Ruby Slippers Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I am what you would describe as lazy on OLD. I put up a basic profile with one or two pictures, never browse the men, and only interact with guys who find my profile and message me. I don't have a shortage of messages, and I know these are from guys who took the initiative to seek me out and message me, so I don't feel I need to work harder at it. I'm not doing this for work. It's one possible way to meet new romantic prospects, and my approach is essentially the same as it is in real life: if you're interested, come say hi, and if we find we have a connection, we'll talk. I went on my first OLD date last weekend since reactivating my profile. I didn't feel any romantic connection, and my immediate thought was that I want to make more of an effort to meet men the old-fashioned way again. I think it's best not to put all your dating chips in the OLD basket. Get involved, meet new people, try new things, and see who you bump into that way as well. Use OLD as a supplement to other socializing and dating pathways.
Targetlock Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I find it annoying that i very rarely get responses to my messages, seems kind of impolite in my opinion even a 'sorry not interested' would be better in my opinion.
FitChick Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Keenly, I think your problem is that you live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, if I remember correctly. Edited February 13, 2014 by FitChick
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Who, what types, are you messaging? Are they the type of girl that would get a ton of messages? If so, your response rate is not going to be very good. A Guy has to aim a few points lower on OLD than he would in real life, just the way it is. Unless they are messaging you first, go for the plain Janes picture wise and message them, usually they turn out to be attractive in real life and can actually hold a conversation. Also message profiles without pics, there are a lot of gems there too. The girls I've always pursued are cute but not hot. I have a kind of limit on attractiveness that I will go up to, because usually attractive women are either mean, emotionally unstable, whites, or self absorbed. Now I say most, not all, because its just the sum total of my personal experiences in life. I also don't want to compete with 50 other guys for the attention of my woman at all times. I like her to be REAL, not a made up photoshopped IRL barbie doll looking plastic mannequin. Still the same responses, or lack thereof. Fifteen minutes ago I found a girl that seemed cool. In the " six things I never without " section, she put food and water. So as part of my message I playfully threw in that it was cheating to put those two with a smiley face. Along with a paragraph of other common interests etc. The response I just got was " I do what I want !!! " that's it... that's the whole response. So not only did she come off as a brat, but I have absolutely nothing to work with in that response. I can't even force conversation out of it. Some.one mentioned my guitar. I'm not in a band, but given the opportunity I would join one. As for open mic nights, absolutely not. I am NOT a performer, and im DEFINITELY not a " look at me " type. I am pretty good at it yes, but that part of my life is really more for me than for Anyone else. I much prefer playing to an empty room than being on stage with a spotlight on me. Edited February 13, 2014 by Keenly
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Keenly, I think your problem is that you live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, if I remember correctly. Citrus heights California is a suburb of Sacramento. Its not a city, but its no where near a small town. About 78 thousand people with bordering cities like roseville with even more of a population.
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Stupid auto correct put " whites " and now I can't remember what its suppoaed to say.
janedoe67 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Stupid auto correct put " whites " and now I can't remember what its suppoaed to say. I thought that was weird. I think I will become a nun after reading this thread.
Tayken Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I've messaged guys, and hardly ever had them show interest. There are women who can sit back and not do a thing, but a lot of us can't, or don't. Yes there might be some that use their looks or provocative pics to get attention, but is that the kind of stuff you want to compare yourself to? These women end attracting the aholes anyway, and find themselves back on the same site again crying wolf If your profile is detailed and tells people what you are all about, you will get decent guys send you messages. I am currently on a site now messaging women who's profile have substance...some respond, some say they are looking for someone close to their age I have had my fair share of good and bad when it comes to OLD. The older women have been more fun to be with 1
Anela Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Citrus heights California is a suburb of Sacramento. Its not a city, but its no where near a small town. About 78 thousand people with bordering cities like roseville with even more of a population. I lived there, and in Roseville, when I was a teenager. Yeah, it is close to the city, and we weren't that isolated.
