ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 In essence, I am in a sad situation. As a result, I am much farther behind than most people is at my age and, even at my best efforts, I don't see things going back to normal until I hit 30 at the soonest. Even then, I do need some advice before I "throw down the hammer". As I probably mentioned before, I live with my mother and my 3 brothers. Without going through too much details, they are completely reliant on me. Without me there, they can't do the things necessary to keep a roof over their heads. So I have been a slave to them for their own benefit. Despite that, for me to continue this way, there has to be benefits for me. I have came to terms that there is none. I constantly getting robbed. I get annoyed by the insanely high number of excuses. I am also irritated by the amount of money I am throwing away for common bills. It is pointless to talk to them. They won't listen. They are quite stubborn in their ways but if I were to leave with no remorse, they will definitely be homeless before long, which is something I have no desire to bring to anyone but I may have no choice since I am 27 and I finally getting something done to get to my own dreams. This is not the life I wanted to live, that's for sure. Even then, I tend to get really bored. Work isn't exciting at all and I am the only male in my department so I hardly have anything common with the women there. I am not a bar/club person (I don't even know where one is at) and I don't even have a hobby that I even want to spend money on since I am quitting card games and I am losing interest fast on video games. As I have said many times here, I have never got a girlfriend but the biggest reason why is because I barely find any woman that is attractive enough to approach, not because I am bitter, shy, or anything like that. Seems like the best ones is either single mothers or smokers. So it is one of the biggest reasons why I am looking overseas but I can also understand that they want males already established and I am not even close. In fact, I don't even know when I will get to that point so I am not even entertaining the thought right now. I am about to get eligible again to attend college but I am concerned that if I go down the wrong path, I basically signed what remains of my life to the government fot no benefit and I definitely don't want that. With all of that being said, I just need to know if I should "drop the hammer" on my family, move out, and just move on with my life because, if so, I can get that done as quickly as next month. If you need to know more, just ask and I will explain.
hotpotato Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Does anyone in your family have a physical or mental condition that prevents them from working? There are 5 people in your household, right? Why are you carrying the load? I say drop the hammer. You are almost 30. How much longer do they expect you to live and work for them?
Author ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Does anyone in your family have a physical or mental condition that prevents them from working? There are 5 people in your household, right? Why are you carrying the load? I say drop the hammer. You are almost 30. How much longer do they expect you to live and work for them? Only my youngest brother has such a condition. He is disabled for life and will always get a government check as a result of it. Unfortunately, he has became very stubborn and entitled as the result of my mother's treatment and lack of concern of him so he just does whatever he wants without punishment. This is the biggest reason why I am paying a $330 Light and Water bill, which is insanely high. Another one of my brothers does work but he has shown no responsibility whatsoever. He rather stay at home outside of work and play video games while constantly ordering fast food. He even give me his debit card and let me use his money to pay things just so he doesn't have to do it. My mother hasn't worked for over 20 years and is currently almost 300 pounds so she is basically in no shape to work. She is living off of the government with housing assistance and food stamps and has shown no desire to change that. My last brother is a small time criminal. He isn't supposed to be here since he is not on the lease but was allowed by my mother so he is living here for free. Ever since he has been here, a lot of stuff has been disappearing like my games, my other working brother's games and accessories along with money and unauthorized charges on both debit cards. Yeah, this is a HUGE mess I am in.
hotpotato Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 So in other words, most of their issues are personal problems. Imo you should leave and let them hit rock bottom. How much longer can you bear to live like this?
Els Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 If your family qualifies for government welfare, can you not leave them to live on it and strike your own path in life, without too much guilt?
Author ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 So in other words, most of their issues are personal problems. Imo you should leave and let them hit rock bottom. How much longer can you bear to live like this? The only reason why I hasn't just jumped up and left is because my only job's hours have dropped and it may make it harder for me to live on my own but, compared to this, I may just take the chance and let the chips fall as it may. At this point, I can't see me taking much more of this. I am just waiting for the income tax check to come in and then the preparations will begin.
Author ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 If your family qualifies for government welfare, can you not leave them to live on it and strike your own path in life, without too much guilt? I can. The only problem is that they was so reliant on me to the point where they can't do the same things I can do. Even if they can, they can't (or won't) get it done on time. For example, my youngest brother missed school for the 2nd day this week (out of 3 days) today because my mother started way too late to get him ready....and nothing has changed over the past 4-5 years in how the school bus picks them up. It is quite pathetic, to be honest. He needs to leave at 6 AM ad yet, despite this, my mother gets him out of here maybe 70% of the time.
Els Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 How old is your youngest brother? If he is above 12 he should be able to get himself ready for school.
mammasita Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 This is easy for me to say because they aren't my family but I would leave and let them fend for themselves. It might be the best thing you can do for them and more importantly you.
Author ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 How old is your youngest brother? If he is above 12 he should be able to get himself ready for school. He is 19. By age, he should be able to but he is nowhere near where he should be. He can't speak and has to use sign language to communicate. He has massive issues using the toilet. And that is just a few of the problems concerning him. He is going to a Special Education school right now.
Els Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Oh, okay, I sympathize with that then. Given his disability, is it possible to apply for a caretaker to take care of him? As your mom is clearly unable to.
hotpotato Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Oh, okay, I sympathize with that then. Given his disability, is it possible to apply for a caretaker to take care of him? As your mom is clearly unable to. This. Someone else needs to be taking care of him. You can't because you actually work.
Author ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Oh, okay, I sympathize with that then. Given his disability, is it possible to apply for a caretaker to take care of him? As your mom is clearly unable to. It is a matter of finding one that is willing to deal with his stubbornness. He is unique in the way that you need a tough skin to work with him as he is quite strong physically and can throw some of the nastiest tempers I personally ever seen. He is strong enough to go against me if he gets serious enough, for example. My other working brother have said that he will take care of him when the time comes but, given how he is handling things, I am questionable about it. Either case, I will be on a lookout just the same. 1
Els Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Glad you have decided to do what you need to do for you. Good luck!
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