Meatpuppet Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 A few questions for those of you who dumped your ex only to get back together with them. How long was it before you began contacting them again and when did you get back together. What led up to the reconciliation? What prevented you from trying to get back together prior to the moment you reopened contact. How long once you decided you wanted to contact them did it take for you to actually reach out? Feel free to answer all or some of the questions. Your responses are most appreciated.
amelady74 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Im interested to know too. But Im kinda thinking maybe there really isnt many dumpers on this site right now, and the ones that are on here are the ones who think they made a mistake and are now wanting to get back with their ex.... I dont think the dumpers who are really done with the relationship will make anymore contact with the one they dumped. I was dumped and I dont have any idea how hes feeling towards me. but my thoughts are, that if he does not contact me, then he probably didnt really care about me.
deathandtaxes Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I dated a woman last year for several months and then dumped her. I went NC. She didn't. Eventually the e-mails stopped. But then I broke NC and we reconnected again about six months after I ended things. The same things cropped up that caused me to end things the first time. I really wouldn't recommend to anybody that they get back with an ex. There are always reasons why it doesn't work out the first time. Why think it will be any different the next?
deathandtaxes Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Im interested to know too. But Im kinda thinking maybe there really isnt many dumpers on this site right now, and the ones that are on here are the ones who think they made a mistake and are now wanting to get back with their ex.... I dont think the dumpers who are really done with the relationship will make anymore contact with the one they dumped. I was dumped and I dont have any idea how hes feeling towards me. but my thoughts are, that if he does not contact me, then he probably didnt really care about me. Don't be too hard on yourself. I have been on both ends. As a dumper, I will say this: I cared very deeply about the women I have dumped. But sometimes things just don't work out.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 How long was it before you began contacting them again and when did you get back together. After 6 months of dating, I broke up with my ex in January 2013, and said I wanted 1 month of no contact. About 2 months later, he contacted me and asked for a second chance. We talked it all out, got together for the day, and I agreed. What led up to the reconciliation? He wanted to get back together, said he thought we were good together and my decision to break up was premature. What prevented you from trying to get back together prior to the moment you reopened contact. He hadn't said "I love you" yet. There were other points of conflict, but it boiled down to me not feeling loved and appreciated with him. Shortly after we got back together, he said I love you and expressed a lot of feelings in a sincere way - but the underlying conflict was still there. After about 6 more months together, after trying a lot of different methods to reconcile our differences, my last straw was to suggest we talk to a counselor of some sort (therapist, church counselor, even a wise friend). But he refused that several times, so I had to break up with him again last October.
Gemini x Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I dated a woman last year for several months and then dumped her. I went NC. She didn't. Eventually the e-mails stopped. But then I broke NC and we reconnected again about six months after I ended things. The same things cropped up that caused me to end things the first time. I really wouldn't recommend to anybody that they get back with an ex. There are always reasons why it doesn't work out the first time. Why think it will be any different the next? I'm going through a very recent BU and am currently NC. I still hope he'll reach out to me sometime in the near future. Since the BU I've realized mistakes I made that I know I wouldn't do second time around. I believe everyone deserves a second chance if they were truly in love at one point. He and I were together over 3 years and I'd give anything to have another chance to redo the things I failed to do as his girlfriend. Sometimes people take for granted, and get too comfortable, and don't realize it until they're broken up. He was far from perfect but I did make a lot of mistakes that I wish I can take back. I know if he ever were to give me a second chance things would be different on my part.
pickflicker Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 You also need to ask the question of how many of those reconciliations failed. 1
Author Meatpuppet Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I appreciate all the responses. I'm about 4 months NC 5 months since break up(limited contact first month post BU) She had told a mutual friend 1 month into NC that she had been thinking about contacting me but wasn't ready. I think she was still feeling guilty. I wonder why she hasn't contacted me yet given she was considering it 2.5 months ago
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