Ladies: How Do You Deal with Being Invisible?

[verhrzn]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

I've always struggled with this idea of "Female Privilege." A lot of guys I run into, both online and in real life, are convinced that by being female, a woman has some huge advantage in the dating game.

 

But I've never experienced those supposed "benefits." I've never been hit on or asked out. When I was single, I really, really struggled to find a guy who was even willing to hook up with me out of desperation.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real woman because I haven't experienced all of these things that are supposedly part of "being a woman."

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

[lollipopspot]

[*]Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)

 

[*] You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can

 

Some people like to cling to stereotypes. "All women are this." "All men are this." They are unable to see people as individuals. Try not to let what these people say affect you too much (even though they're in all walks of life), because they're not looking at you, they're looking at their own images that they carry inside. And it will bring them problems in their relationships.

[tlegend]

Some people like to cling to stereotypes. "All women are this." "All men are this." They are unable to see people as individuals. Try not to let what these people say affect you too much (even though they're in all walks of life), because they're not looking at you, they're looking at their own images that they carry inside. And it will bring them problems in their relationships.

 

Hmmmmm, this comment made me really think for a while.

 

Well said.

[OpheliaSong]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt.

I just don't care what random men think. They are pathetic really...oh, I can't get a girl and I tried because all the good ones are gone so I will stamp my feet and cry and rage and give up. Whatever, it leaves the real men left and those are the ones I want anyway. I am not entitled to anything and so I have to make myself the best person I can be regardless of whether or not I am good looking, to find a great person to go out with and sleep with.

Most men are not like this. They don't whine and complain about competition but know that they are doing their best to become great men and will attract a like female one day. One of the reasons I like handsome men is because I don't like the poor me, I am so unlucky because I am not a ten attitude. I have learned that men who aren't good looking seem to be stuck on that very minute point even if I am going out with them and giving them every opportunity to wow me with their mind, their charm, their experience, etc. In other words, I don't care what men want, I am more concerned about what I want and I will get it because I don't let whiners ruin my perception of the great guys out there who aren't whiners and complainers. Those people just made me feel bad so I just ignore them now. Most women aren't like this or that, neither are most men. We are all individuals.

You will find someone like that too. Just stay away from guys like the ones you described.

[CrystalCastles]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

By invisible, do you mean, towards a particular type? I'm having that problem. I find I have no trouble attracting players (I get asked out ~4 times a year). However, the types of guys I like- the brilliant, well-read types- don't seem to be aware I even exist.

 

I think it depends on what group of men you're targeting and what those men value. If you're a hot bombshell, obviously player men are going to flock to you, but brilliant men might not because they value something else (ie. women who are intellectually on their level).

 

I've been told the same line "Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height". I find that unbelievably annoying, because not EVERY woman is going to be attracted to a 6' tall guy who looks like the statue of David.

[GoreSP]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

I've always struggled with this idea of "Female Privilege." A lot of guys I run into, both online and in real life, are convinced that by being female, a woman has some huge advantage in the dating game.

 

But I've never experienced those supposed "benefits." I've never been hit on or asked out. When I was single, I really, really struggled to find a guy who was even willing to hook up with me out of desperation.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real woman because I haven't experienced all of these things that are supposedly part of "being a woman."

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

 

Yep I can totally relate. I don't know I prefer to ignore those poor schmoes and just go on with my life.

[sugarpea]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

I've always struggled with this idea of "Female Privilege." A lot of guys I run into, both online and in real life, are convinced that by being female, a woman has some huge advantage in the dating game.

 

But I've never experienced those supposed "benefits." I've never been hit on or asked out. When I was single, I really, really struggled to find a guy who was even willing to hook up with me out of desperation.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real woman because I haven't experienced all of these things that are supposedly part of "being a woman."

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

 

They are generalising and stereotyping from their own experiences.

I think there are females out there which do fit the criteria and get whatever they want, but not everyone is like that. Also when they say attractive they mean to them it's different what people find attractive. Yeah you're probably attractive but maybe you're not their type. Also you're in competition so maybe it's not that you're not attractive but there might be another female in the room that they consider more attractive.

