationship like that? Should I just get comfortable to the idea for her? She's so important to me, and it tears at me to even consider breaking up, but is that the only option because of my feelings? Help, please.
Andyy Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 This is the problem with online relationships IMO. You can develop strong feelings for a person without addressing other issues along the way - such as the physical side! They're also very easy to get in and out of. To be honest it sounds to me like you guys are on an entirely different page. Not everybody has the same needs, but that doesn't mean you can address one another's need even if it isn't your thing. I'd suggest reading 'The 5 Love Languages'. It's only a short book and won't take long. Basically I am a 'touch' person and my GF is a 'words of affirmation' person. This is hard, because she isn't really into touch and I'm certainly not into giving people verbal affirmation. However it helps you to understand how you best give and receive love, and that your partner may be the opposite. It takes a lot of effort but if you can work on improving how you communicate via your partner's love language the relationship becomes more fulfilling and understood by you both.
Noproblem Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Once you will meet things might change for better or worse. Stop worrying
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