irc333 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 ..I've always wondered, did they play long, agonizing games with each other before getting married or entered long term relationships? With all the threads about "Should I wait to call her" or "She hasn't responded yet, but I Think she's interested by the way she flirted with me" to "I don't know if she's into me or not" or so on and so on. Has any marriage or long term relationship STARTED with long, frustrating games of a "back and forth" volley of contact? I actually had a married man in my area, real cool guy, funny as all get out. I recall him telling me his "How we met story" was something along those lines. Apparently at the time he actually went over to her house and interrupted her DATE she had going on with a guy to tell her how he felt. She said something along the lines, "I never knew you really felt that way". Prior to all that it was a frustrating back and forth volley of "Games" with him, but it took him having to interrupt whatever she had going on with her current guy to win her over. Not sure if anyone has any similar stories?
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 My brother's and my best friend's relationships started like this. In both cases they have now been together for years and plan to marry. Both my brother and my friend's bf didn't want to commit. They had around 6 or so months of games where women basically cried and threatened to walk away, in the case my friend she did walk away - only for guys to end up committing. So for the first 6 months they all dated other people and had casual sex....I have witnessed and seen this happen and have advised my best friend to walk away so many times. So now even though both relationships are solid - they are not the types of relationships I would ever want to be in. It was sort of like "let's date everyone and see who sticks". Both relationships feel like settling for all parties. I am far to idealistic for anything like that but I remain single so yeah 1
Shepp Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Haha it took me like 4 and a half years to get the girl! But I think that was a bit different to the kind of answer your - we didn't do the wait half an hour before texting each other back, kind of game!
man_in_the_box Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 No it was like: *Consume alcohol, weaken social boundaries* "Wanna be my boyfriend?" "Ok" Now it's 5+ years later. 2
lovesickpuppy Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 A very wise friend once said to me 'I knew this was the real deal because everything just fit into place, there was no game playing, no confusion, we just hit it off'. I've applied that to my dating life, it seems that she was right, if something is too much hard work, too much confusion, too much mming and ahhing, it's probably not going to work.
GoodOnPaper Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 No intentional games. I was the one less interested, so maybe it appeared like I was playing the PUA hard-to-get game. After we had been together quite awhile, my wife did tell me that the fact that I wasn't fawning all over her piqued her interest more. In all of my previous dating/relationship experiences, I was the one who was more interested -- I always figured that was a big factor in the women losing interest or going into the relationships half-hearted in the first place.
central Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 There were no games. We were seriously interested in a LTR, whether or not that included marriage. After living together 7 years, we did marry (mainly for the practical benefits) and are happy about it. I think that when games and the like occur, and last more than a few months, then there probably isn't a firm foundation for a future relationship. Yes, you may still get married, but I think the odds of it lasting are much lower.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Longest relationship I ever had which was also the most unhealthy. There were lots of games . . . we were FWB, we were roommates, then we got together, then I moved out . . . really total drama. With my now husband, there was some game playing on my part. I was trying to be more feminine & less alpha. If he called I answered but if I missed his call, unless we had something planned I waited to call back. I purposely scheduled other things to do at least once per month on a weekend so I could honestly say "I was busy" when he asked for the date. I wanted to appear mysterious & in high demand. Some of my unavailability was legit -- I had a lot going on in my life besides dating -- work (2 jobs), volunteering, elderly parents who needed care, etc. In contrast to how silly some of the above sounds -- I planned dates, I provided open, honest communication, etc.
Woggle Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 No. The only thing is that it took me a while to really show my emotions to her but that was a fear rather than a game.
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