RightThere Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I found in my observations women often tend to trade down physically in their second marriages. Maybe this is because the men the second time around are plainer, safer choice for women are looking for stability rather than lust and attraction that may have been more appealing when younger. Their first marriage is for love. The second one is for money.
MyEvilTwin Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Their first marriage is for love. The second one is for money. No. Women's first marriage is a man they instinctively determine will produce good offspring with them. Never forget that we women are predatory creatures too, and have our own desire to propagate the species, just as strong as men's. 2nd marriage is usually for love. No reproduction necessary, already achieved. Nobody ever said that money doesn't help though. Guess that depends on the woman. What's that Eagles song..."don't you bet on the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able...you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet"...Desperado. Edited February 13, 2014 by MyEvilTwin 2
Author M30USA Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 No. Women's first marriage is a man they instinctively determine will produce good offspring with them. Never forget that we women are predatory creatures too, and have our own desire to propagate the species, just as strong as men's. 2nd marriage is usually for love. No reproduction necessary, already achieved. Nobody ever said that money doesn't help though. Guess that depends on the woman. What's that Eagles song..."don't you bet on the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able...you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet"...Desperado. You might be right on this one.
dumped2013 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 My 2nd ex was actually hot. She is my last ex because I will never do the marriage thing again. So I guess I disagree
Tayla Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Question should be- How many second marriages are an Upgrade from their first? My son, has re-married and he definitely upgraded in ways beyond compare! That is a compliment to his ability to learn from his first marital mistake. His first wife was all about the money and being "tended" to. While he learned the basics in "being the man" of the house, he also paid a severe price. His second marriage is to an equal partner, friend, and endearingly diplomatic wife. She is independent, kind and family oriented. She is beautiful inside and out. Its wonderful to have folks who openly communicate and are committed to a loving lifestyle. I'm in the mid age of life and on the flip side, most of my female friends that did remarry- did so for "security" in their elder years....Married the "safe" guy and seem tolerant because they figure He'll go before them....Not a fan of accepting second best....Love shouldnt be second best.... 2
Author M30USA Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 Question should be- How many second marriages are an Upgrade from their first? My son, has re-married and he definitely upgraded in ways beyond compare! That is a compliment to his ability to learn from his first marital mistake. His first wife was all about the money and being "tended" to. While he learned the basics in "being the man" of the house, he also paid a severe price. His second marriage is to an equal partner, friend, and endearingly diplomatic wife. She is independent, kind and family oriented. She is beautiful inside and out. Its wonderful to have folks who openly communicate and are committed to a loving lifestyle. I'm in the mid age of life and on the flip side, most of my female friends that did remarry- did so for "security" in their elder years....Married the "safe" guy and seem tolerant because they figure He'll go before them....Not a fan of accepting second best....Love shouldnt be second best.... Tyla, I'm glad things worked out for your son. Could you please elaborate more on the differences between wife 1 and wife 2? What in particular was the problem with wife 1?
Tayla Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 M3- I appreciate the inquiry , yet I think I said as best I can how they were different. What things have you learned so that your beloved is an upgrade to where you are headed in life? I think that is the key or atleast a step in the right direction. 2
2.50 a gallon Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Over 30 years ago,when I married my Ex she had just turned 22, was for real foldout material. She cheated enough said. I Googled her a couple of years back, and found a photo, she has not aged well, and is now pushing the scales to at least 200. Though we have not married, my lady and I have been together for over 18 years. We see us as permanent, co-own a house and two cars. She is the sweetest, most kind, most loving and giving person I have ever met. And it is not just me saying it, also her friends, our neighbors and her co-workers. She is out of my league in the looks department. A granny with a flat stomach and still has an hour glass figure, and I might add, fantastic well shaped long legs. Definite eye candy. She will never see 50 again, but still looks a good ten years younger. I traded way up. 3
Author M30USA Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 M3- I appreciate the inquiry , yet I think I said as best I can how they were different. What things have you learned so that your beloved is an upgrade to where you are headed in life? I think that is the key or atleast a step in the right direction. I guess what I was asking is what you meant by his first wife needing to be "tended" to. As in high maintenance? Always taking and never giving? A princess?
Tayla Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I guess what I was asking is what you meant by his first wife needing to be "tended" to. As in high maintenance? Always taking and never giving? A princess? Sorry that I didn't further detail, now the inquiry makes sense! Yes the first wife carried the high maintenance carrying card.... 1
Author M30USA Posted February 13, 2014 Author Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Sorry that I didn't further detail, now the inquiry makes sense! Yes the first wife carried the high maintenance carrying card.... Okay, gotcha. I didn't find my ex's card until I saw it in her purse during our final year. ***Edited: I just want to point out that there is nothing wrong, per se, with a woman being high maintenance. Some men even prefer this because it makes them feel machismo to take care of all woman's needs. My issue isn't with high maintenance women. That's not why I got divorced. Edited February 13, 2014 by M30USA
Tayla Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I respect that its your opinion. Sorry to hear of the delay in realization, it does that sometimes, Things in restrospect. High maintenance is a way to be tended to without putting in an effort , not my cup of tea ..... 1
MyEvilTwin Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 If I was thinking about dating again after divorce the initial question wouldn't even be in my head. I'd be looking in the mirror, doing some examination, and trying to find ways to better myself. Like attracts like usually...even when it hurts us to acknowledge that...but at least it gives us an out as that we can work on improving ourselves, but we sure can't control anybody else. We all make mistakes. The question is what do we change about ourselves so that history doesn't repeat itself? 2
worldgonewrong Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I'm not on my 2nd marriage (yet!), but my now long-time GF (whom I want to marry) is a definite 'upgrade' in the looks category.
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