lonely_lady Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Right now I have reached a point of depression in my life something I have never really experienced. I am sad, and have lost my desire to do things, but I still have to do them. I have a super critical husband if the house is dirty he will criticize me and make sure I know that I didn't try hard enough. I have to make sure dinner is ready every day if I don't then he will surely let me know that I am not that great of a wife. If our kids aren't to par it's always my fault seriously in his eyes I am a **** up that can't do anything right. I'm too fat, too optimistic, and too deep. Really the only reason I'm still here is because of my kids they are my strength right now. I feel like crying all the time and I long for human affection. I have friends but I can't tell them about my minister husband. It would ruin his image plus it's pointless if I don't leave him. I want too but I don't know. Maybe I really am the problem, maybe it's me that's crazy and I am the one too blame. I don't know I am torn and sad. I have never felt more alone in my life. I hugged a boy named Andrew at school this past Monday he's gay but he encouraged me and it felt good to have someone affirm me. My mom use to always tear me down as a child and now my husband is doing the same thing, but I don't want to play the victim card, because I don't consider myself a victim.
GogoPaz Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You sound like a very caring person. I m not experienced in marriage and kids but I do know we all need a break once in a while. To find that happiness drive to keep us going. What makes you happy? Our happiness should be from inside we shouldnt rely on it from husbands boyfriends...Im still learning to be happy bymyself and its hard, we are human and need love, affection, hugs. Your husband doesnt seem too supportive but he should make you happy too, you are the wife; not his housekeeper and childbearer. Im sure you are beautiful, take better care of yourself , spend time relaxing alone even if its 10 mins in a day. Set a goal to show him he is wrong and you are worth more than he thinks and makes you feel cuz he is wrong. Idk I just wanted to reply hope you feel much better today and from now on... This times will make us much stronger , pain is good. Talk to u soon !
Omei Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You are not the problem, don't even think that. You feel this way for a reason remember that and the reason is you're not being appreciated! Why are you worried about his image? Talk to your friends do it! You're kids have no doubt picked up on your unhappiness they often dont say anything because kids don't understand. Don't worry about him worry about you....open up to a friend.
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