Author Timpye Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Today has been a real struggle. Anyone else feeling the same? Any motivation to keep us going? Call me lucky but this is the hardest thing Iv had to go through
Hope737 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I'm on month number 10 of no contact after an 8 year relationship. You're not alone, we all have our down days. However, I can mirror what most people say on here and it DOES get easier with time. Knowing that you will never again, speak to someone who you once loved and were so close to is a huge thing to take in. So take time to grieve, share your feelings with friends or family and you'll soon realise that life still goes on and does get a lot brighter! I found counselling to be particularly helpful as well. Anyway, chin up Timpye, there will be good days and bad days, but the good days do become more frequent. All the best!
signal Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 I am the same, 33 days NC - I will contact her if it breaks my heart again so be it but I can't sit here waiting. Go out and get it, if it works it works if not then that's the next stage
Author Timpye Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I am the same, 33 days NC - I will contact her if it breaks my heart again so be it but I can't sit here waiting. Go out and get it, if it works it works if not then that's the next stage You ended up contacting her? Let me know how it goes. I plan on doing the same thing but am trying to wait at least 50 days. Is it wrong that I plan on staying NC, whilst trying to better myself as a person, and sleep with other women, whilst still plan on getting back with my ex one day?
Author Timpye Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 Alright Iv been NC for just about a month. I plan to continue NC for at least another month, in this time I plan on getting close to other girls, going out having a good time, as well as doing a few things to make myself overall a better person. Although in a few months I plan on contacting my ex, and trying to make things work. Ultimately though, this will not be my decision and chances are I won't have a chance, is it wrong of me to plan on getting my ex back (I was the one who was dumped and told their is no chance of us getting back together)
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 (I was the one who was dumped and told their is no chance of us getting back together) Why is it so hard for you to respect the wishes of your ex? Furthermore, you plan on getting close to other girls, only to potentially hurt them when it comes time to "get back with your ex". What's wrong with this picture?
Author Timpye Posted February 12, 2014 Author Posted February 12, 2014 I'm just trying to move on as best as I can but havnt given up hope of getting my ex back.
pickflicker Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I'm just trying to move on as best as I can but havnt given up hope of getting my ex back. She said it clearly - she's not interested.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Alright Iv been NC for just about a month. I pisan to continue NC for at least another month' date=' in this time I plan on getting close to other irls, going out having a good time, as well as doing a few things to make myself overall a better person. Although in a few months I plan on contacting my ex, and trying to make things work. Ultimately though, this will not be my decision and chances are I won't have a chance, is it wrong of me to plan on getting my ex back (I was the one who was dumped and told their is no chance of us getting back together)[/quote'] I plan on owning a Mercedes Benz too, but here I am driving a piece Look, she made It clear to you what she wants, and that my friend isn' t you. That sucks to hear,, but thats what it is. She has to want to make that decision and its defiantly not one she will probably ever make. Going NC is to move on NOT to make her "realize" her mistake and come back. Keep moving on.
David87 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Timpye there's nothing more you can do at this point. Just let it go.
RDawg Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You can only try. Possible approaches: Option 1: Total honesty: Approach her in a couple of months and tell her you still love her, that you feel you have grown and evolved as a person and ask her if she would be open to giving things another chance. Tell her you would like to just spend some time together and see how things go. If she is still confident she made the right decision you will have to accept that. Maybe the two of you can then still be friends at some point way down the line. Option 2: Sneaky approach: Tell her that with the passage of time you have grown and now fully accept her decision and that you now totally agree it's for the best. Tell her you still miss her and value her and would like to pursue a friendship. Be real low pressure, keep it light and make her laugh, show her how mature you are. In time maybe her feelings will change towards you. Well that's the theory. I doubt either will work.
David87 Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Or try the third approach leave her alone and go NC ! ! ! 1
RDawg Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Ja. Clinging onto someone who doesn't want to be with you is exhausting and not good for ones self esteem.
FailedFirstLove Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 You ended up contacting her? Let me know how it goes. I plan on doing the same thing but am trying to wait at least 50 days. Is it wrong that I plan on staying NC, whilst trying to better myself as a person, and sleep with other women, whilst still plan on getting back with my ex one day? Umm the only right I see here is bettering yourself part...m
signal Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 No OP I haven't contacted her yet. NC contact around 31 days. She's currently dating another guy although once text me and spoke to my sister about me. May contact her this Saturday after valentines day as I know she is out on the 14th with her new date
rosedl Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 If she wants to resume a relationship and be with you again, believe me, you will hear from her. If you don't, it is because she is done with your relationship. Twisting yourself and settling for friendship won't work because it is not what you truly want from her. You want to reconcile. I so understand the urge to contact her. I am having a particularly rough patch the past couple of days after doing better for three weeks. My problem is that I don't believe him and I think he is really still in love with me and he is running away. BUT, I also know that even if that is true, it still doesn't matter because unless he does the work and choose the relationship on his own accord, there is no way it could ever work anyway. I can't engage in that dynamic anymore. I was always the one who risked, reached out, and advocated for us. It has to be mutual. Leave it alone. If she is meant to come back into your life, she will. Otherwise, one day at a time. So sorry. I know how very much it sucks! 2
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