oohlala Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Online dating is a numbers game and I'll fully admit it's NOT to the guys' advantage. Out of curiosity I was bored yesterday and went to my old OKCupid profile (I'm happily attached but been sick for days bored in bed) and I had 632(! wtf?!) new messages. OKC lets you see the first line of every message in your inbox, and I only sifted through 2 pages and the first line of 98% of them was just "you're beautiful, you wanna chat?" or something equally boring. I wouldn't even bother responding to that. 1
kart180 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Online dating is a numbers game and I'll fully admit it's NOT to the guys' advantage. Out of curiosity I was bored yesterday and went to my old OKCupid profile (I'm happily attached but been sick for days bored in bed) and I had 632(! wtf?!) new messages. OKC lets you see the first line of every message in your inbox, and I only sifted through 2 pages and the first line of 98% of them was just "you're beautiful, you wanna chat?" or something equally boring. I wouldn't even bother responding to that. I also have a OKC Profile but never check it as I always get the message in my inbox saying something like "you are amazing guy, call XXXXXX if you want to chat". Never respond to anyone anymore.
oohlala Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 So as part of my message I playfully threw in that it was cheating to put those two with a smiley face. Along with a paragraph of other common interests etc. See, I don't respond to stuff like this either, or playful "negging" of any kind. I personally just don't like it and again, numbers. I'd rather respond to someone with something cool or intersting to say about something he learned about me in my profile.
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 See, I don't respond to stuff like this either, or playful "negging" of any kind. I personally just don't like it and again, numbers. I'd rather respond to someone with something cool or intersting to say about something he learned about me in my profile. Well good luck with that lol. Even though what I said Is completely unrelated to "negging" and I was just being playful.
janedoe67 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Well good luck with that lol. Even though what I said Is completely unrelated to "negging" and I was just being playful. It's all about preferences. I am NOT dating or anything, but my take was that your remark was funny, and I would have probably responded "Well, I hated to just put shoes....lol" or something like that. For someone who has sense of humor high on the list your remark would probably get a better response.
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 It's all about preferences. I am NOT dating or anything, but my take was that your remark was funny, and I would have probably responded "Well, I hated to just put shoes....lol" or something like that. For someone who has sense of humor high on the list your remark would probably get a better response. And that would have been a perfect response because now I can make a joke about how women have 12 pairs of the same shoes or if were going really vague and obscure I could just say something like " these shoes suck.... these shows rule... oh my god, shoes. " Point being if I can't respond if I have nothing to work with.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I find it annoying that i very rarely get responses to my messages, seems kind of impolite in my opinion even a 'sorry not interested' would be better in my opinion. It's because 90% of those messages result in a torrent of 'you think you're too good for me? I didn't fancy you anyway you boring ugly b*tch* from people who can't handle rejection. Plus we get hundreds of messages, it would take forever. The one time I have sent similar is if a guy has noticed I checked his profile and then messages and asks in a friendly manner what it is he can improve upon for next time, I.e. What turned me off? I've replied to those frankly.
Tayken Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Online dating is a numbers game and I'll fully admit it's NOT to the guys' advantage. Out of curiosity I was bored yesterday and went to my old OKCupid profile (I'm happily attached but been sick for days bored in bed) and I had 632(! wtf?!) new messages. OKC lets you see the first line of every message in your inbox, and I only sifted through 2 pages and the first line of 98% of them was just "you're beautiful, you wanna chat?" or something equally boring. I wouldn't even bother responding to that. Did your new partner know that you went cruising on dating sites? Additionally, you can't lie that seeing "all those 632 messages", didn't make you feel good if indeed it was that many i.e. boosted your self esteem? Your comments though are in line with women / girls that just put a picture up with no substance in the narrative...it screams I can't communicate or can't be bothered (RED FLAG)
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Hundreds of messages never made me feel good because it's par for the course. It's OLD and I'm an attractive female. I knew I was going to get swamped before I even joined and I'm not naive to think it has anything to do with how attractive I am or how good my profile is! Even average women/unattractive women are swamped. Most of the men don't seem very picky or choosy, they just seem to copy and paste the same message to every woman online. I did actually read EVERY message I got sent though. One of my friends just couldn't be bothered to read all of hers, personally I felt a little like I could be missing the right person amongst the messages I got each day so I checked them all out. I had apps though so it was easy to have a quick look every time I got sent a message. 1
Jethro Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 OLD is stupid for guys. It's my opinion we should all band together and protest participation in OLD. It's a woman's candy shop there, built pretty much for the express purpose of feeding their egos.