 

But no, being female isn't really an advantage, we have as much competition as men. I think they are just annoyed as it feels like they have to work for it, by pursuing and chasing.

But this is life it is natural and it is displayed everywhere in nature.

 

They don't see the other side of things the fact that the females are also competing, yes by making themselves look pretty to look attractive...etc, and it's not exactly easy for us either, we also have to work for it and pursue and chase, maybe not as much as it is a turn-off for most men, not our fault that it's just that way.

 

I rarely get hit on. Maybe five times at most (in my whole life I mean), always in a bar, always guys that have been drinking (you can't tell if its genuine). Once by my ex but he's really confident and was technically just looking for s**, lol he got more than he bargained for.

 

I find its only the really confident ones that hit on women and most often it occurs at a bar/club.

 

But I do get hit on a lot by my guy friends but I think they know me so they are attracted to my personality not just looks which apparently boosts your attractive level. If you score high on both personality and looks you become an 'ungettable girl', but really you can't be one until a guy gets to know you for more than just looks.

Edited February 11, 2014 by sugarpea

[sugarpea]

CrystalCastles

 

Maybe try online dating? This way men can see that you are more than just physically attractive.

 

From my own experience - using tinder - no it's not just hookups and sex - (you can tell which ones just want that). It connects to facebook but posts are hidden so profiles are probably real (unless someone went to all the effort to create a fake one) and you can see common interests. It seems like a very shallow app at first but really it's your own personal preference if you want to be open to anyone or not. You rate people by their photos. If you match you can talk to each other.

 

I've been speaking to genuine men, and have attracted some very intellectually attractive men, some with degrees, and a few with PhD's. I also had some average IQ guys and others which were a bit weird and one who seemed to be looking for a hookup, which I blocked. I haven't gone on any dates yet but there is one guy and we're really clicking and really there would not have been any other way in which I would have met him due to working hours among other factors.

[clia]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

I've always struggled with this idea of "Female Privilege." A lot of guys I run into, both online and in real life, are convinced that by being female, a woman has some huge advantage in the dating game.

 

But I've never experienced those supposed "benefits." I've never been hit on or asked out. When I was single, I really, really struggled to find a guy who was even willing to hook up with me out of desperation.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real woman because I haven't experienced all of these things that are supposedly part of "being a woman."

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

 

Honestly, the only place I've ever heard all this "female privilege" stuff is on this discussion forum. I've never heard a guy in real life so much as even mention it, but that may just be the result of the people I surround myself with.

 

I don't think you should even think about it for one more second.

[sugarpea]

Degrees =/= intelligence. Some of the most intelligent people I know are high school dropouts. Some of the dimmest wits I've ever encountered have degrees from the most prestigious universities.

 

I know that, my ex was that type of intelligent. What I meant was because you're having a conversation with them you can find out what type of intelligent they are, if at all intelligent. I find it's definitely a lot better than getting hit on by guys with sex on the mind in bars. It's rare for an intelligent man to hit on a woman.

[Revolver]

By invisible, I mean the following:

 

• Told that there are no attractive single women when you are, in fact, single and consider yourself attractive
  
• Do not frequently get asked out or hit on by men
  
• Don't get flooded with messages online
  
• Are very attracted to a specific body type or height, and are told repeatedly that women don't automatically "dig" that body type or height
  
• Are told that all women exhibit a specific behavior that you don't (all women want alphas/women don't actually enjoy sex for sex's sake, etc.)
  
• You can't get dates or even sex easily, when supposedly all women can
  

 

I've always struggled with this idea of "Female Privilege." A lot of guys I run into, both online and in real life, are convinced that by being female, a woman has some huge advantage in the dating game.

 

But I've never experienced those supposed "benefits." I've never been hit on or asked out. When I was single, I really, really struggled to find a guy who was even willing to hook up with me out of desperation.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real woman because I haven't experienced all of these things that are supposedly part of "being a woman."

