SayyWhat Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 OK in a nutshell... A few months ago Ex asked for a break We did no contact then she called me 2 weeks later. Communication was good. A week later we spoke on the phone, I got really upset that she still didn't know what she wanted so I hung up on her and ignored her for a month. Month later I contacted her. she was pist and told me I was dead to her. later that day she contacted me apologizing for her reaction to me contacting her and she said that she still had feelings for me and wanted to eventually be friends. I responded nicely. Then we didn't talk for a few weeks after that. So a few weeks later I contacted her again and said I wanted to meet up. She agreed and we had made plans to meet the next day. Next day came, and she told me a time and place that I could meet her if i wanted to. I didn't agree to it so I asked for a raincheck. So we didnt talk for a few more weeks. Finally I contacted her again and her response seemed bitter so I never replied. Didn't talk to her for 2 months after that. In that time my birthday passed and she didn't bother checking in so I figured i'd just leave it be. Anyway, this past weekend I was thinking about her and grew the ballz to call her. I didn't expect her to answer and she didn't. Buttttt she texted me back the next day to acknowledge my call and ask whatsup... I never responded. Not to be a dick. I'm just confused. i KNOW that I DON'T want to be in a relationship with her, but i DO MISS her. When I called her it was more out of impulse than anything else. Had she answered I would've spoken to her, but since she didn't and the heat of the moment was over, when she finally did respond I thought it was best to just forget reestablishing communication with her all together. Anyway, so why am i writing this? I guess I kind of feel like a dick for not answering her. I do care about her, and would like to be friends with her. But i'm afraid I might start developing feelings for her again. So although I REALLY do want to talk to her, i REALLY DONT want to put myself into any kind of vulnerable position. So yeahh.. I guess I'm kind of lost. By not responding to her am I ruining the chance of a future friendship with her? I know the initial contact after a period of No contact is the most crucial in determining how things end up. Then again, since I never actually spoke to her that night, was contact really broken? Idk lol...any tips would be great! Thanks guys !
Eivuwan Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Since you don't trust yourself, it is best to maintain NC. 2
Author SayyWhat Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Since you don't trust yourself, it is best to maintain NC. Yeah.. that's exactly what I'm thinking =\..
Versacehottie Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 i think the fact that BOTH of you keep wavering on whether or not you want contact tells you a lot. Reading between the lines, I think it's over but that sometimes the period after breakup isn't always the easiest and doesn't mean you don't miss the other person and have feelings for them. Doesn't mean you should force friendship or contact before it's really time. Stay no contact until you have ONLY friendship feelings or a strong hold over your emotions. There are plenty of people to be friends with and by the time you are ready to entertain her as a friend, you will be ready for WHATEVER her response to that is, ie if she doesn't want to be, it won't affect you either. Good luck
Sandy99 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 If you called her and she texted you back, I would say you should just write back a quick note saying..I just called to say hi. I hope you're doing well...and leave it at that. Or make up some excuse for why you called. Not responding to her text after you called her would seem sort of strange to me and yes it might make her feel that you are playing games with her for no reason what so ever. I might send a quick, very generic response and then go back to being no contact with her if that's what you think is best.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Until you figure out what you want, it's best to stay out of contact. Then it's best to stay out of contact until you can internally resolve your lingering feelings. So yeah, I wouldn't send anything now or for a long while.
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