BlametheIrish Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) OLD is stupid for guys. It's my opinion we should all band together and protest participation in OLD. It's a woman's candy shop there, built pretty much for the express purpose of feeding their egos. Candy shop, ha! I just reinstated my profile today on OKC..so far under my search parameters I.see wayyyyy to many men dressed like 16year old emo boys Another huge heaping helping of men who claim to.be of average size but need to loose at least 50lbs A bunch of men with.downright creepy profile pics. Another huge chunk of men with horrible pics like. Him in snowboarding gear so you can't tell how he looks, Pics with their shirts off smh, pics with gorgeous women on their arm. Standing next to an.attractive woman does not make you attractive man. Pics where the gut is drinking a beer, really?? Thats your best pic? Really?? A bunch of convict looking pics with no smile, no emotion.at all showing. I've actually looked at two profiles thus far. Both were of men who were smiling in rheur photo, both were good looking enough but not head turners. I clicked on one profild only to find out he's a bonafied man child. And the other guy who was slightly better looking, opens his profile by acknowledging how good looking he is. What an ego on him, he wasnt even that good looking. OLD isn't easy for men or women. I think I'm going to keep the profile up for laughs as the last time I went on OKC the pickings werent so slim. This time it's just sad really. Edited February 13, 2014 by BlametheIrish
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Candy shop, ha! I just reinstated my profile today on OKC..so far under my search parameters I.see wayyyyy to many men dressed like 16year old emo boys Another huge heaping helping of men who claim to.be of average size but need to loose at least 50lbs A bunch of men with.downright creepy profile pics. Another huge chunk of men with horrible pics like. Him in snowboarding gear so you can't tell how he looks, Pics with their shirts off smh, pics with gorgeous women on their arm. Standing next to an.attractive woman does not make you attractive man. Pics where the gut is drinking a beer, really?? Thats your best pic? Really?? A bunch of convict looking pics with no smile, no emotion.at all showing. I've actually looked at two profiles thus far. Both were of men who were smiling in rheur photo, both were good looking enough but not head turners. I clicked on one profild only to find out he's a bonafied man child. And the other guy who was slightly better looking, opens his profile by acknowledging how good looking he is. What an ego on him, he wasnt even that good looking. OLD isn't easy for men or women. I think I'm going to keep the profile up for laughs as the last time I went on OKC the pickings werent so slim. This time it's just sad really. So does this Mean you are going to sit back and not search anymore? Because if so, I beleove you aren't really looking for some one. Over half of the people are instant deal breakers , but that doesn't mean you give up. I've had many situations where eventually the girls just stop responding. So yesterday I decided to try and speed things up and ask one girl in my area if she wanted to meet at Starbucks. She responded with " don't you want to text first ? " and yeah, I do, I just feel like its deja vu and I can predict where going to happen because I've seen it before. Communication will start off nicely, but slowly taper off until eventually you ate getting one to two word responses and then no responses. I feel the need to make an in person impression. Even if its a quick 10 minute one.
Purepony Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I dont think their lazy their just picky. Post a pic of david Beckham and you'll get more responses than you can handle.
Author Keenly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 I dont think their lazy their just picky. Post a pic of david Beckham and you'll get more responses than you can handle. Sure I'll get responses , but what happens when I show up with this ugly mug
BlametheIrish Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 You're right Keenly I'm not really looking. Still healing from the breakup. I'm not about to let someone in.my life until.my heart is fully healed. I.was just seeing what was out there.
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