AnyaNova Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Why do you guys (by guys I mean men) always do this thing, where we women think, "Oh, that'll never happen." So we decide that we think you're cute and we have fun flirting etc..but that it will never go anywhere and we're good with that. Until, (Dum dah dum dum) then you guys start doing all sorts of things that make us think that there actually is a real possibility here. And then we begin to hope. And you do this for long enough that its not about us women being needy or desperate the moment we begin to hope and turning you off. No. You guys play like a cat with a moth, our hopes for quite a while. And then, just like that, they're gone. What is this, why do you do this, how can I tell the difference between this and something that might actually ahve a chance of happening and how do I avoid this. I am very, very tired of this particular game.
Keenly Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You didn't listen to your initial instincts, got attached, and then blame the man? I think that one would be on you. 4
carhill Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Just like when women play with men and drop them, most of the time when we do it we don't even realize it. Emotions or infatuation hasn't kicked in. I've found myself doing it more since getting divorced because I'm not really interested in women as romantic partners anymore but do enjoy some fun now and again (innocent fun, not sexual fun). Do some perhaps take it in a way I did not in any way intend? Yes! No different than all the years where I 'misunderstood' the fun they were having with me. That's how it goes!
hellonheels Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I've experienced the same thing. For me, it seems to happen when I really start liking the guy. I think that men can sense when we really like them (for example, we return their calls/texts quickly and we say "yes" to dates too quickly) and they don't perceive us as a challenge anymore. And men love a good challenge.
kart180 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I had the same thing with women, i try to be nice and a little flirty but then she says oh we are just friends its ok when I thought there was a possibly in building a relationship
Weezy1973 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Why do you guys (by guys I mean men) always do this thing, where we women think, "Oh, that'll never happen." So we decide that we think you're cute and we have fun flirting etc..but that it will never go anywhere and we're good with that. Until, (Dum dah dum dum) then you guys start doing all sorts of things that make us think that there actually is a real possibility here. And then we begin to hope. And you do this for long enough that its not about us women being needy or desperate the moment we begin to hope and turning you off. No. You guys play like a cat with a moth, our hopes for quite a while. And then, just like that, they're gone. What is this, why do you do this, how can I tell the difference between this and something that might actually ahve a chance of happening and how do I avoid this. I am very, very tired of this particular game. Are you asking why sometimes men lose interest when they seemed interested at first? This is usually because with time they found out your were incompatible or not what they were looking for. It happens all the time.
ltjg45 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 If I have done it, it wasn't done on purpose. The weird thing is there was a couple females that looked like they have interest in me but one of them was way too weird and hardly attractive and the 2nd one is a smoker, which is a deal breaker. So, I did my best to be aloof with them. It is not like either one has made their interest any more known but, if they have, I didn't see it.
Tayken Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Are you asking why sometimes men lose interest when they seemed interested at first? This is usually because with time they found out your were incompatible or not what they were looking for. It happens all the time. Ahahahahah...priceless Notice how the poster said "we flirt with ya, and then we think you are cute" I think you hit the nail when you said the stuff in bold. I mean if you are choosing your guys based on cuteness only, then you deserve what you get. As the saying goes...."show me a good looking woman, and I'll show you a guy who is tired of ******* her"
Author AnyaNova Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 You didn't listen to your initial instincts, got attached, and then blame the man? I think that one would be on you. Um no. Because the guy's signs changed. Where once it seemed like there was nothing, than there really was something. Really really. And I mean scientifically documented, this means he really likes you body language and behavior type signs. Initial instincts can be really wrong. I mean, if the guy were truly the same throughout, you'd be right. But where the guy himself completely changes his behavior?
Keenly Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Are you looking for an answer that completely absolves you from any responsibility over your own emotions ? Do you want us to say " those bad men ! Always making those nice girls like them and then running off! " You gotta own your part in it or nothing will ever change.
Author AnyaNova Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Ahahahahah...priceless Notice how the poster said "we flirt with ya, and then we think you are cute" I think you hit the nail when you said the stuff in bold. I mean if you are choosing your guys based on cuteness only, then you deserve what you get. As the saying goes...."show me a good looking woman, and I'll show you a guy who is tired of ******* her" Okay. Obviously it was too much to hope that you might credit the OP (ME!) with any intelligence whatsoever. If they don't attract me (and trust me, in most cases it really isn't the musclebound dudes that I go for) AND possess clear intelligence, I don't even bother flirting, much less actually developing a crush on them. And the point I was trying to make, was "that we think you're cute but that it is not going anywhere, and then they up the ante, so to speak. So we begin to hope etc."
Tayken Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Perhaps Karma is playing a role in this somehow?
Elias33 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 These threads always make me wonder. While your concern is legitimate, the notion that only guys do this is of course erroneous. If you want to know more about this behavior, at least understand that this behavior does not uniquely belong to men. There's people out there that like to play games and it is up to us to be aware of them, end of story. There is no why. Or at least, we shouldn't care about why.
JDPT Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Something somewhat similar occurred to me a few weeks ago. I met a girl at a wedding a few months ago. My friend was very adamant about meeting her so we started texting back and forth. I quiet honestly didn't see it going anywhere but we decided to meet. At that point, I realized how much she was into me, when my intentions were to be there for her as a friend. Albeit, she is a wonderful girl I didn't see her in a different light. She became somewhat emotional during our meeting, I just tried to comfort her as much as I could but simultaneously make things very clear for the both of us as to were we stood. Sometimes it takes a little more to realize what the other person's intentions are. Clearly, in my scenario we were both running on different wavelengths. I'm happy to know now that we are both on the same page.
Recommended Posts