alexjames Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) First of all, I don't need anybody telling me I'm being stupid/pathetic here as I already know that I am! Last year, my first ever GF broke up with me on the 17th Feb (3 days after valentines). I had taken her away for the week, and after we got back (it was a brilliant holiday aswell, no issues at all) she ended it, because of fights we had had in the past! We were only together 9 months, but my God, I never knew what emotional pain was like until that moment. I still think about her everyday to this day and miss everything we had together, it was by far the best 9 months of my life. Then back in August, a work mate introduced me to a girl, and wow, she was the most beautiful girl I have EVER met. We got on like a house on fire and soon decided to become bf/gf. We only lasted 3 months! But again, the break up hurt like nothing else, I had really fallen for her, and was really enjoying life again, but we had a couple of little arguments and she didn't want to carry on. A month later, I got told by the workmate that set us up, that she is now with a new guy, and she is happy etc, which didn't help one bit! I now think of both girls daily, and the thought of them both happy and in love possibly (The first one is the only girl I've had any sexual encounter with, as me and the second wanted to wait). I put everything I possibly could into both of these, and it just wasn't good enough. Last Saturday night I bumped into the second in a local nightclub, and she came up to me and cuddled me, saying that se has nothing against me, no hard feelings and good luck etc, but she told me that she is now happier than she has ever been with her guy etc, so I had to pretend to look happy for her, but that ripped me apart. Now Valentines is approaching, and I keep thinking that last year was the first time I had ever been in a relationship on that day, and I was happy on holiday with her etc, and I was madly in love. Now they are both with other guys and spending the day with them, while I am going to be alone and upset.... I know it's one day of the year, but everywhere I look it's about loving your partner at this time of the year, romantic things everywhere you look etc, and it's horrible! I just really want to meet a lovely girl soon, someone who puts in as much time, effort and love as I do, but I really can't see it happening. I don't know HOW to meet anybody! Sorry for ranting, but i'm hurting more than I like to admit to be honest! Edited February 11, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lifegoezon Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I share your pain. I'm dreading the weekend and can't help hoping my ex will make a grand gesture to fix my broken heart. Truly pathetic as there is no way back in any case. We will have to close our eyes and ears to the romantic chatter, do something nice for ourselves and work on thinking about the future instead of what our exes are up to. Sucks doesn't it.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 V day can be a tough holiday. I always tried to have something to do . . dinner with a friend in a non romantic place, a movie, bowling . . . just something to no be alone. Some places will have anti-Valentine's parties. You may want to check them out. In the end, remember it's a Hallmark holiday & somehow you will love again. Hang in there.
rec88 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Valentine's Day is meaningful for two types of people: those in the honeymoon stage and those who are insecure in their relationship. The honeymooners are caught up in infatuation. That s**t wears off. The insecure people are trying to convince themselves and others that they are in a stable relationship by participating in this hallmark holiday, spending too much money on roses, and making grand public gestures that everyone else around them want to vomit. For everyone else, it's just another day. 2
dozer561 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 while i agree it is a hallmark holiday, it is still fun to go the extra mile just for the hell of it.. it was always a great day for me and my ex, but considering it is also my birthday that day, maybe that is why we paid more attention to it as both bday/vday... so now 4months out of a 7yr relationship, i get to spend this one alone, and i know it is gonna suck royally. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, noone to hang out with. I am just gonna sleep all day and wait for it to pass.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I love Valentine's day...always have. I loved lavishing my ex bfs and when I'm single I always do something special for my friends and family. I was that girl in Highschool who would send anonymous candy grams to the ppl who would sit alone in the hallways. This Valentine's day marks what would have been 2nd anniversary with my ex. No matter, I'm not going to let that ruin one of my fave holidays. I'm still going to be that little cornball and send my favorite people cards and bake em my famous mini cheesecakes! I say, don't sit and feel sorry for yourself. Do something nice for someone you love...doesn't have to be a romantic gesture. Hell, do something nice for yourself! 1
radiodarcy Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 maybe i'm just particularly cranky and sadistic when I say this: but i almost get annoyed at couples who don't do anything for Valentine's Day and say it's just another day, blah blah blah. I need a reason to hate them for participating in what is termed the most romantic day of the year, so I can feel secure in my bubble of anti-socialism and be content with hating everyone else. Sorry, for some reason V-Day brings out my dark, twisted side. But hey - - at least I know the problem is me and not everyone else:D
Author alexjames Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I do try and tell myself that you don't have to be with someone to enjoy yourself, and that in a way, you have to be happy being single before meeting a girl, as girls are attracted to happy guys, so in order to get that happiness that I want, I have to be happy in myself first. And I suppose, that just because I am single on valentines and my ex's aren't, it doesn't mean that I will be single forever! I have always had no confidence in myself at all. Mainly because I look VERY young (I get asked at work by customers if I am still at school etc!) and my ID is looked at very thoroughly whenever I need to use it! (Also, lets just say that I have a very ''embarassing'' issue concerning a certain part of me!!!) which really kills all confidence I have! But if I work on that confidence and believe that there is someone who will love me for who I am, then maybe i'll find her someday
Roses777 Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 I am half expecting my BPD/Borderline ex to reach out tomorrow. I will definitely not be contacting her, however. Nothing hits home quite like being single after leaving a LTR relationship on Valentine's Day for anyone, right?
Author alexjames Posted February 14, 2014 Author Posted February 14, 2014 Well the day is pretty much over and it wasn't too bad! I was busy most of the day at work which helped. But now, there is just one thing that I keep on thinking, and it is a truly pathetic, pure jealousy fuelled thought going through my mind, but I can't help it! What it is, is my second (the most recent) girlfriend, is 19 (2 years younger than me). She was a virgin when we got together and still was when we finished. We wanted to wait. She got with her new guy a few weeks later, and I know that she is really happy with him (she told me in the club, ive seen pics of them together, my workmate constantly tells me etc etc). So I keep wondering if, on Valentines, he has ''taken it away'' from her! I just really hate the thought of her ''with'' another guy like that. I know it really shouldn't bother me, but it does, i'm just being stupid I guess!
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