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

 

This is how many black men feel when we hear white feminists talk about "male privilege"

[verhrzn]

God, I hate threads like this. OP's attitude is what makes a lot of men neurotic as fux these days: you're in a lose - lose situation:

 

"Men aren't chasing me! I need more men chasing me! Where are all the real men?!?!?"

 

"Why are so many men chasing me?!? All they think about is sex! They're nasty creeper horndogs! Just go away! Ewww!"

 

Because obviously women have never given advice here on how to respectfully pursue a woman that doesn't make her feel like you're just using her for a sexual object. Nope, must be impossible/too hard, better to just toss up the Strawman Extremes so you can ignore that women neither like being ignored nor harassed.

Edited February 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to deleted post redacted

[Els]

My honest suggestion, is to stop reading the material that triggers this feeling.

 

You come onto a board full of bitter, desperate, rejected guys, and then take everything they say personally and literally. I can't think of too many worse things to do with your time than that.

 

I'm happy to see you back on LS, but if LS and other online material is making you feel this way, it's probably time to either cut the cord or to do some serious filtering of which threads you choose to read.

[somedude81]

Why post a thread complaining about the complainers?

 

Does men being bitter have any affect on your life?

 

You've also spent a decent amount of time in relationships so I don't know what you're complaining about.

[verhrzn]

Why post a thread complaining about the complainers?

 

Does men being bitter have any affect on your life?

 

You've also spent a decent amount of time in relationships so I don't know what you're complaining about.

 

Relationships with bitter guys, guys who have the exact same complaints as the one on this board. Do you really think it's a good or rewarding thing to date guys who consistently complain that they can't get hot chicks? I mean, if they can't get women they find attractive, then what exactly does that make me, their girlfriend?

 

And yes, I've been in relationships.... 4, to be precise. Only one of which lasted over 1 year. Trying to find men is incredibly difficult for me. I don't know why guys on this board refuse to acknowledge that dating can be tough for women too-or is it only tough for the uggos?

 

And I'm not complaining about the complainers. I am genuinely asking how I, as a woman, should deal with these sorts of blanket statements that make me feel as if I am less of a woman in the eyes of so many men.

[somedude81]

Relationships with bitter guys, guys who have the exact same complaints as the one on this board. Do you really think it's a good or rewarding thing to date guys who consistently complain that they can't get hot chicks? I mean, if they can't get women they find attractive, then what exactly does that make me, their girlfriend?

If men you have dated have actually said that to you, then you have dated some seriously stupid guys.

 

Sure guys saying on the internet or to their guy friends that they can't find hot chicks is pretty common but I can't imagine anybody saying it to a girl they are dating.

And yes, I've been in relationships.... 4, to be precise. Only one of which lasted over 1 year. Trying to find men is incredibly difficult for me.

While that's three more relationships than I've been in, and I'm older than you, I understand the disappointment of only having one last more than a year.

 

Were you primarily the one being dumped?

 

I know you've also done the FWB thing and if you are sleeping with a guy on a regular basis, you can't classify yourself as single. We all have needs, but that's not an excuse.

 

I don't know why guys on this board refuse to acknowledge that dating can be tough for women too-or is it only tough for the uggos?

Because, for the vast majority of women, dating is easy. Sure there are a couple of outliers that may have it touch, for example you and and Phoe, but they are easily overlooked because they are so few.

 

Also many men here are bitter. It's very easy to believe that the other side has it much better. I myself have had much jealous to how easy I perceive it to be for women.

And I'm not complaining about the complainers. I am genuinely asking how I, as a woman, should deal with these sorts of blanket statements that make me feel as if I am less of a woman in the eyes of so many men.

Ignore them because it's simply the words of wounded men.

[verhrzn]

If men you have dated have actually said that to you, then you have dated some seriously stupid guys.

 

*Shrugs* That's what happens when a guy "settles."

 

Were you primarily the one being dumped?

 

Yes.

