ShiningMoon Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Why would a man ask you out of his own free will, text you to plan a date and then ask to reschedule at the last minute? Why would you do such thing three times in a row? What's the point of texting a woman to ask her if she's free on X day to postpone at the last minute? What's the point of asking her out in the first place? I'm confused!
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I wouldn't be accepting a date from someone who reschedules at the last minute, unless they'd wound up in hospital or something equally emergent. The fact that he's done it 3 times is suspect. I would not be communicating with him any further.
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 It depends on why. If he has some kind of job where stuff comes up last minute -- like a doctor in an ER or even a snow plow contractor given how awful the weather has been -- sure rescheduling is par for the course. Similarly if he has legitimate family issues -- elder care or child care & a health emergency arose, again, fine. Even some combo but without more info about why he's constantly doing this, we can't say whether it's legit or not. I suspect that if he had real excuses, he would have shared them with you.
Elias33 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 A considerate and well mannered man would never do such a thing. If this happened to you, then you don't matter as much as you'd like to believe.
Elias33 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 It depends on why. If he has some kind of job where stuff comes up last minute -- like a doctor in an ER or even a snow plow contractor given how awful the weather has been -- sure rescheduling is par for the course. Similarly if he has legitimate family issues -- elder care or child care & a health emergency arose, again, fine. Even some combo but without more info about why he's constantly doing this, we can't say whether it's legit or not. I suspect that if he had real excuses, he would have shared them with you. Good point, but if you are on call, why bother asking someone on a date? Isn't that just as inconsiderate?
Author ShiningMoon Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 His excuses: - Impromptu vacation - Phone not working (so he almost stood me up because he didn't give me the time we were supposed to meet at) - Work Plus, whenever he has to reschedule, he sends me a text at like a random hour (i.e - 3 a.m or 7 a.m).
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 His excuses: - Impromptu vacation - Phone not working (so he almost stood me up because he didn't give me the time we were supposed to meet at) - Work Plus, whenever he has to reschedule, he sends me a text at like a random hour (i.e - 3 a.m or 7 a.m). Nup, ditch it. Next! 2
Author ShiningMoon Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I'm really wondering why he asked me out if it's to treat me like crap. He could have spared me the grief!
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I'm really wondering why he asked me out if it's to treat me like crap. He could have spared me the grief! It doesn't work like that. People are selfish. Don't take it personally, it says more about him than it does about you. The next time he calls, just ignore it and move on. Laugh about it. 1
tlegend Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 His excuses: - Impromptu vacation - Phone not working (so he almost stood me up because he didn't give me the time we were supposed to meet at) - Work Plus, whenever he has to reschedule, he sends me a text at like a random hour (i.e - 3 a.m or 7 a.m). Nope. Fuc k that noise.
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Work might be legit. the other 2 excuses are lame. 3 strikes & you're out. Next!
Author ShiningMoon Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 From a male's perspective, when you guys act like this, what is going on in your head? (Just curious, so I don't let this scenario happen with another guy)
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 From a male's perspective, when you guys act like this, what is going on in your head? (Just curious, so I don't let this scenario happen with another guy) ShiningMoon, there's nothing much to analyse and it's pretty hard to avoid. He was probably dating more than one woman, and was more interested in her. Which is why my advice is, do not put your dating eggs in one basket. Unfortunately, you don't know this is happening until it actually happens. It's how you react to it. Allow someone to break plans once and reschedule, providing they fit in with yours (as in, don't ditch already made plans - if you can't see him for another week, too bad). Any man calling you at 3am in the morning, unless it's your husband/father/brother/son, should not be answered at that time. And anyone who uses the weak excuses as that he did, should get the flick. 1
Noproblem Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 A new girl appeared at the last minute, so he had to reschedule 1
Author ShiningMoon Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 (edited) How old are you guys? I can think maybe he is to nerves to get to the date but he really wants too But it can also be that he is just not serious about you. Did you do anything that pressure him to ask you out? Or is he not single? I dont know but you teach people to respect you. If he can keep changing the dates and not one but 3 times and you just agree like its piece of cake, he wont ever take you serious. And think you are easy to play with. If he cant make you a priority for a simple date, how is he going to do more if he become your bf? Dont be desperate. Get to the point , make them respect you. If you are not worth it for him to make the date happen, then he is not worth it to keep around. First time he cant come okay. BUt not a second and third and 100 times. We're both 22. He asked me out of his own free will, I didn't do anything to pressure him and I was even surprised he asked me out. I wasn't expecting it at all. Now there is a really bizarre thing going on. He cancelled our date as he was about to go on vacation and the night we were supposed to go out he texted me multiple times to make up for it and talk. The second time he did apologize three times and told he wanted to reschedule. The third time he was like "We're gonna get this date in, I hope". I told him, if he's not feeling it or if he's changed his mind, it's okay to tell me. It was really no big deal. He said "I actually do want to meet up, I swear. It's just work is taking over". I get it, we have opposite schedules since he works nights, but still. He's super bizarre. He keeps texting me and responds to my texts within 30s but he just can't seem to stick to his own plans! What the heck? Don't ask me to meet up if you feel like you're not gonna make it! Edited February 12, 2014 by ShiningMoon
MidwestUSA Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 OP, is this the same guy you've posted about before, more than once? Or does this keep happening to you, over and over? I find it curious that you would come across no less than three men who would cancel on you and have 'going on vacation' as an excuse. And have the texting at odd times thing in common. That's just bad luck.
HappyLove Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 "Why would you do such thing three times in a row?" Because you allow him to. The real question here is why are you still accepting date requests or even communicating with a man who cancelled more than once?
Zahara Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 From a male's perspective, when you guys act like this, what is going on in your head? (Just curious, so I don't let this scenario happen with another guy) OP, I did this to a guy just after my divorce. I was emotionally unavailable but put myself on OLD. Met this guy. I liked him, then I didn't like him. And I would be flip flopping. When he made plans, I'd find reasons to cancel/reschedule. When I didn't hear from him, I'd make plans. When he would confirm, as the day came closer, I'd bail. When I had no dates lined up, I'd reach out to him. Flaky as hell. This went on for 2 months until I told him what was going on with me. I was seeking attention, looking for someone to fill my void. Still looking at other guys and keeping my options open because I didn't know what the hell I was feeling, doing, thinking. His reasons are excuses not to see you. And he's putting you on the backburner for when he has a need for you. The texting and keeping communication going is just his way of keeping a lifeline going. 1
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