broken family needs fixing as soon as possible

[korky]

Hi,

My names Chris iv been in a relationship for three with a girl that is wonderful.for the first two and a half years everything was great we had our own house, we had everything that we could have dreamt for we also had wonderful baby daughter who is 15months old now. we were so excited when we found out even though we were only 17,

 

After the first two years she fell pregnant agen but we had to terminate due to complications with the previous pregnancy, things were Al right for the next couple of months we went on holiday,out for meals really tried to enjoy family life.

 

Then things went down bank she got in with a group of her old friends things still seemed OK, then in the next few weeks i got the feeling that she had found someone else, she wouldent kiss me or let me kiss her or touch her, our sex life became none existent. she denies that she was having an affair,

 

When i would come in from work all her mates used to be there and she would be dolled up to the nines, as soon as i walked through the door they would get up and leave along with my fiance, leaving me Al night to look after our daughter.she would even stop out and say she's stopping at her mates house but would then turn her phone off.

 

We split up shortly after that because, she came in and told me that she had slept with someone else, so i packed my clothes and left, she was then rang me up saying that it was all a lie and she only said it because she dident know any other way to break things off with me,

 

But inside i believed that and still had strong feelings for her, we got back together after 3 weeks i tried my hardest to make things work, but then she broke it off agen saying it wasent working, i packed up and left agen, this time i was on the fone begging her to take me back, she eventually did around Christmas time which was great because i got to spend Christmas with my own family.

 

I was sure that things were going to work this time i tried even harder than the last time, but after 3 weeks we argued and in the argument she told me that she had met someone while we were broke up name ben and she didn't know if she wanted me or him, i told her to choose the father of her baby or this little fling, she then said she didn't want any of us,

 

So she kicked me out once agen, its not easy to keep leaving behind the two people that you care about more than anything in the world but that is what i had to do, i then went around to her house to try to talk but she wouldn't, she went for a lie down so i had my daughter down stairs so she could sleep in peace for a while,

 

I would do anything for her, but i couldn't help to snoop around i know i shouldn't but thats what i did, i found letters talking about other lads one lad she slept with while we were apart and another that she wants to be with,

i was crushed i didn't want this break up so my brain didn't register that we were separated, so it just crushed me from the inside out,

 

We went out last week just as friend (i have to make excuses to she her now)it went great that was one step forward for me so i felt abit better then my dad got involved and was calling her every name under the sun i could have just killed him there and then i hated the way he was speaking to her,

 

I ended up stopping over at her house that nite because i was living with my dad, we slept in the same bed but nothing happened, i was just so happy just to hold her close to me Al night it felt like the good old times, i d nothing wrong but it always gets taken out on me, throughout our relationship people have always stood between us that has been part of the problem,

 

She now wont answer the fone to me or reply to my text messages, it really hurts knowing what we have been through and succeeded over that she could move on and not think that it is worth another shot I'm willing to forget about the past and look to the future if she would,we have been through probably more in three years than an average couple do in a life time,

 

Iv sat here at this computer for 3 days now with no contact with the outside world, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cry 24/7 just thinking about my losses, she is my life, my soul partner, i have suggested relationship counciling, but she wont. I'm only 19 and I'm on anti-deppresants i am feeling suicidal and just cant cope with life, everybody in the world that has ever loved me seems to hate me. she tells me she dosent want me but still loves me , it so hard to here that from the person that you long for more and more each day,

 

I feel empty inside and have always got her in my head, i just feel what is the point in living without the one and only person that can make me happy, i don't just want to forget about her the truth is i cant i need her to survive, i need air to live, she is like the air i breath into my lungs, i love her with all my heart, body and soul, i just long for the day that we are back as one

[my_mother's_daughter]

Oh dear...

 

I hate it when I read a post on this theme and feel that my opinion is one the poster really doesn't want to hear, but here goes....

 

It is likely Chris that as the two of you were 16/17 when you became involved that she has changed emotionally and that her changes have included a change of feelings about you/her relationship with you. Her actions as you outline them here certainly seem to indicate that she wanted to be with someone else. Her inability to choose a specific alternative partner could indicate that she wanted out of the relationship and she was interpreting her exit as needing to be with someone/anyone else instead.

 

I will draw some criticism for this, but when a woman is truly in love with her man she generally don't WANT to sleep with other people.

 

Two elemets of this situ. are very sad - One: that a small child is involved and two: that she isn't being straight with you. To move on you need her to tell you exactly where you stand. It's not nice to be left dangling is it?

 

 

Your post refers to 'other people' coming between you, and also to the two of you having faced a lot in three years which could have made an impact on her behaviour right now, but as you don't clarify these I obviously can't comment.

 

It worries me that you are isolating yourself from the outside world and crying all day, this is obviously not healthy and I want you to try really hard to bring yourself to maybe call a friend and arrange to meet up and either talk about this or just get together and try to relax for a while. Call a friend, and don't call your ex, give her time and when you feel strong enough ask her to be honest about her true feelings with you. It's important you continue to have some kind of relationship for the sake of your daughter, and clearing the air - whatever the outcome - is the first step to succeeding with that priority.

 

Good luck

Believe it or not, you're going to be OK.

[NiCoLe20]

i agree with the previous post as well. see, i really cant relate to your situation buti can try to help you out.

 

seems like at first everything was perfect with you guys then suddenly started to fall apart. after the first time you moved out, you should've kept it that way. why be with someone who claims to like someone else AND sleep with someone else? she's the mother of your child, she shouldnt be doing things like this! as sad and hurtful as it is, you need to give her a lot of space.

 

i would arrange meetings with her only to pick up your daughter. let her have time to herself to figure out what she wants in life. you will always be around this girl b/c shes the mother of your child no matter what. she wont ever be out of your life so dont stress about that. granted you say you love her and i do believe that, but how can you love someone that stabbed you in the heart? it would take me a long time to forgive something like that. it sounds like she is really confused in who she wants in her life. so thats why i said to give her some time... atleast a good couple months to get her mind straight. dont call, text message, email or anything to see her and hang out... only do it for your daughter.... she should eventually come around. dont go begging to her... she's the one that did all this damage to your relationship... let her come back begging to you. thats the LEAST she could do in my opinion. even if she did i dont know ifi would want her back, because she could repeat this all over again. just leave her alone for a while and see what happens... you know the saying... ''absence makes the heart grow fonder''

 

good luck n keep us posted