 

I know you've also done the FWB thing and if you are sleeping with a guy on a regular basis, you can't classify yourself as single. We all have needs, but that's not an excuse.

 

Um... and why can't I? The guy certainly claimed he was single. Sleeping with me didn't prevent him from sleeping with other people. So why exactly can't I call myself single? That's what I am-not seeing anyone.

 

Because, for the vast majority of women, dating is easy. Sure there are a couple of outliers that may have it touch, for example you and and Phoe, but they are easily overlooked because they are so few.

 

And I could claim that guys who complain about how hard dating is are the outliners. I could also point out that guys ignore women who have their own dating struggles. It took how many years of me complaining on this site before you finally admitted I might have it kind of tough? Most women are just going to give up complaining to men about how dating is rough because of how much flak they get, but that doesn't mean their problems don't exist.

 

Even looking at the "no attractive single women" thread there were plenty of women who spoke up about either themselves or their friends, and yet the guys in the thread continued to insist the women were either liars, "missing the point", or outliners. Exactly how many outliners are allowed before you would admit there's maybe something there?

[somedude81]

*Shrugs* That's what happens when a guy "settles."

I don't know what to say about that. It's hard to believe that a guy feels he is settling for you. If guys have actually told you that they were settling for you, then they were idiots and that must have hurt to hear that.

 

Yes.

That sucks.

 

Being the one who is dumped can really mess up your self-esteem.

 

Um... and why can't I? The guy certainly claimed he was single. Sleeping with me didn't prevent him from sleeping with other people. So why exactly can't I call myself single? That's what I am-not seeing anyone.

Part of it is a double standard, and the other is how sex emotionally affects women.

 

I believe that I've said this before, that I wouldn't date a woman who is having a FWB. Mainly because there is a very big chance that she is emotionally attached to the guy.

 

Then I'd want a girl who hasn't had sex in a while so she can build up anticipation of sleeping with me.

 

I also see having sex outside of relationship as a lack of self-control. Or more likely she doesn't have the willpower to delay gratification. It also shows that she doesn't value sex as something that is only supposed to be between who are in an exclusive relationship with somebody you really care about.

 

Yeah I get it that you want sex, but your sex drive mostly like pails in comparison to mine, and I haven't been trying to pick up drunk chicks or hiring hookers since the time my ex dumped me. I've made do and grudgingly gone without.

 

And I could claim that guys who complain about how hard dating is are the outliners. I could also point out that guys ignore women who have their own dating struggles. It took how many years of me complaining on this site before you finally admitted I might have it kind of tough? Most women are just going to give up complaining to men about how dating is rough because of how much flak they get, but that doesn't mean their problems don't exist.

 

Even looking at the "no attractive single women" thread there were plenty of women who spoke up about either themselves or their friends, and yet the guys in the thread continued to insist the women were either liars, "missing the point", or outliners. Exactly how many outliners are allowed before you would admit there's maybe something there?

The now attractive single women is a different issue and I've given my opinion on that in the respective thread.

 

And no, the men who do poorly with women are most certainly not outliers. It is a very significant number of men.

[tlegend]

*Shrugs* That's what happens when a guy "settles."

 

Yes.

 

Um... and why can't I? The guy certainly claimed he was single. Sleeping with me didn't prevent him from sleeping with other people. So why exactly can't I call myself single? That's what I am-not seeing anyone.

 

And I could claim that guys who complain about how hard dating is are the outliners. I could also point out that guys ignore women who have their own dating struggles. It took how many years of me complaining on this site before you finally admitted I might have it kind of tough? Most women are just going to give up complaining to men about how dating is rough because of how much flak they get, but that doesn't mean their problems don't exist.

 

Even looking at the "no attractive single women" thread there were plenty of women who spoke up about either themselves or their friends, and yet the guys in the thread continued to insist the women were either liars, "missing the point", or outliners. Exactly how many outliners are allowed before you would admit there's maybe something there?

 

Ok, I have a perspective for you.

 

Firstly, the guys you dated were douches. It's that simple really.

 

Secondly, you chose those individuals to date. You are responding with reactionary tendencies. Own up to your actions, it will do you well in the longterm.

 

You dated a guy who complained he couldn't get the hotter chicks and you feel he settled? Why are you putting yourself into a relationship with him?

 

You want to call yourself single? Go ahead.

 

You want to believe you have it tough? You probably do. You also can't deny the fact that it is your own perspective that you have it tough. The best part of your perspective, dare I say your reality, is that you can change it!

 

These guys you dated aren't "settling" for you. That sentence in of itself shows how "low" you rate yourself. These guys aren't settling at all, you are.

 

If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who claims he adores you, but isn't willing to show you that you are the center of his attention, then you can't put the blame on him. That's you settling.

 

You can't control the actions of others. You can only interpret, react, and change your own actions.

 

Is there guys out there who believe dating is easier for women? Yes. And the vice versa is also true. In fact, there's probably even people who feel that neither, or both are true. Do they affect who and when you date? NO!

 

The only time they would ever affect your existence is if you allow it to, or if you try to date one of those guys. You already know where that road leads, you've been there.

 

Instead of keeping yourself in limbo about how these guys have done you wrong and you've been deceived, lead on, and settled with, maybe you should really stop giving these guys the time of day, and find a guy who loves you, and is compatible, and is willing to give you the relationship you want and deserve.

 

And I'm not complaining about the complainers. I am genuinely asking how I, as a woman, should deal with these sorts of blanket statements that make me feel as if I am less of a woman in the eyes of so many men.

 

You ignore it. Remember the guy on the street corner saying the end of the world is near? How do you deal with that statement? Same way you deal with this statement. You acknowledge it as ludicrous and laugh...or ignore it.

 

My 2 cents.

Edited February 12, 2014 by tlegend

[darkmoon]

am old nobody fancies me but they like me I am kind trustworthy and give everybody a chance

 

 

love is love I am not fussy which brand I get

[Woggle]

People always think their struggles are worse because they have experienced them. The grass always tends to look greener on the other side.

[verhrzn]

 

Firstly, the guys you dated were douches. It's that simple really.

 

Secondly, you chose those individuals to date. You are responding with reactionary tendencies. Own up to your actions, it will do you well in the longterm.

 

You dated a guy who complained he couldn't get the hotter chicks and you feel he settled? Why are you putting yourself into a relationship with him?

 

Because I was told that's who I had to date. That I don't have a right to my own standards. If I'm single, it's because I'm ugly/crazy, remember? So either I stay with a guy who "settles" for me, or I have no right to complain that I'm single, cause hey, I could have had a relationship.

 

Bitter guys who complain about these sorts of issues put women into such an awful bind. They expect women to have no standards, because if she does, then she's picky/neurotic/too high maintenance/too shallow, and she doesn't have the "right" to complain.... buuuuut if she does just date whatever guy will have her, then she gets told it's her own fault for dating jerks. I mean, seriously, what the hell do Bitter/Nice guys expect?

 

These guys you dated aren't "settling" for you. That sentence in of itself shows how "low" you rate yourself. These guys aren't settling at all, you are.

 

Instead of keeping yourself in limbo about how these guys have done you wrong and you've been deceived, lead on, and settled with, maybe you should really stop giving these guys the time of day, and find a guy who loves you, and is compatible, and is willing to give you the relationship you want and deserve.

 

Maybe there is no guy who loves me and gives me the time of day. Like I said, you're putting me in an awful double standard.... either I'm settling or single, and either one is my fault, according to Internet legions.

 

And if I'm single for too long, "on the shelf," then it's my own fault that no guys want me because I'm "past my prime" and I should have settled down sooner (regardless of whether I actually found someone worth having a relationship with.)

 

This stuff is insidious, and I think guys really don't get how their bitter and self-pitying statements impact the women they interact with.

[verhrzn]

It doesn't matter if you don't like being ignored. There's this thing called free will. Men pursue who they wish. You can't force them to pursue you, nor do you have any say in HOW they pursue you. You are free to ignore their advances, but since you aren't getting any, problem solved.

 

You have no legitimate complaint about anything except in your twisted version of reality where you believe you are entitled to whatever you want. As you have found out by now time and again, life doesn't work that way.

 

How in the world does this comment even apply? I was responding to your complaint that women whine about getting ignored/getting harassed.

 

I am not asking guys to pursue me, I do not think I am entitled to their advances. I am literally just responding to your ridiculous claim that women who ask guys to make advances in respectful, not-overtly-sexual ways are never satisfying and whining.

[tlegend]

Because I was told that's who I had to date. That I don't have a right to my own standards. If I'm single, it's because I'm ugly/crazy, remember? So either I stay with a guy who "settles" for me, or I have no right to complain that I'm single, cause hey, I could have had a relationship.

 

Yet again, you are shifting blame to an outside source. Who the hell told you to date these guys, and why did you comply?

 

If you're single its because you're ugly and crazy? More ludicrous claims.

 

You are single, or you are in a relationship, or in between. The relationship isn't what you want? Then be single. Don't want to be single? Get attached to someone. I don't see the problem.

 

Bitter guys who complain about these sorts of issues put women into such an awful bind. They expect women to have no standards, because if she does, then she's picky/neurotic/too high maintenance/too shallow, and she doesn't have the "right" to complain.... buuuuut if she does just date whatever guy will have her, then she gets told it's her own fault for dating jerks. I mean, seriously, what the hell do Bitter/Nice guys expect?

 

More assumptions about men. Just that. Assumptions.

 

Stop stereotyping. You are simply making claims at this point, with 0 evidence other than your own perspective. Guess what? Noone else can see this world through your eyes. We can attempt to, but unfortunately, it seems most people are disagreeing with you. There is 7 billion people on this planet. Let's say half of them are men. That means theres 3.5 billion people on this planet that you are making claims for based on your own experiences (4 men).

You are effectively making a claim on a huge number of people based off your own experiences....which is approximately (.00000000114%) of a sample size.

 

Come on....

 

Maybe there is no guy who loves me and gives me the time of day. Like I said, you're putting me in an awful double standard.... either I'm settling or single, and either one is my fault, according to Internet legions.

 

So your love life is based off of internet legions? Advice is to be heard...and analyzed, then formatted to fit your situation if you deem it beneficial advice. If I told you that you should be abstinent for the rest of your life to avoid this situation, would you listen to me?

 

And if I'm single for too long, "on the shelf," then it's my own fault that no guys want me because I'm "past my prime" and I should have settled down sooner (regardless of whether I actually found someone worth having a relationship with.)

 

Yet another assumption and false claim. How the hell can you assume to know what a man is thinking if you haven't even met him yet. You're assuming the guy won't even be interested before you even meet him.

 

This stuff is insidious, and I think guys really don't get how their bitter and self-pitying statements impact the women they interact with.

 

It seems most women aren't affected because they have learned to move past those individuals who are bitter and self-pitying.

 

Birds of a feather flock together. You are the master and commander of your ship named Life. <Insert next metaphor to prove a point>

 

verhrzn, I think you should really read your responses objectively. Don't get upset or frustrated at my responses and then type the first thing that comes to your mind. Please, reflect your responses, and tell me, who is the bitter and self-pitying poster here?

[todreaminblue]

hey....i havent had a problem when i date...its normally guys who hit on me i don't have to do much which is lucky ...because i am actually shy when it comes to asking..more than shy.....scared s h i t less.....i spent six and half years closer to seven single.......by choice......i am with a guy now who can make me smile

 

 

i dont like the dating games either, the uncertainty or how much the rules have changed......i wouldnt worry about the guys who go on about how there are no women that all women dont like certain types........it is frustrating i know ....i have tried so many times on this board about height etc to say not all women go for six footers sigh....to no avail.................

 

 

 

all i know is there is a guy out there for you.......for everyone who actually cares there is someone similar somewhere and there is always more than one......i wish you well/......deb